


Fate and Fractured Hearts

by IllegalCerebral



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon-Typical Violence, Car Accidents, Childhood Trauma, Crime Fighting, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cults, Developing Friendships, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Held at Gunpoint, Hospitals, Hostage Situations, Kidnapping, Mass Death, Matchmaking, Minor Tara Lewis/Penelope Garcia, Multi, Other, POV Multiple, POV Second Person, POV Spencer Reid, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Soulmates, Religious Cults, Religious Fanaticism, Sad Spencer Reid, Secret Relationship, Serial Killers, Slow Romance, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 59,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27243703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllegalCerebral/pseuds/IllegalCerebral
Summary: Some people in the world are born with a timer on their skin, counting down to the moment they will meet their soulmate. You’ve always hated yours, wanting to be free to define your own relationships and to make matters more complicated your timer is counting down to your first day at the BAU.Spencer Reid has a complicated relationship with his own timer and you’ve only begun to scratch the surface of that when you’re thrown into a case that is darker and more dangerous than it first appears.(Reader is referred to with they/them pronouns throughout and is aroace)
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Brenner & Reader, Maxine "Max" Brenner/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & Reader, The BAU Team & Reader
Comments: 18
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **I do not give my permission for this work to be copied and reposted anywhere. If you see this story anywhere other than AO3 or my tumblr account (@illegalcerebral) it has been STOLEN**

00.43.23

_What the fuck? What the actual fuck?_

Your eyes darted around the foyer at Quantico, eyeing everyone with suspicion. You had worked your whole adult life to be here. The endless sleepless nights writing reports, the numerous hours running the assault course or training at the firing range and the amount of sweat blood and tears you had poured into getting this interview was about to be derailed in less than an hour.

The red numbers on your wrist blinked up at mockingly, the numbers blurring as your eyes filled with tears. The only thing worse than running into a soul mate that you absolutely did not want was meeting your new boss while you were snivelling. You stopped. What if your new boss was your soul mate? Then you were really screwed. The FBI must have a litany of rules about soulmates working together. Most places did. Several high profile cases in the last decade had soured some of the cultural value of the soulmate bond. There were rumours that the Boston bombing that had cost the BAU six of its agents was somehow due in part to soulmates. The file was heavily redacted of course. There were special legal protections borne from years of lawsuits, cases, and activism. 

Why should a person be blamed for their actions when it’s the will of the universe? The soulmate bond is as fundamental and unbreakable as the atoms that make up existence. Breaking it is like reversing the big bang.

Not that you believed that. For you the soulmate bond was like a noose and it was getting tighter with every moment. The problem for you was that everyone thought that the only type of love that soul mates could share was romantic or sexual. You were deeply uncomfortable with the idea of either. As a kid you’d been excited by the idea that one day you would find your best friend as dictated by fate; someone you could share everything with.

Your mother had laughed when you told her that and as your smile had crumpled she’d explained that you _married_ your soulmate silly. You would fall in love and kiss them and live happily ever after.

_“I don’t want that! That’s gross.”_

_“You’ll feel different when you’re older”_

_“I won’t! I hate my soulmate and I never want to meet them!”_

You hid the countdown whenever you could and refused to talk about it. Your family stopped teasing you and started lecturing you, and then they started arguing with you before you’d had enough. Moving out had helped but the relationship was still strained. 

You looked down at your wrist again. 00.33.42. Oh god this was it.

“Y/N?” A voice shocked you from your reverie, “I’m SSA Emily Pr-oh. Oh balls.” Your new boss looked down at your arm in dismay. You cursed yourself for not covering up better and rolled down your sleeve.

“I’m really sorry,” you gabbled, “this is so unprofessional, when you called and we decided the date I wasn’t paying attention and then I thought I should change and then I thought that would seem unprofessional and I am the most professional I swear to God. It may not look like it now but it’s kind of unusual circumstances and I can’t tell you how badly I want this job and-“

Agent Prentiss held up a hand. Lucky for you since you hadn’t paused for breath once and was in danger of passing out if you went on for too long. 

“It’s fine Y/N. This isn’t something you can help. Soulmate bonds override everything right?”

Wow, was that a note of bitterness you detected? You went to speak (not that you had any clue what to say) but Prentiss continued.

“We have an agent upstairs who has spent the past hour staring at his own armand his face looks pretty much like yours right now…”

***

“Reid?” Luke said gently. He glanced over at Garcia who was chewing her lip and practically vibrating with nerves. 

“I can’t do this again,” Spencer said, voice muffled as his face was buried in his hands.

Luke knelt down in front of him.

“Hey, look at me. You’re safe okay? Prentiss isn’t going to let anything happen to you. This new agent has been vetted more than anyone in the history of the bureau once we realised that the time of their arrival matched your countdown. We’re your family and family protect their own.”

“What if it isn’t the new agent?” Spencer’s head snapped up, “It could be anyone! The mail comes round at the same time each day, maybe my soulmate is delivering the mail?”

Garcia and Luke glanced at each other.

“We’ve had the same mail guy for years and I’m pretty sure Glen’s been married to his soulmate for like fifty years. They had that big anniversary part remember? It was rodeo themed and-“

“What Garcia means is that it’s unlikely,” Luke cut in. Spencer carried on shaking his head.

He couldn’t go through this again, it would break him. Everything that he’d been through in the last decade and some newbie agent was going to be the one that destroyed him. Anger and resentment bubbled up and he clenched his fists till his knuckles turned white.

“Maybe they’re nice,” Garcia said weakly. “I read Agent Y/N’s file and I actually think you might like them, they-“

“I don’t want to know Garcia,” Spencer rose abruptly. He didn’t care if his soulmate was the Dalai Lama or could quote every episode of classic Doctor Who off by heart. None of it mattered because he didn’t want anything to do with them. 

Spencer marched out of the office, head down, and steps heavy. It was probably better to meet this thing head on and make it clear from the start that they were going to be co-workers and that was it.

The elevator pinged down the hall and Spencer heard Emily’s voice, laced with concern.

“You look a little green,” she said, “are you sure you don’t want to sit down?”

“No,” an unfamiliar voice answered, “I think, yeah I’m sure I’ll be fine. I-“

The three of them came to a halt, Spencer facing down Emily and the stranger. The hallway was deathly quiet and the only sound was a ringing like a bell, but with no discernible source. Spencer looked down as the string of zeros on his arm began to break apart and reform into a spidery pattern. He looked back up at the stranger.

His soulmate.

At that moment he felt nothing but he was clearly alone in that. Your features were painted with nothing short of abject horror. That was…unexpected.

“I am…so sorry,” you wheezed out before dropping your bag with a thud and sprinting to the bathroom. Faint retching sounds could be heard a moment later.

“Agent Y/N is also not entirely comfortable with the soul mate bond,” Emily said before the awkward silence could stretch on too long. “Evidently they found the lead up to their first day stressful.”

“Are they…?” Garcia and Luke had managed to follow Spencer out of the bat cave without him noticing. “They did not look well.”

“I tried to explain the situation,” Emily told Spencer, “but honestly I’m not sure how. I think you need to have a conversation and-“

“No”

“Spencer this isn’t their fault,” Emily said firmly, “just like it’s not your fault and I know how you feel about this but they are probably the one person who gets that better than anyone except you. They’re scared. They’re fighting hard not to show it but they are and they also part of this team.”

“We take care of our own,” Luke said softly.

The anger Spencer had felt had dissipated. He had braced himself for someone gushing; a grand declaration of love and the thought of that alone almost killed him. He hadn’t expected the opposite reaction.

“Take all the time you need,” said Emily, beckoning Luke and Garcia away. With a sigh Spencer gingerly nudged open the bathroom door.

You were bracing yourself against the sink. There was a slight sheen of sweat on your face and you were trying to steady your breathing.

“You look terrible,” Spencer blurted out before he could stop himself, “sorry that was rude. You’ve obviously…you’re not…I mean.”

“I’m Aroace,” you blurted out. “That means I-“

“You’re aromantic and asexual,” Spencer nodded, “I know what that means. Is that…is that why you were worried about us meeting?” You nodded. Running the tap, you splashed some water on your face and patted it dry with some towels.

“This isn’t the first impression I wanted to make,” you sighed, “you wouldn’t believe how badly I wanted this job and the thought that I might not get it is devastating but what’s worse is the idea that a complete stranger might expect something of me that I just can’t give.”

Some of the tension left Spencer’s body and guilt gnawed at the back of his brain. He hadn’t stopped to consider for a moment that his soul mate might feel like he did.

“I don’t want anything from you,” he said. “I know some people think they’re entitled to certain things from their soulmate but I don’t. I don’t even want a soulmate.”

“Agent Prentiss said you’d had one before,” you said slowly. Prentiss had refused to give you details but there was a story there and from her tone you guessed it wasn’t a happy one.

“I’ve had two,” Spencer leaned against one of the other sinks, arms folded across his chest.

“You’re a triple?” you gasped. “Seriously? I’ve heard of doubles, I even worked with a girl in the Atlanta office whose husband was a double but I have never heard of a triple. I…oh”

When a person loses their soul mate they don’t usually gain another. In some very rare cases though their mark reformed into another countdown and they got a second chance. Reactions varied, some people felt it must be some kind of biological glitch, a genetic mutation that made a mockery of the sanctity of soul mates. 

How could it be fair that some people got two chances at bliss when half the population didn’t get a countdown and had to find love and companionship the slow way?

Others however felt like it was the universe’s way of comforting those who had the love of their life taken away from them. The loss of a soul mate was supposed to be worse than any other pain that could be experienced.

Spencer had apparently gone through that twice.

“The first one...I don’t like talking about her, I’m sorry. I don’t like talking about any of it but you probably deserve to know about the second,” Spencer took a deep breath.

“You don’t have to,” you held up your hands. “I’m a total stranger to you. Whatever these marks mean, you don’t have to tell me anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

Spencer blinked, brow furrowed in confusion. For a moment he considered staying quiet. It would be so much easier and save him so much pain but you would find out anyway and he would prefer to tell you in his own words. 

“That’s really kind,” he smiled, “but everyone in the bureau knows. It was…it was kind of a big deal. There were hearings and NDAs and I’m pretty sure I’m on a blacklist or two now.”

You tried not to let the unease you were feeling show on your face. You had a pretty good idea of what Spencer was alluding to but you couldn’t let him know that.

“What happened?” you asked.

“I killed my soulmate”


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m sorry you what?” you stuttered. That wasn’t what you had expected at all. You’d expected Spencer to confess to being present at the Boston bombing. Not that he looked old enough, but Emily had said…

Your mind was reeling and you had to take a deep breath and re-centre yourself. Spencer clearly wanted to get this off his chest. “I’m sorry, please continue.”

His expression was unreadable but after the briefest of pauses he did. 

“Four years ago Penelope was targeted by a group of hit men called The Dirty Dozen, you may have come across them in the files,” you had and now you recalled that there had been some sort of an issue with the take down but you didn’t dare speak. “We made contact with one of them and the date for the rendezvous coincided with my countdown. They wanted to pull me from the op but I insisted. I thought it was a coincidence and maybe a worker at the restaurant we’d chosen or another patron was my soulmate and how could I let them be exposed to something so dangerous without intervening? I went over my boss’ head and explained and was given permission to go ahead with the op as planned.”

Ah there it was, the sanctity of the soulmate. Everything else came second to that even, apparently, protecting the public.

“It was her, the target. Our countdowns went off and…” Spencer looked down, swallowing. You had no idea what to say. “She killed men that reminded her of her father. Men with children. Sometimes she hurt their families too just for fun. She was a monster.”

“Cat Adams?” you asked. Spencer looked up at you, that same unreadable expression on his face. “I read all the BAU’s files before I came here. I know that she had a kill count in the hundreds, I know she continued to commit murders from behind bars but everything on her death was redacted.”

“She framed me for murder,” Spencer held up his hands, “it’s a long enough story as it is and to cut it short I was foolish and she took advantage. When I got out of prison she tried to hurt my mother, she claimed she was… I was sent to interrogate her straight after getting out of prison and I snapped.”

He couldn’t look at you. You couldn’t blame him. There he was an officer of the law admitting he had killed someone, a woman he was supposed to have a connection with.

“She was going to kill my mother, she claimed she was pregnant with my baby, she robbed me of ten years of sobriety and took away my freedom. I just snapped and I strangled her.” Despite everything he was saying you felt a pang of pity and you hated it. You should be disgusted. It must have been that stupid bond warping you.

“You’re not in jail,” you said, and then cursed yourself because you sounded so stupid, so whiny.

“I should be. I nearly was but the bureau brought in experts. I was evaluated and there was a tribunal. They decided that there were extenuating circumstances, the murder of one soulmate by another is complex.”

“And of course there’s legal precedent there,” you said, unable to keep the disgust out of your voice. Larry fucking Turner. In 1979 he’d murdered his soulmate in cold blood and lain with her body in their blood soaked bed for three days until they were found. It was before you were born but it was the case of the century. You were sure it couldn’t be the first case of soulmate murder but nothing had ever been proven before. Turner had confessed and it had turned the world upside down. It defied all laws of both nature and man and no one had known what the fuck to do.

The trial had dragged on for months, there had been debates not just in the US but all over the world and finally Larry had been acquitted despite the fact he was guilty and admitted being so.

He’d thrown himself off a bridge less than two weeks later and to this day debate still raged. You had your own theories but they were fringe and unpopular. Common thought was that it was another anomaly, so rare and so disturbing it should be ignored.

Until of course it had happened again.

“I’m not a bad man,” Spencer said quietly. I’m not like Larry Turner, is what he meant and perhaps it was right but what the hell did it even matter? He’d gotten away with murder. He gestured between you. “This can’t be anything. You don’t want it and I don’t want it.”

“I’m not giving up this job” you said defiantly, “I’ve taken too long to get here. I have worked too hard. If anything this is a good thing because we’re on the same page.”

Spencer nodded curtly, lips pressed together. You hated how on edge you felt and how the thing you wanted more than anything had been ruined just as you got it. You left the bathroom without looking back, briefly checking in the mirror and deciding that not looking absolutely terrible was good enough.

A few seconds later Spencer followed you out, just as you realised you had no idea where you were going.

“Bullpen’s ahead,” he said softly. Wordlessly you let him lead the way. Emily and the two other agents were with the rest of the team. David Rossi you recognised from lectures at the Academy and Tara Lewis was a rock star in the field but the rest you were unfamiliar with.

“Everything okay?” Emily looked between the two of you. You hesitated but Spencer cut in.

“Everything’s fine,” he said and his tone was easy as if he hadn’t just confessed to murder and getting away scot-free.

“Everything’s fine,” you echoed. Emily raised an eyebrow but didn’t challenge it. Instead she just introduced you to the rest of the team. There was a thick tension surrounding you all and your heart sank as you realised that it might never change. You had burst into these people’s lives under a black cloud and that might never lift.

“I’m Penelope!” The woman from earlier pulled you into an unexpected hug. She smelled of a citrusy, sweet perfume and you were sure there was a haze of glitter around her. Over her shoulder you could see the others smiling and your heart lifted a little bit. “I’m the team’s technical analyst slash mascot slash purveyor of joy in this dark, depressing world.”

“She’s selling herself she’s indispensable, not our mascot,” Matt half-scolded. “We couldn’t do what we do without her.”

“I don’t know about that,” said Luke, earning him a death glare from Penelope. There was something going on there. Instinctively your eyes wandered to their arms. Both were free from any marks or numbers.

Lucky, you thought. 

You could see a mark peeking out from JJ’s sleeve and one on Matt’s wrist. Everyone else had their arms covered and you wondered if it was deliberate. Every time you encountered someone who wanted to hide that part of them you felt a little less hysterical in your hatred of soulmates. Or at least you felt a little safer.

“Since there’s no cases to fly off to today I am going to give you the grand tour, that is if the boss lady says it’s okay,” Penelope announced. Emily laughed.

“Actually that’s a good idea, it means you can hit the ground running from Monday.”

Perhaps everything was going to be okay.

***

Spencer slipped away as Emily was introducing you. You seemed nice enough but Spencer wasn’t taking any chances. Not to mention that any decent person would have been horrified by what he had told you and from what he had read in your file you were a decent person.

He’d lied to Luke and Penelope. When he realised that the new agent Emily was meeting at the exact deadline of his countdown clock was probably his soulmate there was no way he could have kept himself from looking at your file. 

You weren’t kidding when you said you’d worked your entire life to get to the BAU. Your academic background, your first postings at the bureau and even your voluntary work had all been geared towards making you the perfect applicant. Every single supervisor sang your praises; your colleagues loved you and you made an excellent impression wherever you went.

An odd mixture of jealousy and longing had bubbled up in Spencer as he had devoured your file. It all looked like it had come so easy. Rationally he knew that it was down to hard work, it wasn’t like you had a family connection in the bureau or were from a rich or privileged background that allowed you to cut corners. Everything you had achieved had been through your own hard work.

But staring down at the photo included in the file all Spencer had been able to see was a grenade about to be launched into his life again, smile up at him like a taunt. When he’d seen you shaking and upset in the bathroom he hadn’t really known what to do.

It should have been a relief that you didn’t want a soulmate, that he didn’t have to open his heart up to being hurt again but there it was, the familiar sting of rejection. Part of him wondered if it was because he wanted to be in control, _he_ wanted to be the one that pushed _you_ away. It felt petty and cruel but Spencer desperately craved a sense of control right then. 

He slipped into one of the disused file rooms and rolled up his sleeve, squinting at the new mark there. It was dark like a birthmark. Every mark was unique to the two soulmates. Only you would have the same shape on your skin. It didn’t look like anything in particular that Spencer could see then. Often they didn’t though some people were convinced they saw images or words in the soulmate mark. 

When he’d seen Maeve for the first and last time Spencer hadn’t had the chance to look at the mark, he’d been too concerned with saving her life and then when he’d stood over her bleeding body he couldn’t bear to look, pulling his sleeves down, afraid to see the unmarked skin.

When he’d finally looked a few days later through a haze of grief, his senses dulled he’d done a double take. It had to be a mistake. Spencer had scratched his arms raw trying to get rid of the numbers before calling Hotch in despair. To this day Spencer wasn’t sure why Hotch was the person he called.

Later on, clearer, headed he reflected that it was a casual act of cruelty. When Hayley had died Hotch had not received another countdown clock, his soulmate mark had simply faded as if it had never been there. The rest of the team had been on a case and when Spencer had put down the phone the last thing he’d expected was for Hotch to turn up at his door nearly six hours later.

“You need to call your sponsor,” was the first thing Hotch had said, followed by “and open a window.”

It probably said something about Spencer’s relationship to authority figures that it was the kindest thing Hotch could have done; to turn up at his apartment and start ordering him around. They cleaned, Spencer showered, and Hotch made an omelette and stared Spencer down until he ate every bite. Then they sat and everything spilled out of Spencer.

He’d ranted and raved, getting up several time to pace back and forth. Then Spencer had cried so hard he could breath and finally he’d slumped down, half passed out.

“I know it’s hard for you to accept,” Hotch said slowly, “but you’re looking for an answer where there isn’t one.”

“It’s not fair,” Spencer had slurred, “she’s gone and now someone else is coming to take her place? Maeve doesn’t deserve that.”

“It isn’t fair. Fair means adhering to the rules and there are no rules for this. There’s a certain way these things manifest but beyond that it’s chaos until we find a way to wield it. There are people who would kill, who have killed; to be in the position you’re in now. There are people who never get the chance to experience what we do. There are people who do and it destroys them.”

How could Spencer have responded to that? The great uniting force in the universe and Hotch had dismissed it as chaos. What was worse was that he was right.

“The same is true of pain,” Hotch had continued, “it’s chaos but one day you will find a way to wield it.”

It wasn’t “everything happens for a reason”. Thank god because Spencer knew he would have lashed out of something so trite had come out of Hotch’s mouth.

Eventually he did find a way to live with the pain and he was never sure if knowing there was another chance at love helped or hindered that process. It didn’t matter. The chaos came again, and it burned more than just Spencer that time.

If it was coming a third time there would be nothing left in its wake. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of canon typical violence and discussion of violence against women and murder over the next couple of chapters.

“How’re you settling in?” Tara leaned against your desk as you finished rearranging your books and files. 

“Good?” You shook your head. You didn’t want this to be weird and you had to catch yourself every so often. “Sorry, it’s been good. Penelope took really good care of me last week and I spent the weekend catching up on all the cases the team is currently consulting on. I’m itching to get started.”

“Wow, you’re keen,” laughed Tara, “remember what they say about all work and no play though.”

“I play!” you protested with a laugh. Tara plucked one of the Power Ranger figures from the top of your desktop screen, tapping the button to make his head flip over.

“I can see that,” she said but it wasn’t malicious. You never would have brought them to work before but the tour of Penelope’s office included an in depth introduction to all her knick-knacks and figurines so you thought it must be okay. You figured you could use them in your new job. Just to help you feel brave.

“Are those vintage?” Matt asked, eyes wide. You snorted.

“No. They’re mine from when I was a kid.” 

“Yeah that’s what I mean, vintage!”

A light-hearted squabble broke out that quietened somewhat when Spencer and Luke walked in. Spencer didn’t look at you as he headed to his desk but Luke headed over to inspect your desk. You tensed a little, from what you gathered he and Spencer were close and you were prepared for that to affect how he spoke to you.

“I haven’t seen these in years! And the head mechanism still works!” Luke picked up the red ranger and marvelled at it, “and you have all the accessories too.”

“I have the Zords at home,” you explained. “Thought that may not be appropriate for my desk.”

“No you have to bring it in,” there was a pleading tone in Luke’s voice. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Newbie, hands off my friend we have a case,” Penelope announced as she bustled in.

“Newbie?” Luke just rolled his eyes as everyone made their way up to the roundtable room.

“We uh, didn’t get off to a great start,” he explained, voice lowered so Penelope couldn’t hear, “I replaced an agent she was close to and she’s been kind of…defensive since. Hence, newbie.”

It couldn’t be a soulmate thing, Penelope had no mark, but she gave the impression of someone who loved deeply, who wore their emotions on their sleeve. Your mother would say it was such a shame that someone like was alone in the world. Except of course she wasn’t, Penelope was surrounded by a love that was only equalled by what she put out into the world.

“Even after Matt joined?”

“Oh Matt didn’t replace Agent Morgan and neither did you so you’re safe,” laughed Luke. You laughed too but out of the corner of your eye you could see Spencer holding back to avoid brushing past you. Your chest constricted which only served to frustrate you. It was purely psychological, the build up of years and years of pressure from your family, friends, the media and society as a whole that the soulmate bond was this huge, significant thing. You hadn’t even wanted it and yet here you felt guilty for no reason. It didn’t help that you still hadn’t processed what Spencer had told you.

You read up on everyone on the team over the weekend in between reading case files. It was an elite unit, everyone’s resumes showed that and Spencer was no exception. But he was brainy rather than brawny and it looked like a lot of the physical requirements for joining the bureau were waived due to his intelligence. Up until the incident that led to his incarceration that remained the case though he had made progress on the shooting range at least.

On paper he just didn’t seem like the sort of man who could kill a woman in cold blood.

 _But isn’t that why we’re here?_ you thought, _because you can’t tell who the monsters are just by looking at them._

You pushed the thoughts from your mind as you took a seat between Tara and Luke and began to flick through the photos on your tablet.

“You’re heading to the evergreen state crime fighters. The Seattle Field office has been assisting on a missing persons case for the past four years and it’s just turned into a homicide,” Garcia explained, “Chrissy Tennant left her job at a company that repairs and maintains farming equipment on Friday afternoon and didn’t show up the following Monday.”

The trail went cold and though the case remained open and active there were no developments until last week”. You lent back in your chair, processing the information as a host of new pictures flooded the screen. Your brain faltered mid-thought as you took it in and from the sharp intake of breath you heard from around the table, you weren’t the only one caught off guard.

“Is that a mass grave?” Matt asked. Penelope could only nod, lips pressed together and head turned so she wouldn’t look at it.

“There’s…twelve bodies in there?” you gasped.

“Fourteen,” Emily said quietly, the first body examined by the coroner was found to be a pregnant woman, nearly full term, and when they removed her there was another body underneath.”

“COD?” asked Spencer and instinctively you turned to him. He looked pale and for a moment there was a wave of relief crashing over you. He wasn’t completely devoid of feeling then. Granted a pit of dead bodies was a low bar for inciting feeling but it was something.

“Our pregnant Jane Doe was killed by a gunshot would to the back of the head as were the three other bodies excavated so far. Ages range broadly from late teens to late thirties, and a rough estimate is that the oldest Jane Doe has been there at least a decade.”

“And Chrissy is one of the victims?” you felt stupid as soon as you asked. Emily pointed to one of the bodies, scraggly hair mercifully covering her face.

“This outfit here is an exact match for the description of what Chrissy was wearing when she was last seen. DNA will confirm. Their clothing has identified two of the other women. First is a runaway named Jaime Stevens, missing six years and the body under the pregnant Jane Doe is likely Melanie Charpentier, thirty two year old architect and mother of two. Her husband reported her missing eighteen months ago,” said Emily. “There’s a lot going on here so we’ll continue to review on the jet. The ME’s office has a team working on this and they’ll send us IDs as they make them. Wheels up in 30.”

Everyone except you rose, you were still flicking through the photos, trying to absorb the mountain of information thrown at you. At first glance this was anything but textbook

“Hey,” Spencer hovered awkwardly by the door. You hadn’t even noticed everyone else leave. He looked like he desperately wanted to be gone too. “You uh okay?”

You bit your lip. You wanted to say yes, brush it off and look as professional as possible but the image of those women, discarded in a hole like trash were burned into your brain.

“Is this a bad one?” you asked, “I mean I know they’re all bad but-“

“Yes,” Spencer cut you off, “it’s not clear what’s going on here but from those photos and victimology, its atypical.”

You nodded, silently gathering your things and following Spencer out, making sure to keep the distance between you two. It was a hell of a case to start with.

***

As the last two on the jet you and Spencer had no choice where you sat and so ended up together on the couch. Glancing up, Spencer saw JJ shoot him a sympathetic look that made his stomach tighten. It had been a mistake to try and talk to her about it, she’d offered to try and keep you apart with Emily’s help and despite the clash of emotions Spencer felt when he looked at you he knew it wasn’t your fault. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you weren’t part of the team because Spencer was uncomfortable.

He could feel the tension rolling off you though your face was a mask as you scanned through your tablet. You managed to crack a smile when Garcia’s face popped up on the screens though.

“There were two initial suspects in Chrissy’s disappearance,” Emily explained, “her boyfriend of two years that never reported Chrissy missing and a co-worker that she had made a complaint about. Boyfriend Peter de Mare claimed they had a fight over their shared finances and he avoided her over the weekend to let the dust settle. He was on a fishing trip over the weekend and there were witnesses though the detectives who first investigated thought he may have been able to slip away during the night without being seen.”

“And the co-worker?” JJ asked.

“Phillip Lake. He said the complaint was to get back at him for being promoted over Chrissy and there was no basis. He also had an alibi for the weekend so he was ruled out.”

“Then the trail went cold,” Spencer read from a paper copy of the file as opposed to the tablet. “The investigation didn’t let up though. They thought she may have left the state, hence the Bureau being involved, but it doesn’t say why.”

“There may have been a drugs connection,” Garcia winced, “her family swore blind Chrissy wasn’t involved in that but a friend told police she went to AA meetings for about six months before her disappearance. For the last three years she’s been making semi-regular trips to Idaho despite apparently not knowing anyone there and having no connection to the state.”

“Doing what?” you asked, causing Spencer to look at you. You didn’t return his gaze.

“That’s where things get weird. Local PD have records of payments for plane and bus tickets but there’s no record of where she went when she arrived in Idaho. Weirder still she made no payments with credit cards during her trips and she would switch her phone off before leaving home and after she arrived back. The trips stopped a year before Chrissy disappeared.”

“Preliminary victimology shows the women are all different races and from different social backgrounds. There’s also a range of ages so they’re not surrogates,” said Rossi, “but they could all be involved in some kind of organised crime.”

“Bullet to the back of the head is a common execution style,” Spencer said, “It seems strange they’re all women though.”

“Because men are more involved in organised crime?” you asked, forcing Spencer to look at you again. He was hyper aware of how close you were and so could only nod before clearing his throat.

“And uh, there’s no indication these are especially high risk victims. The local area has a low crime rate too.” Spencer squirmed in his seat, his face reddening under your gaze. It was ridiculous. It was just a little proximity, why couldn’t he keep it together?

“ME has identified two other bodies. Our pregnant Jane Doe is Dr Fatima Aden and she’s been missing for six weeks. She and her husband are both GPs in Oregon which is where she vanished from.”

“So some of our other vics could be from out of state too,” said Rossi, “any connection to Washington?”

“None and her disappearance, like Chrissy’s was way out of character. Her sister and husband reported that she didn’t come home after work but police made them wait twenty-four hours. Her car was found burnt out at the side of the road two days later on the way out of the town they live in.”

“So she either she was abducted in Oregon and taken to Washington to be killed or killed and her body transported over state lines,” you said, “either way that is a massive risk so the dump site must have some significance. What about the other vic Garcia?”

“Meredith Bolton-Smythe, 24 year old trust fund kid. Her Dad is a big software guy in silicone valley and-“

“She’s a social media influencer,” you interrupted. Everyone looked at you and the tension seemed to thicken. “She uh, caused some controversy online a few years ago that made some minor headlines.” 

“Controversy?” Emily raised an eyebrow. Your grip on the tablet tightened and Spencer had the urge to reach out and past your arm reassuringly.

“She got engaged to guy, some athlete or something, who was dating someone else,” you mumbled and before anyone could open their mouths to ask, the rest tumbled out, “the other woman was his soulmate. He was kind of famous so when their affair got out she got a lot of hate online and then they got engaged and she released a statement that basically trashed the soulmate bond and last I heard she had to delete all her social media, move house and basically go into hiding.”

The jet was deadly silent. Your gaze dropped to the tablet, your knuckles still white. Spencer looked at the team. Rossi looked thoughtful and Emily and Luke shared a look like a theory was forming. Tara leaned forward as if she was intrigued while Matt and JJ both looked uncomfortable.

“Brave woman,” Spencer declared. There was a sense of satisfaction that came with his words cracking through the silence. JJ raised an eyebrow. “Not the cheating part, but the speaking out part. That can’t have been easy.”

“She got death threats, rape threats, the works,” you shook your head, “no one deserves that.”

“Could that be a motive?” Rossi asked slowly. No one said anything; the idea was too horrible to contemplate.


	4. Chapter 4

The task force set up to investigate the mass grave was based at the headquarters of the local police department. JJ, Luke and Rossi were being sent off to examine the crime scene where a team was working around the clock to make IDs and collect evidence.

“Shouldn’t Y/N come with us?” JJ suggested, eyes flicking between you and Spencer “Hit the ground running so to speak.” You bit back a snort, for a profiler you expected her to be subtler.

“They’ll be plenty of opportunity for that,” Emily said, “Matt can you head down to the ME and act as our main point of contact there? The rest of us are going to go through the witness statements and re-interview Peter de Marco and Imelda Gonzalez, Chrissy’s best friend. She knew Chrissy best, drove her to AA meetings and was at least aware of the Idaho trips but not what the purpose was.”

JJ shot Spencer an apologetic look that made you roll your eyes, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Spencer.

“I didn’t ask her to say that,” he mumbled Emily made her way to the lead detective and the agent from the Seattle field office.

“It’s fine,” you said coolly, “as long as it doesn’t happen again.” You didn’t give Spencer a chance to respond before striding up to Emily to be introduced.

“Good to have you here,” Detective Rivera said, “we’re not quite sure what to make of all this. I’ve been a police officer for twenty years and I’ve never come across anything like this here.”

“You were the lead on the Chrissy Tennant case too?” you asked Rivera and she nodded, lips pressed together, “I’m sorry it ended this way.”

“Imelda called the police department every week for four years asking for updates.” Rivera nodded to Agent Bright, “I know she did the same to the FBI once the case was handed to them. It broke her. I’m sorry we couldn’t bring her friend back alive but we can at least see justice be done.”

“The boyfriend got here this morning and I’ve had officers going over the timeline and her friend arrived just before you did,” explained Bright, “You guys are set up in the conference room and we’ve provided you with a map of the area. I’ve sent out a dog team just to make sure there isn’t more than one grave out there.”

“Let’s hope not,” said Emily, “Tara and I will take the boyfriend, Y/N and Spencer will take Imelda.”

“Sorry,” you muttered as you and Spencer made your way down the hall to the interview room. You didn’t want to feel frustrated going in to talk to a woman who had just found out her friend had been murdered after being missing for years. . You stopped and took several deep breaths while you called up the original interview transcript on your phone. 

“I didn’t tell JJ to interfere,” Spencer stated as he came to a halt next to you, his arms folded over his chest, “she’s just protective. I’m not trying to sabotage you or-“

“I said it’s fine as long as it doesn’t happen again,” you said, keeping your tone as even as you could. “Now what’s the play here?” For a moment Spencer just stood there, lips pressed together and eyes narrowed as if he was trying to decide whether he should argue his point. You raised an eyebrow in response, teeth clenched. “There’s a woman in there who has spent four years hoping her friend will come back home and has just found out that’s never going to happen. We can’t go and speak to her like this.”

“I agree,” said Spencer, “She’s probably had to go over the last time she saw Chrissy countless times and that can often reinforce incorrect memories or leave out details that might be important.”

“So we start with more general questions about their friendship and what Chrissy was doing in the lead up to her disappearance,” you added. Spencer nodded.

Imelda’s face was tear stained, her eyes puffy and red. You heart ached as soon as you sat down opposite her.

“Imelda? I’m SSA Y/N and this is SSA Dr Spencer Reid from the FBI. We’re so sorry for your loss.”

“I thought she’d come back.” Imelda’s voice was quiet and raspy and she didn’t really look at either you or Spencer as she spoke. 

“She’s in shock,” Spencer murmured and you had a to bite back a ‘no shit Sherlock’. Instead you leaned forward, drawing Imelda’s attention, even if it was a little unfocused.

“Imelda, are you okay to talk to us about Chrissy? It would really help us find out who did this to her.”

Imelda blinked, straightening a little, almost like she had woken up from a dream. You glanced at Spencer, who smiled approvingly and then, as you both registered it, the smile faded and he turned back to Imelda.

“How long have you known Chrissy for?” he asked.

“Since we were about eighteen,” Imelda sniffed, “Chrissy moved across the country to go to college here and didn’t know anyone so I kind of took her under my wing.”

“That was really kind of you,” you smiled, “Chrissy wasn’t in contact with her family?”

“She hated them.” Imelda looked down at her hands, balled into fists. “We were her family, me and Peter.”

“Do you know why they fell out?” Spencer asked. Imelda bit her lip and shook her head but your gut told you something else was going on. Judging by the sideways glance that Spencer gave you he felt the same. Was he going to push it? “We had a little trouble tracking her family down,” Spencer lied, “what do you know about them?”

“Only what Chrissy told me,” Imelda shrugged, “they were religious, really religious. Her Mom was really strict and she brought up Chrissy and her sisters to be super traditional wives and mothers. Her parents didn’t want her even going to college, she had to run away to get here.”

“That’s a hard environment to grow up in,” you said, “Chrissy must have rebelled as a teenager.”

“Anything other than going to prayer groups and church was considered rebelling,” Imelda said, fresh tears falling down her cheeks, “Chrissy told me once that she went to the library with a couple of friends once and her mother beat her when she got home, just because she read _Lord of the Rings_ and hung out with girls that weren’t Christian enough. She just wanted to be free.”

“So she came here to escape,” Spencer said, “and it sounds like you and Peter made her really happy. Given how she grew up I bet Chrissy treasured that.”

Imelda cried harder but nodded, half choking out a thank you to Spencer who took her hand and squeezed it gently. You could tell from his facial expression that he meant every word.

* * *

“We’ll need to bring her back in at some point,” Spencer said once the pair of you had left Imelda with a motherly looking officer, “but there’s a danger Imelda will shut down. We need to look into Chrissy’s relationship with her family, particularly her mother.” You nodded.

“She was hiding something before she deflected with the stuff about the physical abuse.”

“Good catch,” Spencer said and you smiled brightly for a moment before reining it in and giving a small nod and shrug. “So what would a fundamentalist mother think is worse than her daughter hanging out at the library with friends when that was enough to apparently beat her?”

Eight of the fourteen women had been ID’d by the time you and Spencer got back to the conference room. Matt was still with the ME but so far every COD was gunshot though some were just one and others had been shot multiple times.

“Some of our vics had their jewellery still on them, Chrissy had her wallet and there’s no sign of sexual assault though its hard to be certain with the older vics,” Matt said on speaker, “they weren’t buried with any care but I spoke to JJ a few minutes ago and that hole is pretty deep.”

“Thanks Matt, keep us posted when the new IDs come in,” said Emily, hanging up.

“So we know our unsub didn’t want them to be found and they aren’t sexually motivated killings,” said Rossi, “does this feel mission based to anyone else?”

“Could be a moral crusader,” said Spencer, “Chrissy grew up in a very religious family and ran away from them. The unsub could hold a similar ideology and see these women as sinners. Meredith started a relationship with a man who was engaged, Chrissy left a god fearing home. What about our other victims?”

“Garcia’s been running back ground checks,” said Tara, “and speak of the angel. Garcia what have you got for us?”

“Okay my knights in shining Kevlar I have been digging and we’ve got a mixed bag in the secrets department. Firstly Dr Fatima Aden, she’s an all round model citizen. She and her husband were highly regarded in her community, as well as her GP work she went into school and youth groups to teach kids about taking care of their mental health and she volunteered at a community hospital that gave free medical care to the homeless. On top of that she ran marathons for charity. The woman was in line for sainthood.”

“So not a sinner,” Rossi frowned. Spencer’s shoulders sagged, it had felt right. He couldn’t put his finger on it but he knew the killer was driven by ideology and there had to have been a reason these women were picked.

“The only skeleton in her closet is she was divorced but it seems amicable. The whole process was really quick and there was very little paperwork. Ex-hubby lives in Australia as of six weeks after the papers were signed. He and Fatima had no contact after that.”

“So he’s not our unsub, what about the other women?” you asked.

“Amy Villiers was a twenty-eight year old homeless woman. Spent the decade before her death in and out of rehab for a heroin addiction. She came from a violent home and there was a warrant out for her arrest at the time of her disappearance and before you ask, she stabbed her dealer boyfriend with a broken bottle. He survived but they had to amputate his arm because the damage was so bad.”

“Definitely counts as a sinner,” you mused. Spencer looked at you in surprise. Deep down he knew he shouldn’t be shocked; the pair of you were operating on the same wavelength while interviewing Imelda but Spencer just expected you to fight him.

Oh god he was projecting. He was projecting so much. 

The all too familiar sense of guilt gnawed at him. He was in defensive mode whenever the two of you were together so he just assumed you were too. It was unfair, he couldn’t imagine how difficult it was to accept your dream job and then realise that the soulmate you didn’t want was standing in the way of you and that dream.

His own life was a shambles it wasn’t right to do that to you too. But at the same time Spencer found it so difficult to look at you or talk to you. Every instinct inside him screamed not to get close.

 _That’s the trauma_ , the snide voice in his brain (that definitely, 100% did not sound like Cat) hissed at him, _you’re so broken and messed up that you can’t be around normal people anymore. Especially them._

“Spencer? Did you hear any of that?” Emily looked at him in concern. Actually as he looked around everyone was staring at him with worried expressions, even you. Spencer blinked.

“Trauma,” he murmured, “ sorry I was miles away. I was just thinking.”

“About trauma?” Rossi asked.

“Imelda’s hiding something about Chrissy’s past but spoke to us freely about the physical abuse her mother inflicted. Meredith’s relationship came out of a broken engagement and her being ostracised. Amy lived on the fringes of society and inflicted a brutal attack on her boyfriend. What about the other three?”

“Melanie Charpentier has been seeing a shrink for fifteen years, and the other two who have just been ID’d are actually twins Peyton and Carmen Cross. They’re twenty-one but they don’t have social media accounts, they dropped out of high school, Peyton works at a cash and carry in town and Carmen has never held down a steady job and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a cell phone. A few years ago Peyton was hospitalised due to a suspected suicide attempt. They lived almost completely isolated from the world.”

“That’s a lot of trauma,” Tara nodded, “you think there’s a connection?”

“There has to be,” said Spencer. “What twenty-one year old lives like that?”

“We’re missing something,” said Emily, “we need to know everything about every single woman in that grave and we need to find it fast.”


	5. Chapter 5

After four days the teams had IDs for all the bodies in the grave, a rough timeline for when they went missing and when they died and contact details for next of kin.

“I know it’s protocol but do we have to inform Chrissy’s parents?” you asked Prentiss. She fixed you with a frown but you continued. “They were estranged and Chrissy clearly felt unsafe. They could be involved somehow…”

“It’s unlikely,” Emily said, “but if they are its more reason to bring them in.”

You nodded. It made sense from an investigator’s point of view but you had become weirdly protective over the dead woman. Imelda had come to the station everyday since you and Spencer had interviewed her initially, sitting in the waiting room for hours, hoping for any news. Every time you saw her she looked more and more tired and yet also more determined. She had steel in her veins.

As you and Emily spoke you could see her down the hallway. Spencer was there too, sitting awkwardly in the uncomfortable plastic seating, head tilted as Imelda spoke. There was a small smile on her face, he’d probably asked about Chrissy. 

“He’s a good man,” Emily said, breaking your reverie. You blinked but before you could ask for clarity she continued. “I know he told you about Cat Adams and I know that must seem horrifying. It _was_ horrifying, not just what Spencer did but how Cat used the soulmate bond, how she almost killed Diana and the entire team.”

“Entire team?”

“She lured us into a trap. The house where she had an accomplice keep Diana was rigged with explosives. The plan was to kill us all and let Spencer live with the knowledge that everyone he loved was dead.”

You couldn’t summon up a response to that. You could barely process what Emily was saying. Cat Adams was a cancerous human being, no doubt about that. When you’d read over her files the standout connection was how utterly she destroyed anyone she came in contact with, not just her targets but all her associates too. The number of murders and suicides in her cell block had increased steadily the longer she had been incarcerated and she never left any accomplices alive. A road of bodies and broken people led straight to Cat.

Realistically you knew no one could have gone through what Spencer did and not want vengeance and even though it was unprofessional on every level everyone could agree that the world was better off with Cat dead. It didn’t change the fact you had a fundamental, borderline spiritual connection with a killer though.

So did Spencer and he knew that from the moment he met her. Before he met her even. How could you judge him for that?

You rubbed your eyes. You and Spencer were the same in a warped way.

“I…I’m trying not to judge,” you told Emily. “It’s hard though. Not because I can’t understand why he did it but because I _can_. Does that make sense?”

“Not really,” Emily smiled at you, a hint of sadness behind her eyes, “but in my experience the soulmate bond rarely does.”

You couldn’t argue with that. Turning around you saw Spencer and Imelda both stand and Spencer patted her on the shoulder, awkwardly. Imelda nodded and wiped her eyes before walking away.

“She holding up okay?” you asked as Spencer made his way towards you. He gave a small shrug.

“She’s devastated but she did give me a lead of sorts,” said Spencer. Wordlessly you pulled out your phone and dialled Garcia.

“The seer of Quantico is in and in tune with the universe my acolytes. What wisdom do you need me to bestow?”

Biting you lip you stifled a chuckle. That was never going to get old. Based on the smiles tugging at Spencer and Emily’s lips, it was well appreciated; a spark of light in the darkness.

“I’ve been talking to Imelda. She’s still cagy about Chrissy and her parents but I think there may have been some connection to the church they worshipped at. Chrissy apparently mentioned that the pastor there was heavily involved in the lives of the parishioners, particularly the kids.”

“That’s not unusual,” Emily said with a frown.

“It’s not but Imelda hinted that Chrissy found the whole thing uncomfortable,” said Spencer.

“And if we follow the sinner angle then the Pastor would be a good place to start,” you added. You and Spencer shared a look briefly, one you couldn’t articulate before Garcia spoke and diverted your attention.

“Okay the family worshipped at The Church of the Holy Bond.”

You groaned. Of course they fucking did.

“Am I missing something?” Emily asked.

“Going by the name I’m guessing they were part of a Christian sect that valorise the soulmate bond?” Spencer guessed. You nodded.

“Those places are breeding grounds for abuse,” you said, “it’s a perversion of faith that twists biblical passages to try and enforce an archaic version of traditional values. They are awful places to be a woman or queer.”

“They’re very fringe,” said Spencer, “not endorsed by the Vatican or the administration of any denomination, largely unregulated and as a rule very insular.”

“Sounds like a cult,” said Emily.

“They have a lot in common with cults: Charismatic leaders, isolating members from the outside world and exercising a ridiculous amount of control over people’s daily lives,” you said.

“The Church of the Sacred Bond pretty much ticks all those boxes,” said Garcia, “the Bureau has some of the senior leaders on watch lists. In 2010 there was an investigation into child abuse at a branch in North Carolina but they couldn’t get anyone to talk and so the case fell apart. Chrissy’s father appears to be well established in their home parish in New Jersey. The Pastor is one Harold Byers, 56, unmarried and he has a conviction for assault, but he never served any time.”

“Why?”

“No idea! The details are super murky. I think Byers has friends in the police. Several local officers are members of the church.”

“Of course they are,” you couldn’t keep the venom out of your voice.

“Garcia dig deeper and call us back,” Emily said. She turned to you once she’d hung up. “Are we going to have a problem here?”

“No.” It came out more sullen than you meant and you tried to straighten up as she kept her stern gaze on you. “I’m going to go back through the other vics’ files. See if there’s a religious connection there.” 

You didn’t give either of them a chance to respond and Emily and Spencer could only watch in silence as you retreated down the hall. Spencer felt himself relax a little as you left, previously unaware of the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders.

“They feel this keenly,” Emily said, turning back to the piles of papers. “Not that I can blame them, it’s a tough one.”

“Also the recurring theme of the soul mate bond,” said Spencer with a frown, “Chrissy escaped a Church that venerated it, Meredith broke a couple’s soulmate bond. Perhaps that’s the connection.”

Emily grimaced as her gaze lingered over the crime scene photos.

“Two instances are a coincidence,” she said slowly.

“Then we need to see if there are others,” Spencer urged. Emily shook her head, not rejecting the idea, it was more a gesture of frustration. Cognitively Spencer understood. Crimes involving the soulmate bond were harder.

It wasn’t just that they were harder to work or harder for the team emotionally. They were harder to prosecute. You had been right to be angry as the legal loopholes afforded to those that harmed their soulmates. It was a free pass to commit heinous acts. Spencer of all people knew that. He’d gotten to the point where the flashbacks of Cat’s murder didn’t send him into a spiral, screaming and clawing at himself to make it stop, but he still recognised how repugnant it had been.

He hadn’t felt anything afterwards. That was what had frightened him most. His therapist said it was shock and the feelings had definitely come crashing down on him hours afterwards but initially it had just been white noise. 

Spencer had told the investigators as much, and the committee and the senior officials at the FBI. He had been too tired to hide any of it. Once his mother was rescued, he hadn’t even cared if he went back to prison. He was guilty this time so it was where he belonged.

Despite all of that they’d cleared him, sealed the file and redacted every piece of public information about Cat. It was almost like she’d never existed. Spencer had killed her but the FBI had obliterated her. For a little while he could pretend that nothing had happened. JJ had seen the whole thing happen and they hadn’t spoken about it since. The rest of the team were removed from the incident and found denial easy. Spencer had found it easy too until it wasn’t. 

“Where’d you go?” Emily asked softly. Spencer shrugged.

“Cat,” he said, not reacting to her flinch. “I know more than anyone that this is hard but we can’t dismiss a line of investigation just because it makes us uncomfortable.” Emily straightened up, subtly moving into a defensive stance, her mouth twisted.

“Okay, you and Y/N explore the soulmate angle. Quietly.”

“I don’t think-“

“Work on this together or not at all,” said Emily, “obviously this is something of an area of expertise for them.”

You looked surprised when Spencer cautiously knocked on the door of the file room, hovering there for a moment as he tried to work out what to say. You spoke instead.

“No religious connection so far. It’s a dead end.”

“I raised the elephant in the room with Emily,” Spencer said, rubbing the back of his neck, “the soulmate bond.” You sighed, shoving the files back in the cabinet and slamming it shut. 

“She said no right?”

“Actually she said we could work that angle together if we’re discrete about it.”

“Seriously? How did you pull that off?”

“I have to put my trauma to good use,” Spencer shrugged and the impressed look died in your eyes, leaving a sour taste of regret in Spencer’s mouth. “Uh, anyway we should ask the ME to go through the medical reports and whether they had a mark, a countdown or neither. Work our way from there.”

“Great, okay, yeah,” you said and hurried out. Spencer struggled to catch up, despite his stride being far longer than yours. It was like there was electricity buzzing through you. Your words came out at double speed as you phoned Matt and asked him to forward your request to the ME. 

“That would be…okay yeah hold on a sec Matt I’ll put you speaker, go ahead.”

“So the ME noticed something strange about Chrissy during the exam and we didn’t know what to make of it until you called.”

“Strange? Strange how?”

Were your eyes shining? Spencer wondered. You looked like you wanted to reach into the phone and shake Matt until he gave you the answers.

“She’s had several skin grafts. Skin taken from her thighs to be grafted elsewhere.”

“Her arm?” you guessed. “Idaho. Fucking Idaho. I should have known. God I’m so stupid!”

“How did you- you know what never mind…” said Matt. “Yeah it was grafted onto her left arm.”

“Sorry I’m confused,” Spencer interrupted, “did she have a soulmate mark or not?”

You laughed and Spencer swore he could feel Matt’s shock radiate from the phone.

“I’m guessing she did and she didn’t” you chuckled.


	6. Chapter 6

“Okay you’re going to have to spell it out for me and the ME,” Matt sighed down the phone, “It’s impossible for someone to both have and not have a soulmate mark. What’s the deal with Chrissy’s skingraft and how does that link to her trips to Idaho?”

“The Waycaster Clinic is in Idaho,” you said. You wanted to burst with the realisation and deflated slightly when Spencer just looked at you blankly and the line crackled suggesting Matt looked the same on his end. “The Waycaster Clinic, run by Dr Anabel Waycaster? The only surgeon to ever successfully remove a person’s soulmate mark?”

“No that’s impossible,” said Matt, “you can’t get rid of soulmate marks. If you lose your arm the mark appears somewhere else. Same if the skin gets scarred or damaged in some way.”

“Dr Waycaster did it. It’s a very involved process that requires multiple grafts and experimental drugs. It takes years. That’s why Chrissy was making frequent visits. You spend years on a strict drug regimen and diet to prepare your body. Then there are skin treatments for another year or so then they start the grafts.”

“All that to get rid of the mark?” The horror was evident in Matt’s voice and you felt yourself deflate further. You couldn’t look at Spencer though you were intrigued. Something in your gut told you he wouldn’t feel the same but you didn’t want to risk it though you didn’t know why.

“Okay well we have our pattern then,” Spencer said. “You were right Y/N, it’s about the soulmate bond.”

“The rejection of the soulmate bond,” you said, “Chrissy tried to erase her mark. Meredith broke someone else’s soulmate bond. What’s the betting that the boyfriend that Amy Villiers attacked was her soulmate?”

“Dr Aden was divorced, her ex-husband could have been her soulmate,” said Spencer. Then you looked at him. His arms were folded and he was frowning but it was a look of concentration.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Matt said quickly, “Just in case we’re…”

Projecting? You gripped the phone tighter, teeth clenched to prevent the snappy retort that was bubbling up inside you.

“Matt get the ME to give us a list of all the vics that have marks or countdowns and those that don’t. We’ll need photographs too,” Spencer said. Before Matt could protest Spencer reached out and jabbed the button on your phone to hang up. You looked at him, mouth agape.

“We’re going to have a hard time arguing this,” he warned. “No one wants to touch one case involving the bond. We’ve got fourteen victims targeted because of it, once word gets out this won’t just turn into a media circus, it will be chaos on a whole other level.”

“We can’t ignore it!” you argued. You chucked the phone down on the table with such force it skidded across. You clasped the back of one of the chairs, breathing through your nose and screwing your eyes shut. All Chrissy wanted was to be free and she’d been killed because of it.

“Did you try to go to the Waycaster Clinic?” Spencer asked softly. When you opened your eyes he was holding a tissue. Shit, you hadn’t even registered the sting of hot tears. You wiped them away as quickly as you could and cleared your throat.

“It costs about sixty grand or so,” you said, “there’s no way I could afford that.”

“But if you could?” Spencer asked. You bit your lip. “If I’d known about it I would have gone. Pretty sure I could have sold a couple of my less necessary organs.”

You choked out a laugh, never expecting something like that to come out of Spencer’s mouth. His mouth twisted into a lopsided grin that soften as you dabbed your eyes again.

“I mean it, 100%. I know what people think. People like Matt, but he lucked out. It really is a gift for him rather than a…”

He frowned, lips parted as he scrambled for the word. You could see in the tension in his expression how much he hated being lost for words.

“A burden?” You answered slowly, your voice soft. “Or a challenge? It’s okay, you can say it. I get it.” Now it was Spencer’s turn to laugh.

“I know, I think you might be the only person who does. Isn’t that weird?”

No it wasn’t. It seemed to point to everything the pair of you were actively struggling against. It wasn’t weird it was proof that everyone was right, that the fairytale was real and you were subject to the laws of the universe just like anyone else.

You let out a shuddering breath.

“So what now?” You asked. Emily would want more and if the rest of the team was like Matt they would be reluctant to pull at these threads. It was down to you and Spencer. 

“Dr Aden’s husband is still in town, we should reinterview him,” said Spencer, “and we should find out if you’re right about Amy’s boyfriend being her soulmate. If we confirm those two things I think we have enough to prove that’s the pattern. By then we should have the info from Matt and we can work from there.”

“If our unsub is targeting people who reject the soulmate bond,” you said slowly, “then how the hell is he finding them? Chrissy was super careful about her trips to Idaho. We couldn’t work out where she had gone and we have Garcia digging for us.”

Spencer hesitated and for a moment he got a faraway look in his eye like he was remembering something. It felt intrusive to ask what was wrong so for a moment something hung in the air between you.

“Let’s take it one step at a time,” Spencer said eventually, hands clasped together. “We prove that’s why these people are being targeted and then we find out how.”

* * *

Spencer left you to go through the old police reports on Amy’s arrest to see whether her boyfriend was her soulmate. he figured you could use some quiet time alone to decompress. You’d only worked together less than two weeks and from your file you were clearly a competent agent with a noted ability to stay calm in high stress situations. But this was different, this case called up a lot of personal demons for you and Spencer knew how difficult it could be to keep a lid on that.

 _They’re my demons too_ , he thought and brushed it aside almost instantly.

Spencer instructed local PD to call Dr Aden’s husband back in. He was dealing with some memorial arrangements but promised to come in first thing tomorrow. Spencer was glad, as much as he hated to admit it he couldn’t face the idea of talking to the man alone. 

It was ridiculous, his job was to look at the most intimate and private parts of people’s lives and to see them on the days they were experiencing (or committing) the worst tragedies imaginable. It wasn’t easy and his heart ached for people but it was also fuel to go out and catch the unsub. He wanted to that here too of course but the idea of sitting down with a man and picking apart the most significant, spiritual aspect of his life just made Spencer feel dirty.

Maybe he’d let you take the lead. this whole thing was clearly your wheelhouse. Your knowledge of the clinic as well as the Meredith Bolton-Smythe controversy and the Church of the Sacred Bond suggested that soulmates were something of a special interest with you. Spencer had thought about probing further when he asked you about the clinic but you had gotten too upset for him to risk it.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He blinked, Tara stood beside him, a gentle smile on her face. “You were pretty far away there.”

“Sorry I was just thinking…”

“Wanna share?” Tara held up her hands as Spencer’s face changed, “no pressure. You just look like you could use a sounding board.”

“Emily has paired Y/N and I up to look at a new angle,” Spencer tried to keep his voice as casual as possible, “its…interesting.”

Tara smiled at him but it was tinged with sadness. For the first time since they’d met Spencer realised he didn’t know if Tara had a mark or not. She always wore long sleeves and she never mentioned it. In fact thinking about it now, Tara had always avoided the topic and sidestepped any questions. She also never asked them of others.

“Whatever you’re feeling, however contradictory or uncomfortable, you need to let yourself feel it Spencer,” Tara said softly, “this is a unique situation and this case…maybe its a good thing that the first case you work together involves the soulmate bond,” Spencer raised an eyebrow. “Emily mentioned it and for what it’s worth I think you guys are right. It’s significant and honestly righty now it’s the only thing tying the vics together.”

“Thanks Tara.”

She nodded and squeezed his arm as his phone trilled, Garcia’s name flashing up.

“Hey crime fighters. Our newest superhero asked me to see if there’s any way to tie Chrissy to a Waycaster clinic in Idaho?”

“You did right?” said Tara, flashing Spencer a smile.

“Of course I did, you know who I am right. I got Chrissy on CCTV from the bank opposite the clinic.”

“Is this Chrissy? Did we confirm the Waycaster connection?” you half-ran down the corridor towards them, a file and a mass of papers under your arms.

“Chrissy was a patient,” Spencer nodded. “What did you find?”

“Amy’s boyfriend was her soulmate and I went over the case file again and I’m pretty sure she attacked him in self-defence. He has a long rap sheet mostly made up of violence against women. The officers investigating completely dismissed that though.”

Spencer thought back on Tara’s words. Let yourself feel. He felt angry and he felt frustrated that a woman in fear of her life had been ignored because her soulmate was the one being violent so it didn’t count. You listed all the times Amy had tried to leave, hiding in shelter’s and refuges, doing anything and everything to scrape together money to leave and at every turn she was stopped or sold out.

Damn right he felt angry and the fact that feeling that way apparently put him in the minority made him angrier still.

Spencer saw that same anger in your eyes as you finished.

“It’s definitely a link,” you said. “There’s no denying it now.”

“We need to start building a profile,” nodded Tara, “he’s mission driven which means that people might still be in danger.”

They’d also disrupted the unsub’s dumpsite so if he was still fulfilling his mission he would need somewhere else to dispose of his victims. Perhaps he already had. A knot began to form in Spencer’s stomach. They should ask local PD to canvas the entire forest for further graves.

“Will he revisit?” you asked. “Some offenders do that right? Go back to their dumpsites.”

“Typically unsubs that do that want to relive the kill or interact with the body somehow,” said Tara. “My gut says once the unsub is done with them he leaves them.”

“He hates them,” Spencer said slowly, “he hates that they’ve rejected something he sees as sacred. That’s why he just shoots them execution style and dumps them in the same place. He’s efficient, methodical and probably full of rage. I’m guessing the stressor was traumatic, the fracturing of his own soulmate bond maybe? Or even the lack of a bond altogether. He could be driven by jealousy, anger at people he sees as squandering what he can’t have?”

Your hand went to your arm absentmindedly. Spencer tried not to stare but you followed his gaze. You dropped your hand.

“That sounds like a profile,” you said, “now what do we do?”


	7. Chapter 7

Sleep came in short bursts interspersed with hours staring at the ceiling or pacing your hotel room. Your skin prickled with a mixture of fear and determination, every minute spent trying to sleep was another minute that the unsub was out there praying on people.

_“He hates them,” Spencer said slowly, “he hates that they’ve rejected something he sees as sacred. That’s why he just shoots them execution style and dumps them in the same place. He’s efficient, methodical and probably full of rage. I’m guessing the stressor was traumatic, the fracturing of his own soulmate bond maybe? Or even the lack of a bond altogether. He could be driven by jealousy, anger at people he sees as squandering what he can’t have?”_

He was targeting people like you. The realisation had swept over you as Spencer had spoken. Had he noticed? You weren’t sure whether you wanted that or not. On the one hand you really wanted someone to tell you that everything was going to be okay and on the other hand it felt so ridiculous. Of course everything wasn’t okay. You had fourteen dead women who had only wanted to live their lives. 

Sighing, you kicked off the sheets and headed out to the balcony. Maybe the cool night air would soothe you enough that you could sleep. The last thing you wanted was to be a zombie when you spoke to the victim’s husband the next day.

A cool breeze rustled the leaves of the trees out the back of the hotel. There was too much light pollution to see most of the stars but one or two winked down at you.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” You started at the sound of Spencer’s voice. You hadn’t realised he was in the room next to yours. He sat crossed legged on one of the rickety chairs, a thick blanket draped round his shoulders and a textbook on his lap.

“Nope,” you sighed, leaning against the railing. “He’s out there somewhere, the unsub, doing god knows knows what. I’ve never felt so aware of that before.”

“Have you ever worked a case where you’ve had such…” Spencer trailed off, frowning. He looked like he was struggling to find the words. It surprised you, from everything you had seen of him so far Spencer Reid didn’t seem the type to run out of things to say. “Have you ever worked a case where you’ve felt such a kinship to the victims?” he said slowly. You bit your lip, your gaze dropping to the ground.

“No,” you said finally, looking up. Spencer visibly relaxed, perhaps he’s been worried about offending you. It was a sweet thought. “I’ve never felt like this before. It’s draining.”

“But also motivating.” Spencer closed the book and rose from his seat to stand closer to the shared railing between the balconies. He hugged the blanket tighter around his shoulders and close up you could see him shiver slightly.

“About twelve years ago I worked a case where the unsub was a kid that reminded me of myself when I was his age,” Spencer explained, “he was just as much a victim as the people he killed. I…projected my own insecurities onto him, my own fears and my own traumatic experiences.”

“What happened?”

“I saved him. I lied to Hotch, our old Unit Chief, about what I thought he would do next so when he turned up at the Police Station I was able to block another agent from taking a shot at him and I got him to surrender peacefully.”

You let out a low whistle. That couldn’t have gone down well. You were amazed a stunt like that didn’t result in him getting kicked out of the Bureau let alone the BAU.

“Yeah Hotch was pissed,” Spencer rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m still glad I did it though. I know it’s not the same thing. You see some of yourself in the victims not the unsub. That’s…better. I mean your superior might still question your judgement-“

“Is this a pep talk?” you laughed. Spencer shook his head, struggling to stop his mouth twisting into a smile. “Good ‘cause if it were it would be a bad one.”

“Hey! No it’s not a pep talk. I just thought you should know you aren’t alone in feeling this way.”

You smiled and he returned it and some of the anxiety that had been clawing at you eased.

“Do you?” you asked softly. “Identify with the victims here I mean?” Spencer tilted his head for a moment. The question didn’t seem to offend him. You supposed that if nothing else, his experiences at least meant that he was more open to the idea of rejecting the soulmate bond. You wondered who his first soulmate had been. Obviously they had died. That was the only way that a new bond could be formed. Some people gained their countdowns in later life, though it was rarer than being born with one. The only way to get a second soulmate though was for the first one to die. Death was the only thing that could break the bond.

“I guess I never thought of myself as someone who rejected the soulmate bond,” Spencer answered slowly. He stared off into the distance, squinting up at the few stars you could both see. “Actually growing up I always thought it was a wonderful thing. I was excited to meet my soulmate. My childhood and teenage years were…tough. The idea of there being someone out there who was going to love me in such a special way was the only thing that kept me going sometimes.”

So not like the victims at all you mused, not like you. For your whole life the numbers on your arm had felt like a punishment, something tying you up and stopping you from living life how you wanted.

“Was it always me?”” Spencer asked quietly. You nodded and for a moment neither of you said anything. It was too dark to make out Spencer’s expression and when he spoke you couldn’t read his tone either.

“That means my first two bonds…were never meant to last?”

“Not necessarily,” you said quickly. Cat Adams may have been a curse but something told you Spencer had loved his first soulmate deeply. “The bond could have been unreconciled if one of your bonds had…”

“Lasted.” After a pause Spencer turned back to you. “You know a lot about this stuff.”

“It’s…a passion of mine,” you confessed, “though I guess that’s a weird way of putting it. I felt like if I could learn as much as I could about the soulmate bond then maybe I could…find some way to deal with mine.” What you meant was find some way to break it but you didn’t want to say that, not to Spencer. He nodded again and for a little while the two of you just stood there, a heavy silence hanging over you.

Tiredness seeped into your vision. It was nearly 3am, you had a chance to catch a handful of hours of sleep before you headed back to the station. You bid Spencer a sleepy goodnight and headed back to your room, leaving him on the balcony.

***

Spencer downed his third coffee of the morning in about two gulps after you and he interviewed Dr Aden’s husband. He confirmed your suspicions. Fatima had divorced her soulmate husband to be with him. Apparently it had been an amicable split. They were still friends despite him moving across the world and had even sent gifts for their unborn baby.

“You didn’t find that odd?” Spencer had asked. Neil, a stocky man in his thirties, had shook his head, eyes brimming with tears.

“Fatima always said that the universe got it wrong. Her soulmate was her best friend but I was the person she wanted to spend her life with, have children with. She used to say that her heart told her that so how could it be wrong? It was how the universe chose to communicate.” He began to sob, body convulsing with tears. Spencer had to look away, the grief was palpable and he couldn’t bear it.

You had taken him to a quiet room elsewhere in the building as Spencer had added his testimony to the crime board. Tara had been doing some digging and the architect victim Melanie Charpentier ran the local chapter of a support group for those unhappy with their soulmate bonds.

“She was also part of a network that helped women leave their abusive partners,” Tara explained, eyeing the now empty coffee cup that Spencer tossed in the bin. “Her husband was a lawyer and apparently he specialised in securing divorces between soulmates.”

“That’s a tough line of work,” Spencer sighed, “So that just leaves the twins.”

“I have a theory about that,” you appeared in the doorway, “Neil Aden’s sister has picked him up.”

“How is he?” Tara asked.

“To put it mildly: a total wreck. His entire world has shattered. His sister mentioned that he’s being sleeping in the nursery he and Fatima built for their daughter.”

Spencer felt his eyes begin to sting. It was so unjust. He took a steadying breath, hoping (but not really believing) you and Tara hadn’t noticed.

“What’s your theory about the twins?”

“Unreconciled bond. It came to me when we were talking last night.”

Tara glanced between the two of you and for a moment Spencer steeled himself, expecting a probing question.

“Unreconciled bond? Those are pretty rare aren’t they?” she asked. Spencer relaxed. To Spencer you appeared to be in your element. He wondered briefly if this was how he looked before he launched into a complex explanation.

“They are. Broadly speaking an unreconciled bond is any soulmate bond that is disrupted in any way other than the death of one of the pair. It’s mostly commonly seen in blood relatives. A person’s countdown ends with the birth of a child or a sibling and they have a matching mark until suddenly one day the younger of the two develops a countdown.”

“Why the younger?” Tara asked.

“No idea, no one has ever discovered why it happens. There’s a theory that it’s something to do with being born with a mark. In very rare occasions, like twenty times in the US in the past century, it’s occurred between soulmates that aren’t related. Again, no one knows why but-“ you glanced at Spencer as you spoke, “it usually occurs when a person’s soulmate already has a pre-existing bond.”

“So why do you think that’s what happened with the twins?” Tara asked.

“In 72% of cases where siblings have unreconciled bonds they have been twins. Identical twins are more likely to experience this than non-identical twins. It’s what’s led some to believe that there’s a complex genetic element to the bond. Either way it could be why the twins hid themselves away from the world.”

“I’ll call Garcia,” said Tara, “and Matt. Between us I’m sure we can figure it out.”

“Is that what could have happened with us?” Spencer asked after Tara left, “You could have been an Error?"

“Error is not an accepted term,” you said sharply. “Unreconciled Bond is the accurate way of expressing it.” Your face softened a little. “But yes. If either of your previous bonds hadn’t been broken then my countdown would have either ceased or just rundown.”

Alarm rose in Spencer. It was a horrifying thought. At least if the countdown had ceased you would have never known but if it hadn’t then your first day of work would have probably been more awkward than it had been.

_I could have been with Maeve and then this other person showed up, all signs pointing to me being their soulmate but they wouldn’t be mine._

It made his stomach turn, it was unnatural. Although considering how you felt you might have been relived. There would be no chance of you working together though. All your hard work to join the BAU gone.

“It’s really not the disaster that people paint it out to be,” you said gently. “The hard part is dealing with people’s treatment of you.” Spencer looked at you quizzically and you gave a small shrug. “I have a couple of friends with unreconciled bonds. They live perfectly happy, fulfilled lives.”

Spencer opened his mouth to speak but he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to challenge what you said or ask a question. He didn’t get the chance because Tara came rushing back in.

“Y/N got it 100%. The twins’ bond was Unreconciled. It’s official now, we have our unsub’s motive.”

“So the question is,” you turned to the board, “how does he find these people?”


	8. Chapter 8

“Our unsub is a white male in his early thirties to late forties,” you explained to the gathered officers, “he’s likely reserved, softly spoken and from the outside seems utterly average. His work history will consist of positions that were customer or client facing but unlikely to be managerial. He drives an American made car, is not in a relationship and has no children and around ten years ago switched careers to something more flexible time-wise or that requires travel across the state.”

“Sorry but how can you say that?” the detective asked.

“Our victims have very little in common demographically,” Spencer explained. You felt some of the anxiety ease as he spoke and the officers’ attention was directed off of you. “They don’t share a background or a routine and some of them were hyper vigilant about new people entering their lives. We suspect he stalks them for a while and to do this without being caught he’d have to blend in and be non-threatening. Then he has the social skills to get these women to let down their guards briefly enough for him to abduct and kill them.”

“Why?” the detective asked. “What’s driving him?” You and Spencer both took a deep breath, a look of apprehension flicking between the pair of you.

“The only thing all our victims have in common is that they rejected the soulmate bond in some way or facilitated others rejecting it.” You didn’t give the thick silence a chance to settle in the room. Shoulders squared, you kept talking matter-of-factly. “Some of our victims were very open about this, others kept it hidden. This tells us that our unsub is methodical and patient, waiting to find the right victim and then undertaking surveillance. He’s what we call a mission-orientated killer.”

“His mission to kill people he sees as violating the soulmate bond,” Spencer explained, “he may have suffered a loss or a rejection from his own soulmate or he could be driven by jealousy. Outwardly he keeps his composure but he’s raging. Instead of lashing out he’s funnelling that anger into his cause. The only way he will stop is if we catch him and he will likely go down fighting.”

A murmur travelled through the assembled officers and you and Spencer paused. Your skin prickled, anticipating questions or an argument.

“How do we catch this guy?” a woman at the back asked.

“We’ll give a press conference.”

“Won’t that create panic?”

“It’s vital our victim pool knows there’s a threat out there,” you said. “There aren’t exactly databases to help narrow down who could be at risk. It’s a very private thing for a lot of people so we need to get the word out.”

“Someone knows him,” Spencer explained, “we’re releasing a detailed timeline of the abductions and murders and appealing to the public for help.”

“In the meantime the city has granted funds for increased patrols,” you added.

You ran your hands through your hair as the officers got up and left. It felt like a waiting game, and a fruitless one at that.

“It feels like it all comes down to luck,” Spencer said as you headed to the small kitchenette to grab some coffee.

“We need someone to call in with a tip,” you sighed, “this guy is likely a loner though or at least doesn’t confide in anyone. There may not be anyone to notice his habits or routine.”

“At least any potential victims will be vigilant,” said Spencer, “and if we interfere with his mission he may slip up and then we can catch him.” He held out a mug of coffee to you.

“Is there any coffee in this or just sugar?” you asked with a grin. Spencer raised an eyebrow in response. You took a slip. It was terrible but just in the “police station coffee “way, not the “mountain of sugar the size of Everest” way. “It’s good.”

“It’s an affront to coffee,” said Spencer, “but weirdly I can never drink the good stuff on a case anymore. It has to be this or nothing.”

“Huh. I can’t drink coffee at all in my down time,” you said, “tea or cocoa only. Why is that?”

“Probably something to do with the sensory elements of memory,” said Spencer, “we associate the taste of bad coffee with our jobs so it doesn’t feel right to drink anything else when we’re working and when we’re not working we avoid it.”

“Then I hope I can stop drinking this soon,” you sighed. Spencer patted you on the arm awkwardly, causing you to look up in surprise.

“We’ll find him.” You felt like there was an _I promise_ left unspoken at the end of that. It wasn’t a promise he or anyone else could make but he wanted to. You could tell he wanted to promise because he wanted it to be true. “Listen, I don’t want to come across as overbearing or like I’m patronising or that I don’t think you’re capable or-“

“Spencer.”

“There’s a chance that the unsub has started following the investigation,” he said seriously, eyes boring into you. “I just…I’m not trying to insult you or your capabilities. I think we all need to be careful“

“Thank you,” you stared down into the coffee mug, your cheeks growing warm. “I know you mean well and it’s nice of you to look out for me.” You glanced up. You suddenly wanted to tell him he was a good person, goodness knows he must doubt that all the time. You wanted to will it to be true like Spencer willed the team to catch the unsub.

Then the image of Cat Adams appeared in your mind.

You drained the rest of your coffee as the team joined you.

“How’d it go?” Emily asked.

“Surprisingly well,” said Spencer, “honestly I thought the officers would give us more pushback.” You nodded, the image of Cat dissipating from your mind. It had been weird that no one had argued with you or tried to blame the victims. Maybe these guys were super professional or had been sent on some kind of mandatory training. Still you expected some resistance.

“No one said anything?” JJ tilted her head to the side, “that’s-“

“Statistically unlikely,” Spencer frowned.

“I was going to say weird,” said JJ. “It’s such an emotive topic.”

“Studies have shown that broadly speaking the reverence of the soulmate bond varies culturally but also regionally. The west coast is one of the areas of the US that is fractionally less devout for lack of a better word but occupation can also be a deciding factor. Cops, ministers and relationship counsellors are the three occupations that hold the bond in the highest regard.”

“So there should have been some reaction from at least one of the officers,” Tara said. 

“We could be over generalising,” said Matt, “we could be playing into our bias here. You said it was regional right?”

Spencer nodded but he couldn’t shake the feeling something was off. The hairs on the back of neck stood up and he wordlessly left the room to call up Garcia.

“Boy wonder hit me with those burning questions and I’ll burn you with some answers right back.”

“You were looking up local incidents that involved the soulmate bond right?” Spencer asked. Ahead of him in the hall a couple of officers were talking, heads bowed. Did they look worried or were his eyes playing tricks on him?

“Yeah I’m trying to identify potential victims. There’s not a lot, most of them ended up in that mass grave. There’s a local woman whose husband divorced her and she tried to burn their house down. All the victims have been women so far though and the husband seems the more likely target so-“

“Are there any connections with the local PD in any of the cases you’ve found?”

Garcia paused and all Spencer could hear was the soft click of keys. He gripped the phone tighter, not sure whether he wanted his hunch to pay off or not.

“No nothing, why?”

“It’s just-“

“Don’t lie to me Spencer,” Garcia warned, “if you’re stuck somewhere with dirty cops again then you need to tell me and then I need to call in the cavalry because I’m not there to shoot someone about to kill you this time.” On the last word her voice wavered and Spencer felt an ache in his chest.

“It’s nothing like that,” he said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. “We just got an odd reaction when we explained the unsub’s motive. Or an odd lack of reaction to be more exact.”

“Hmmm okay. I’m going to keep digging then. Stay safe or else!”

Spencer gave a low chuckle as the line went dead but the smile fell from his face as the two officers in the hall started towards him. Or to be exact one officer dragged the other, her face twisted into a grimace.

“Agent Reid right?” she looked at the other officer nervously. “I’m Lopez, this is Maguire. We were in your briefing this morning.”

“I remember. You were the one who asked how we’re going to catch him,” he said to Maguire and she shrank a little under his gaze.

“See the thing is agent,” Lopez said, a slight tremor to her voice. “Look we don’t want to get anyone in trouble…”

“He doesn’t even fit your profile anyway,” Maguire said hastily, “you’re looking for some office guy right or a travelling salesman or-“

“Who is he?” Spencer asked. The two officers looked at each other, faces sallow with fear. “It’s a cop isn’t it? As soon as we gave the profile every officer in that room thought of the same person. That’s why we got no reaction from you. Officers we need to know who he is.”

“Lamb,” said Lopez. “Sergeant Gerry Lamb. He was…let go ten years ago, just after we joined the force.”

“Let go?”

“He drove a squad car into the front of the station,” Maguire said, “because his wife left him for some other guy. It took about five officers to drag him from the car and he just kept raving and screaming. Then a week later he came back to collect his stuff and he was…normal. Like nothing had ever happened. It was scary.”

“His wife was his soulmate?”

“Yeah. He called her an abomination for going against God and the universe,” said Lopez. “Even before that he was low-key shitty to the women on the force but nothing overt, nothing you prove. He was very quiet, kept to himself mostly, he just had this subtle…vibe. When she left him, something snapped. It was like the wall came down.”

It didn’t match the profile exactly but the broad strokes were right. People skills and unassuming until the stressor event.

“I’ll need to speak to the Captain,” Spencer said.

“Please don’t tell him we told you,” begged Maguire, “everyone knows Lamb is dangerous but if they found out we snitched on him they’ll make our lives hell.”

“Your names won’t come up,” Spencer promised. “We have a technical analyst who should be able to dig up all the details we need.” The officers nodded and half sprinted away as Spencer got Garcia back on the line.

“I need everything you can get on former police Sergeant Gerry Lamb and I need an address for his ex-wife ASAP.” The women in the mass graves weren’t surrogates, that was definitely mission fulfilment but there was still a chance that Lamb would kill his ex as part of that mission.

“Our unsub?”

“Possibly.“

“Okay…Gerry Lamb, former husband of Eve Lamb…who died in a car accident last year.”

“Suspicious?”

“Not really. She had a head on collision with a drunk driver. Her new husband moved out East with their baby a short time afterwards.”

“We may need to warn them anyway,” said Spencer. The last thing he wanted was Lamb fleeing and killing an innocent man and his child, “can you track Lamb down?”

“His house was foreclosed on just before Eve died,” said Garcia, “he hasn’t being paying bills since then. Credit cards are all cancelled and he has no social media.”

“How is that possible? He must be living somewhere and we profiled that he’s functioning normally outside of killing people.”

“Leave it to me, I’ll turn over every stone twice.”

Spencer sprinted back down the hall, flinging the door open to the briefing room. The team’s faces were painted with varying degrees of shock and confusion.

“Reid what the-“

“The unsub’s a cop. Gerry Lamb. We have a name but he’s in the wind.”


	9. Chapter 9

Everything you read about Sergeant Gerry Lamb just drove home more and more that this guy was a nasty piece of work. You threw down the file in disgust. It turned out driving his car into the police station was just the tip of the iceberg. Tara and Garcia had spent the next day trawling through the guy’s online activity. If there was scummy right-wing forum or rabid hate page he hadn’t joined they hadn’t found it yet.

“So it appears that Lamb also used targeted online harassment as another outlet between the murders,” said Spencer running his finger down the page of his own copy. “He logged hundreds of hours sending abusive emails and twittering at people who he felt didn’t respect the soulmate bond.”

“Tweeting.”

“What?”

“It’s…never mind. I need to get a coffee or wash myself with bleach or something because just reading about this guy is exhausting and makes me feel dirty.”

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to venture into any of the communal areas here,” Spencer frowned and nodded at the window. Two officers were glaring at you from down the hall. Your stomach lurched with anxiety. To say local PD hadn’t taken the BAU’s focus on Lamb well was a massive understatement. Spencer hadn’t shared who told him about Lamb, you figured they were too frightened by the repercussions and judging by the looks of hatred the entire team had been getting that was sensible.

Tara strode down the hall, causing the cops to skulk away.

“Hey, I just got off the phone with Garcia. Eve Lamb’s widower and their baby are in protective custody. No word yet on where Lamb has been living but he’s an avid camper so she’s checking properties in the woods.”

“It makes sense that he would know the area being used as a dumpsite,” you said. “How’re Emily and Rossi getting on?”

“When I passed the Chief’s office I heard shouting. This guy could have killed officers and yet they still want to protect him,” said Tara. 

“Gotta love the Blue Wall of Silence,” you said, shaking your head. “If Lamb is our unsub then we have an uphill battle trying to catch him. Add to that the fact that our victims are unsympathetic…” Your throat tightened as you looked at the photos of the victims on the wall behind you. Corruption and macho bullshit was going to stop them from getting justice and it killed you.

“Hey,” Tara said softly, “we’re not going to let them stop us doing our jobs. These people deserve justice and we’re going to get it for them.”

“Damn right,” Rossi materialised behind Tara, “Prentiss pulled rank on the chief and the case is ours. Extra agents are coming in to help us so we have some protection if they try to interfere.”

“Wow that’s a strong reaction,” you said, “It’s great but how did she pull it off?”

“Lamb abducted a woman in broad daylight ten minutes ago from a grocery store parking lot, a civilian who tried to help was shot. It’s hard to argue in the face of that.”

“That’s not Lamb’s MO,” Spencer frowned. “Why would he-“

“A cop blabbed we were looking into him,” you growled, “we’ve lost the element of surprise.”

“Matt and JJ are reading the officers the riot act in the squad room. We’re giving them ten minutes to decide whose side they’re on and whoever gives up Lamb’s location will have it taken into account when considering disciplinary action against the entire department,” said Rossi.

Your heart pounded in your chest. You could hardly believe what was happening.

“The geo-profile would suggest that Lamb’s comfort area is northern area of the woods, about five miles from where the grave was,” said Spencer.

“We can’t rely on these guys to give Lamb up,” you said, “We need to find him now.”

“We can’t go into those woods blind,” said Rossi, “Lamb knows the terrain, he could easily get the drop on us.”

“We need to do something!”

“I understand this is personal for you,” said Rossi and your blood pressure began to climb. It should be personal for everyone. Fourteen people were dead because they just wanted to make their own choices about life. “But we can’t rush in there.”

“Y/N and I can head up there and start co-ordinating a perimeter,” Spencer cut in, “that way we can keep Lamb in the area while Garcia narrows down the property search. We stop him from escaping the area.”

“And possibly push him into killing this woman?” said Rossi.

“I hate to say it but she may already be dead,” said Tara, “he works efficiently, quickly. This may be our best chance at stopping him. I can head up too.”

“Fine but you guys need to be careful. I’ll tell Emily that the extra agents need to meet you up there,” said Rossi.

“Thank you for that,” you told Tara as you headed outside. Spencer had hung back to grab the map and other geo-profiling information before meeting you at the SUVs. “For backing us up I mean. I don’t think Rossi would have signed off on us otherwise.”

“No problem. Spencer’s right, this is the best way to catch him and Y/N-“ you both stopped for a moment, Tara looking at you intensely, “these victims deserve to have someone care for them. They’re lucky to have you fight in their name.”

A lump formed in your throat and you desperately wanted to tell Tara how grateful you were for her words you but it wouldn’t come out. She gave your shoulder a squeeze and the pair of you headed out to the SUV, followed a moment later by Spencer.

The ride was quiet and tense, your stomach knotting as you got closer and closer end your thought you were going to tear in two.

“Tell me about the abducted woman Garcia,” you said, putting the technical analyst on speaker.

“Eliza Dunney, 34 years old, mother of two and the leader of a support group for people in difficult relationships with their soulmates. God she seems so sweet. Her instagram is full of pictures of her kittens, she volunteers with sick children and has advocated for people who have left soulmate relationships.”

“The abduction was sloppy,” said Spencer, “Lamb will likely be on edge and unpredictable.”

“We should use a validation strategy,” Tara suggested, “he needs to believe we agree with his mission.”

“Will that calm him down?” you asked. Everything about Lamb screamed unstable and he was obsessed with his mission, it was inconceivable to you that anything could stop him in his tracks.

“At the very least it will distract him long enough for us to neutralise him,” said Spencer. “We’re here.”

The perimeter of the forest was swarming with agents and as the most senior agent it was up to Spencer to co-ordinate. For a moment he considered pulling Tara to one side and urging her to protect you but almost as soon as he thought it he knew it was a bad idea. You would be offended, it would distract Tara from the matter at hand and you could clearly take care of yourself. He looked at you, guiding some of the agents to their watchpoints, and wracked his brains to work out where the desire had come from.

_Maybe that mark on your arm?_

He pushed the thought down. Spencer definitely wasn’t in love with you. He knew cognitively that it was the societal expectations surrounding the bond that he was feeling rather than any emotion on his part. Spencer’s skin prickled. When he was young he had always been able to reconcile his countdown with his need to find logic and order in things. Perhaps it had been his desperation not to be alone that had made the pieces fall together. After Maeve’s loss and Cat, logic had seemed such a weak thing when paired with the might of fate. Prison had taught him what a total lack of control felt like and Spencer never wanted to be that vulnerable again.

But the mark, that fucking mark threatened to bring it all back. Yet he still found himself wanting to make sure you were okay. It was non-sensical. It was frightening.

It was a matter for another time. In that moment there was a woman to save and an unsub to stop and Spencer finished directing the agents assembled and went on comms, checking in with every group.

“Emily’s got a chopper in the air as we speak,” Tara said, appearing at his elbow. “She says it will be over the woods in ten minutes.”

“I’m calling Garcia, we need to narrow the search area down.”

“It is frightening how much Lamb was able to do under the table,” said Garcia, answering the phone after one ring. “That being said I was able to work my magic and I found a delivery note for an electrical generator. The company installed it and while there isn’t an address on the note there are co-ordinates. Evidently it’s off the beaten path.”

“You’re a goddess Penelope,” said Tara, “can you let the team know? We’ve got the perimeter set up here. Lamb’s not going anywhere.”

“Where’s Y/N?” Spencer asked suddenly. He spun around but couldn’t see you.

“They were here a minute ago…” Tara said, “Penny, I’ll call you back.”

She and Spencer sprinted to the makeshift command centre but you were gone and the last anyone had seen you had been instruction a group heading East on which channel to use on their comms. Before Spencer could question them further the radio’s crackled to life.

“Suspect spotted by checkpoint six. Shots fired and I have an agent down. I repeat, agent down. Send medics to checkpoint six.”

“Lamb must have tried to leave the forest and seen the patrols,” Tara said, running alongside Spencer to where a group of agents were crowded round a fallen comrade. It was a man. There was bullet wound in his shoulder but he was awake and alert.

“He just appeared out of nowhere,” he hissed. “Got the drop on me.”

“Did he have a hostage with him?”

“I think so. It was a woman, brunette. Couldn’t make out anything more than that. That other BAU agent, they took off after him.”

Spencer swore, unholstering his weapon.

“Spencer,” Tara shot him a look, “you can’t just-“

He ran into the woods, the trees growing denser and plunging Spencer into semi-darkness. There was still enough like to see a path of trampled foliage as Lamb, and then you had made your way deeper. Lamb was heading back to his cabin. It must be the kill site, Spencer reasoned, and if Lamb got there he would be in familiar territory and you’d be in grave danger.

Spencer sped up, hoping to catch sight of you round every corner, his stomach dropping when all he saw was more path. His earpiece crackled, Emily’s voice coming through slightly tinny.

“Spencer? Can you hear me?”

“I hear you,” Spencer panting, still running, “I’m close to the cabin no sight of Lamb or the hostage yet but Y/N is in pursuit and I should catch up any minute.”

It wasn’t a lie if hoped it was true right?

“Back up won’t reach you in time. You need to try and neutralise Lamb however you can. Death is the only way out and he will try and take as many of you with him as possible,” Emily warned.

“Got it.”

“Please stay safe.”

“Gerry Lamb freeze, FBI!” Spencer heard your voice, clear as a bell and he burst from the trees to see you holding Lamb at gunpoint. His own weapon was pressed against Eliza’s temple.

Spencer skidded to a halt next to, weapon raised.

“You okay?” He muttered to you, getting a curt nod in return. Your eyes never left Lamb.

“Stay back or I will kill her!”


	10. Chapter 10

“Stay back or I will kill her!”

Eliza Dunney let out a whimper, pulling at the arm Lamb had around her neck, trying to get free. _We’re going to get you home to your kids,_ you wanted to promise her, _we’re going to make sure you’re safe._

Spencer inched forward a little, his voice soothing. It made your skin crawl. You knew that he had to placate this monster to save Eliza but as they spoke you could see the blank faces of the dead women he had dumped in that grave.

“Lamb I know that you feel like you had to do this, I know you’re just trying to make the world a better place.”

“Don’t patronise me,” he yelled and Eliza sobbed, “shut up! Shut up or I will blow your fucking brains out!”

“If you kill her then people were assume you’re just another guy who hates women,” you tried, “they’ll never know why you did it. But if you let her go you can tell people, you can share your mission.”

Spencer gave you a small nod of encouragement but the words were ashen in your mouth. Eliza needed you though.

Lamb said nothing but his eyes darted from side to side, considering your words. You bit your lip, desperately wanting to push him a little further but frightened that you would push it too far and Eliza would end up with a bullet in the brain.

“Hey Lamb,” Spencer held up his hands and then slowly holstered his weapon, “I…I know how much you’re hurting.” You frowned, eyes flicking between Spencer and Lamb. Spencer turned his face away from you.

“You couldn’t possibly-“

“My soulmate was murdered.”

Your eyes widened. There was no way Spencer could think this was an appropriate time to bring up Cat Adams, let alone tell Lamb he’d killed her.

“Spencer!” You hissed but he ignored.

“Her name was Maeve, she was a geneticist. Brilliant, funny and so, so kind. We met when I was sick and she made me better and from the moment I heard her voice I was so in love. It was like nothing I had ever felt before.”

His eyes were shining with tears. It wasn’t a lie. Your heart was pounding .

“What happened?” Lamb asked despite himself. You saw his grip on Eliza slacken slightly, not enough to let her go but enough to be noticeable. Eliza’s eyes flicked to yours and you made a subtle gesture for her to hold on. You needed to time this carefully.

“There was this woman, a student of hers, Diane. She was jealous of Maeve. She wanted her job, her reputation…and me. She didn’t think Maeve deserved a soulmate and she stalked her, terrorised her for months on end before kidnapping her.”

Lamb frowned, his face creased in a look halfway between astonishment and disbelief as he struggled to decide whether he trusted Spencer. Eliza looked at you pleadingly.

_Hold on, just a little longer._

Spencer glanced at you, his face blank save for a flash of something in his eyes. You tensed, ready to shoot at his signal.

“She died right in front of me. Maeve had been in hiding so it was the first and last time I saw her face. That monster killed my soulmate before I had a chance to touch her, to kiss her or even tell her how I felt.”

“That’s…”

“It’s an abomination Gerry!” said Spencer. “It’s unnatural! That’s why understand. I understand why you’re hurting so much, why you’re so fucking angry.”

“You do.”

Lamb’s arm loosened even more as he stared at Spencer. 

“Now” Spencer hissed and you nodded to Eliza who threw herself forward as you raised your weapon. Lamb let out an inhuman scream and raised his gun but you were faster. The bullet slammed right between his eyes and sent him sprawling.

Eliza’s howl echoed through the clearing and Spencer helped her to her feet, draping his FBI jacket round her shoulders.

“You okay?” You asked him quietly as he rubbed her shoulder. He nodded but you saw a look in his eyes that told a different story. He looked drained, like it had cost him to tell Lamb that story. 

The rest of the team appeared with a bunch of the back-up agents and in the commotion you didn’t have a chance check in with Spencer again. Instead you answered Emily and Rossi’s questions about what happened. They both did a double take when you re-told Spencer’s story.

“Was it real?” You asked. Rossi hesitated.

“Some embellishment for Lamb, some misdirection but the broad strokes of it? Yeah it happened.”

Your eyes stung a little as you nodded. It was the fatigue and the relief of the case finally being over you told yourself.

“Let’s get you back to the hotel,” said Emily. “You and Spencer are both in desperate need of a rest. We can wrap things up in the morning.” You didn’t fight her, you wanted nothing more than to get out of that damn forest.

Tara drove the SUV back to the motel, you and Spencer in the back seat while Rossi rode up front.

“Did Eliza get to the hospital okay?” you asked.

“Yeah her husband and kids are meeting her there. Paramedics said she was dehydrated and in shock but physically she was okay,” said Rossi. He turned round in his seat and smiled at Spencer. “You did good back there kid.”

Spencer tried and failed to return the smile, his mouth twitching instead.

“You’re the reason she’s alive,” you added. “What you did was pretty heroic.”

For a moment you just stared at each other before it became too much and you turned your head to face the window. You could have sworn you saw Tara smiling in her reflection in the window but you were too tired to care.

* * *

There was strange atmosphere in the station when the BAU returned the next morning. There was clear divide between the officers looking at them with resentment and those who couldn’t make eye contact out of shame. Every single case file that Lamb had a hand in was pulled from storage and a team of agents was going through them, supervised by Matt and JJ. The commissioner had launched a full investigation to the entire department and Tara and Rossi were conducting interviews. Based on their faces every time they emerged from the interrogation room to call another officer in, they weren’t getting much.

“Hey,” Spencer turned around to see Officer Lopez hovering, hands twisting together. “I just wanted to say…thanks for not telling anyone that we told you about Lamb.”

“Thanks for coming forward,” said Spencer, “Eliza would have been killed if you hadn’t. It was very brave of you.” Lopez shrugged.

“I don’t know about that. Maybe it would have been braver to say something sooner. Your colleague shot him right?”

“Yeah,” Spencer said slowly. He hadn’t seen you since the previous night. Emily had ordered you to take the the day following the shooting. He had no idea if it was the first time you’d kill anyone. How were you taking it.

“Could you tell them thank you as well?” Lopez said. “God that must make me sound so cold but I just mean that…I don’t know. I just want them to know that…I think they did the right thing.”

“It must be really confusing,” Spencer said. “But all you need to know is that lives were saved. I’ll tell Agent Y/N the exact same thing.” Lopez nodded and headed off towards the break room.

“She’s cute,” you said, making Spencer jump. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What do you mean cute? And I thought you were at the motel.”

“I mean she seems sweet and I _was_ at the motel. I begged Emily to let me do something. I’m bored out of my mind. She said I could check out Lamb’s cabin but I need to be accompanied. Everyone else is busy so…”

“Why? I mean why do you want to check it out?”

“Something’s bugging me,” you said after a pause. “We guessed Lamb must have been stalking these women but we still don’t know how he found them in the first place and something about this whole jump from hating his wife to hating everyone who rejected the soulmate bond… he evolved into a mission based killer incredibly rapidly. Too rapidly?”

Spencer considered your words. There were definitely unanswered questions but there was a chance you were not being entirely objective.

“Okay,” Spencer said despite his better judgement, “let’s see if there’s something there.”

The cabin was pristine and eerily quiet. It felt like no-one had been inside for ages despite the fact that Lamb had definitely been there a while. Everything had its place and there were no personal items anywhere, just the bare essentials. You and Spencer picked your way through with gloves.

“Um, was this…was this your first shooting?” Spencer asked.

“No,” your eyes didn’t leave the bookshelf as you scanned the titles. It was mostly military history and a few conspiracy theory books. “I was involved in two shootings in counter terrorism. I was cleared after both,” you added pointedly.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” It came out more defensively than Spencer intended and you shot him a look that was borderline incredulous.

“I’m glad Eliza is okay,” you said, “I’m relieved a dangerous killer can’t hurt anyone else but I’m frustrated he can’t give us answers. Lamb must have had notes somewhere right?”

Someone as meticulous as Lamb would have needed to keep a journal or at least a record of his stalking. There was nothing on the bookshelves, the desk next to it was bare aside from a pen pot with four identical blue biros and two HB pencils. The kitchen a cupboard filled with dried rations and only enough cutlery for one person. There was a single toothbrush, toothpaste and bar of soap in the little bathroom. 

“Bedroom,” Spencer nodded to a door. It was locked. “God I miss Morgan.”

“Who?” You asked but Spencer didn’t answer. He dropped to his knees, producing a small leather case out of his back pocket. It was filled with spindly tools and he plucked out two and began picking the lock.

“Where did you learn that?”

“My friend Elle taught me,” Spencer explained as the door clicked open. It was just as bare and neat as the rest of the cabin. Which begged the question why had the door been locked.

You took the cupboard while Spencer took the bedside table. There was an empty glass by the lamp and in the single drawer was a blister pack of painkillers from the pharmacy. Two were missing. Spencer pulled out the drawer, running his hands along the sides and bottom to check for a compartment.

“There must be something. I can’t-“ Spencer stopped, frowning.

“What is it?”

“The angle of the mattress…can you help me?”

Together you lifted the mattress up revealing a padlocked compartment underneath.

“Remind me to thank Elle,” you said as Spencer picked the lock as quickly as he had the door.

“She would be bowled over I used the skills she taught me for this,” Spencer chuckled. “Look!”

Inside the compartment were stacks of blue binders, each with a victim’s name and a date written on it. Spencer took a photo with his phone and then called Emily to relay what you’d found.

“We should start going through them,” he said. Underneath the binders were books related to the soulmate bond. A box of magazine and newspaper articles and then a stack of brown envelopes held together with a rubber band. You frowned as you picked it up.

“This has Lamb’s address on it,” you said, “but there’s no stamp from the postal service so I can’t tell where they were sent from or when.” You opened up the first envelope as Spencer began flicking through one of the binders. He heard a sharp intake of breath and when he turned to you, your eyes were wide, the blood drained from your face.

“Y/N?”

Wordlessly you passed him the letter. There was no sender’s address or greeting at the top just Fatima Aden’s name typed out along with her address. Underneath that in red all caps was written:

CRIME - DIVORCED HER SOULMATE, CUCKOLDED HIM AND HAD A BASTARD CHILD WITH A STRANGER.

“He didn’t find his victims,” Spencer looked at you in shock, “he was given them by someone else.”


	11. Chapter 11

“No”

“Y/n, please.” Emily pinched the bridge of her nose as you slammed your hands down on the desk. The stinging of your palms distracted from the stinging of your eyes but it didn’t persuade Emily.

The BAU were being sent home. This was despite the stack of letters that proved that Lamb hadn’t been working alone, that someone had given him the names of those women.

“The second unsub will just find someone else and before we know it we’ll be back here pulling more bodies from a mass grave. Please. Emily.”

“Y/N, this is out of my hands,” Emily said softly. Her expression was almost pleading and that made it hurt more. You shook your head in both disbelief and disgust and stormed out of the office.

Officers scattered as you strode down the hall and to the briefing room. You didn’t acknowledge the rest of the team as you seized the letters. You were damned if you were letting this go no matter what Emily or Cruz or anyone else at the bureau said.

Whispers caught your ears, JJ saying something that sounded like “taking this too personally?” and Spencer or Luke saying something in response that was too quiet to hear. You didn’t slow down your steps, holding your head high until you made it to the copier in the back room. Every letter went in, both sides and you scanned the envelopes too. There had to be a clue somewhere.

The machine whined, copying at a snail’s pace and giving your simmering anger a chance to curdle into despair. You brushed away hot tears, biting down on your lip hard enough to draw blood in the hope that it would stop them flowing faster.

What was wrong with taking the case personally when no one else seemed to care? None of the team understood those victims like you did. None of them really got the horror of what Lamb had done. Perhaps if he’d murdered parents of young children, ex-soldiers, the elderly or someone they could view with a modicum of compassion then you would have someone else fighting your corner.

Maybe you were being unfair but in that moment you didn’t care because if you left then you would be leaving god knew how many women vulnerable.

Your phone buzzed and you took a deep breath before answering, steadying yourself.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Penelope said matter-of-factly, “I have like twenty alerts set up that cover the entire West Coast and so if I hear even the tiniest whisper that suggests this bottom feeder is back with a new monster to do his bidding you will be the first to know.”

“Penelope-“ You couldn’t get the words out. You weren’t alone. There was someone there to fight beside you.

“Don’t cry or I’ll cry,” she warned. True to her word there was a quiver in her voice. “Me crying is a sight you don’t want to subject those beautiful peepers to my beloved crusader for justice. Believe me when I start I do not stop.”

“How did you know?”

“I have spies. Everywhere,” she grinned, “beautiful, beautiful spies.”

“And I am forever grateful for them,” you smiled. “And for you.”

“Just don’t blame the team for me okay,” Penelope said softly, “I know some of them don’t understand but they are all about saving people.”

“I know,” you sighed, “I just…would they have tried harder if they did get it?”

Penelope was silent for a moment which was answer enough for you.

“Okay when we get back you and I are having movie night okay?” She said eventually, “I’m not asking, I’m telling.” Despite everything you smiled at that. You were lucky in that you already had friends in DC and you were fairly settled before you took up the post at the BAU but it was nice that Penelope was making the effort.

“It’s a deal Pen. And thank you, again. We should be getting on the plane in the next couple of hours. I’ll call you when we leave.”

No one really spoke on the trip home. You could feel the team’s stares on you as you settled down at one of the tables and set the photocopies of the letters in front of you, pen and notepad ready to make notes. 

There were no fingerprints on the letter, the unsub had been careful. You suspected they had been hand delivered as there were no markings on the envelope. Did that mean Lamb had seen them? Were they friends? You kicked yourself for not looking into the other local officers and made a note to ask Penelope to dig out employment records. There was always the chance that the unsub had come across Lamb and decided he would be the perfect patsy and after stalking him as Lamb had stalked those women.

Tara and Spencer were engaged in a quiet conversation at the front of the plane, their voices too low for you to hear. Tara smiled at you when she saw you looking, small and almost reassuring. Your face flushed at being caught but you gave her a small nod in return before turning your attention back to the letters.

Your gut told you it was unlikely that the unsub had convinced Lamb to help him without ever showing their face. Lamb was paranoid and the unsub would need to be carefully building trust between the pair of them. Lamb had known the unsub.

And you’d shot Lamb.

Fuck. You’d saved Elisa in the process and rationally you knew Lamb would never have let himself be taken alive but it still burned you that your only conclusive link to the unsub was gone. It wasn’t worth dwelling on. You turned the page on your notebook to a fresh one and began reading through the letters themselves, making note of linguistic quirks and unique phrasing that might give you some clue to the writer’s identity.

“I didn’t know you were a linguist,” Spencer’s tall form cast a shadow over the table.

“We can learn a lot from how people say things,” you shrugged, “I took some classes at college and then some more workshops at the Academy. It was really useful in counter terrorism, especially when reading manifestos, stuff like that.” To your surprise Spencer slid in opposite you and turned your notes round. _Oh sure just go right ahead, not like I was using those_.

Glancing up you saw the rest of the team turn around quickly, all except Tara who was leaning back in her seat, giving you a pointed look. 

“Tara put you up to this?”

“No,” Spencer replied too quickly, “The writing very short, to the point. No embellishments.”

“Except when he’s describing their ‘crimes’,” you said, “there’s some use of biblical phrases that makes me think they could be religious but I think that like Lamb we’re dealing with a mission-based killer.”

“Who gets other people to kill for them,” Spencer frowned.

“There’s an authoritative voice here,” you tapped the page, “a need for order and control but this is someone who is apparently comfortable with getting others to fulfil the mission.”

“It’s not totally contradictory,” Spencer slid the notebook back towards you. “But it’s unusual. If you like I could take a look?”

“I’ll make some more copies,” you nodded.

“And er, Alex Blake. She’s a former team member and a friend. I could reach out and maybe chat to her.”

Inwardly you you bristled. Where was the desire to help when you’d needed someone to back you up with Emily? 

“I took her class one year,” you said, eyes not leaving the letters. 

“Her insights are fascinating,” Spencer’s face lit up, “I’m helping her edit the latest draft of her book and her work on cultural-“ you must have pulled a face because Spencer cleared his throat. You knew he wasn’t bragging or anything but still. “I uh, I’ll give her call if you like?”

“Thank you,” you said politely and carried on making notes. Spencer’s shoulders sagged a little and guilt gnawed at you. That in turn was frustrating. Your arm began to itch, right where the mark was. You hadn’t looked at it properly since it’s formation, you didn’t want to. Absentmindedly Spencer rubbed his own arm and shifted as if making to leave.

You split the pile of copies and pushed half towards him without saying anything. Spencer settled back down in the seat.

His lips moved as he read the letters which was oddly endearing. He also had a habit of twitching his fingers as he was thinking. His brow furrowed, like he was having a silent argument with himself. 

You grabbed a second pad of paper from your bag along with some more pens and handed it over.

“I find writing things out is good for giving them some kind of order,” you explained when Spencer looked confused, “you look like you’re trying to figure something out. You ever do mind maps?”

Spencer shook is head and you turned your paper to demonstrate.

“I’m a visual thinker,” you explained, “and sometimes there’s so much conflicting information that I just put it all down on paper. Once it’s there-“ you drew lines between the bubbles of text, “I make as many connections as I can between it all and then I draw my conclusions from the connections and start re-writing in a more coherent way.”

“And that helps?”

“Ever since I was a student. My friend Max showed me, she swears by it,” you said. “So what are you stuck on?”

“The letter about the twins,” Spencer frowned, “something feels different.”

“They were the only two victims that were killed because of unreconciled bonds,” you answered, beginning to make notes like before. “As opposed to their actions I mean. The other victims all _did_ something.”

“But the choice of one of the twins not to seek out her soulmate was an action,” Spencer said and you drew a line to another bubble and wrote that down adding “CONTRADICTION???” above the line. Spencer took the page and began adding his own notes, speaking as he did. “The twins were traded as a unit. We know they were killed together so perhaps they were judged together? No that’s not-“

“No crossing out until we’re done,” you said, “there’s no bad ideas.”

“Okay we’ll leave that,” Spencer let out a chuckle and you couldn’t help but smile, “this is a good technique. I can’t usually get my hand to keep up with my stream of consciousness so it all just sits there I guess.” He gestured to his head, looking a little embarrassed.

“Brain soup?”

“I guess,” he smiled. “What else?”

“They were killed together so they were stalked together. There’s extra practical considerations there,” you said, “Two schedules to learn and two people to control.”

You carried making notes until the plane landed and the entire team made their way silently back to Quantico. Spencer looked deep in thought as he packed his bag at his desk.

“Thanks for your help,” you said, a little hesitantly. There were other team members around and he seemed to act differently when they were in ear shot. It had hit you on the plane that working alone together throughout the case had been fine, easy even but when the others were there he hadn’t spoken up for you and then on the plane when it was just the two of you again you’d actually worked well together. There are several lines of enquiry now, more than if you’d sat there your own.

So which side of Spencer would you see now?

“No problem,” he said, “any time you want to go through those letters again let me know. I’ll call Alex tomorrow.” You relaxed a little and nodded. 

“Hey everyone,” Emily called from the walkway, “I want you all to take tomorrow off and we’ll come back fresh on Monday. This one was a tough one.” You turned before she could give you a pointed stare, wondering how long you were going to feel like an outsider.


	12. Chapter 12

Spencer always felt a little awkward when taking personal days after prison. In truth he found relaxing impossible when he was first released. The investigation into Cat’s death meant that all his free time (and there was copious amounts while he was suspended) was taken up with worrying about that and then helping to prepare his defence. Spencer had thrown himself into that to the point that Emily had told him to take a step back. He was replaying the murder over and over in his mind. Sometimes his hands would ache from holding them in a rigid pose like he was squeezing the life out of Cat all over again. It would be like he was back in that interrogation room, watching the light going out of her eyes and then feeling nothing.

After that the time would drag. He couldn’t focus on books like he used to, listening to music made his skin itch and if he went for a walk to clear his head then he would start to panic. It was too open and too free being outside. That was when Spencer despaired most, when he found himself craving rigid captivity that protected as much as it imprisoned.

Things had gotten better after the hearing and after he spent his time jumping through various hoops to be reinstated. It gave him something to focus on but soon enough his free time was his own again and Spencer had no idea what to do with it. Slowly he began to read for pleasure again but it took him longer to finish a book. JJ invited Spencer to the park with the boys at the weekend as she had before but it was so obvious that things were different now. They switched to going to the movies so everyone could sit in the dark and the feeling of being judged and compared was gone, replaced instead with an ongoing investigation of the wide range of movie theatre snacks and long talks about the movies afterwards. Penelope made him mix CDs and playlists to listen to which helped and she would come over and play them for Spencer, picking out lines that she loved and explaining her reasoning. Luke invited him on long walks with Roxy. They could lose a whole afternoon in the hills and best of all Luke never talked about work. He had a talent for steering a conversation towards safe or neutral topics. Geology was always a safe bet. Chess not so much anymore but Luke was learning to play Go and while Spencer wasn’t as proficient as he was at chess he still knew enough to discuss strategy. Rossi invited him for meals at his house that turned into cooking lessons and Emily roped him into being her wine tasting buddy.

It was bearable and sometimes even pleasant. Mostly Spencer was just grateful to have other people around to distract him from his own thoughts. It was in the solitary moments that he began to feel something nameless settle on his shoulders. Despair felt like too heavy a word for the feeling, like condensation soaking into his skin, chilling him even on the hottest of days. At night it felt like a shadow had settled on his chest, like a coating of crude oil on his heart and all the good feelings were stuck in the blackness, suffocating. Spencer never cried or screamed, not anymore. He would simply lie there in the dark, staring at his ceiling and trying to remember what life was like before, what he was like before.

The remarks that he was so confident now landed like a slap on his face. The first time someone had said it had been in a review and sent bile bubbling up in his throat. The second time had been a female cadet at a talk he’d given at the academy and she’d said it while staring up at him suggestively through thick, fluttering lashes.

“Thanks, its the PTS,” he’d responded in a tone so cold and sharp the woman had gone pale and backed away. Emily had a word with her training officer afterwards, suggesting someone needed to have a strong talk with her. Spencer had found himself savagely hoping that she’d drop out of the academy altogether and save some future witness or victim her carelessness. He’d felt bad afterwards, she was young after all. Life experience would give her some common sense. It stuck with him though, that feeling of being tainted in a way no one could see. His soul was stained and he felt it with every action. Now that stain was linked to someone else. At least his soulmate wasn’t an irredeemable monster this time but after this case together Spencer was wary.

He knew you wouldn’t hurt him and the fact that you weren’t interested romantically or sexually was a relief too. Maeve had his heart and Spencer wasn’t sure he had ever gotten it back and Cat had desired him, wanted to violate and consume him. Spencer wasn’t sure he could handle being on the receiving end of either of those drives from someone else. But you wrong-footed him with your reaction to the bond and from your very first meeting he’d struggled to get the measure of you.You didn’t want or need anything from him and you were clear that there wasn’t part of yourself you were willing to give him.

The more Spencer thought about it the more he was sure he didn’t want or need anything from you either. He hadn’t with Cat but this was different. You weren’t dangerous. You were just a person in his orbit.

Except you weren’t of course, you were his soulmate. That simple fact complicated everything else. If you hadn’t been soulmates then Spencer was sure the two of you would have become friends on that case. He admired your passion, he’d enjoyed your analytical explanations of your methods and the part of you that felt so keenly for outcasts resonated with Spencer on a level that he hadn’t felt in the longest time. Even Maeve had never sparked that in him but then he had never considered her an outsider. Down to earth, introverted and uniquely brilliant yes but she lived fully within the world whereas you and he skirted round the edges. 

The long weekend following the case Spencer had spent most of his time trying to make sense of how he felt. He’d kept up the habit of keeping a journal to track his thoughts and feelings even after he left prison. The slew of therapists he had worked his way through all thought it was a good idea and writing things down went some way to halting the endless stream of intrusive thoughts in his head. He’d listed every response you triggered in him.

_Nauseated._

_Relieved._

_Sad._

_Angry._

_Frustrated._

_Scared._

So scared, deathly afraid. He hadn’t felt terror like it since his first night in prison when he was sure he was getting his throat slit in the bathroom. He wasn’t scared of you. He was scared of the possibilities you presented at first, before he knew you. Then he was scared about the implications of your feelings and his own. Spencer had always hated uncertainty and without meaning to you had upended his sense of the world. As much as that had scared him it had also been freeing.

How long had it been since someone had needed something from him?

Spencer had thought his mother had needed his help but really she had needed his understanding. Cat had needed him to be the monster she was. The team had needed him to survive prison. Victims needed him to be a functional FBI agent. Unsubs needed him to catch them.

You hadn’t needed anything.

It was both liberating and lonely.

There was no way he could even begin to talk to anyone on the team about all this he had decided but fortunately you had provided Spencer a way to kill two birds with one stone. It was a sunny Saturday morning in the cafe in the park. It was early enough that not many people were about but the chill in the air had given way to a gentle warmth and a comforting breeze.

Two different newspapers lay in front of Spencer by his coffee, booth folded so their crosswords were face up, blue biros at the ready. Alex’s smile widened as her gaze fell on them as she approached.

“Eager this morning,” she teased as Spencer got put o give her a hug.

“They look challenging this week,” he said, “I wanted us to be prepared.” Alex leaned back, looking him square in the eye.

“What else?” she asked, her expression maternal and serious. 

“It’s kind of a long story,” Spencer gestured for her to sit and then settled down opposite, “maybe I can tell you after we try to finish these?”

Alex completed hers in record time. Clearly, needing Spencer to tell her what was up was motivation enough to shave off five minutes and eleven seconds off of her previous best time. Spencer went a little slower than usual in comparison, his thoughts slipping away and half his time spent refocusing on the crossword.

“Spill,” Alex ordered, hands folded and gaze intent. Despite this it didn’t feel like an interrogation, it never did with her.

Spencer didn’t need to talk about Maeve, Alex had been there. He had hidden his imprisonment from her, and received a cutting rebuke afterwards and so he had reluctantly shared some scant details about Cat as a way of making it up to Alex. Mostly he focused on the fact that Cat was his soulmate and his tormentor. Worse she had hurt his mother. The murder was something he couldn’t bring himself to share but Spencer knew she must have an inkling and was grateful beyond words that he didn’t have to speak that out loud. Altogether there was context for the story he wove about finally meeting you, the cacophony of feelings that had crashed down on him and your complete rejection of the soulmate bond. Spencer told her about the case too, he hadn’t planned on it but it was too important to keep out. Alex listened silently throughout, a small “hmm” her only reaction. When Spencer was done she leaned back in her chair, eyes soft and imploring.

“I am so sorry you have to go through this again,” she said. 

“I mean…its not the same this time,” Spencer said, “Y/N’s not dangerous.”

“It’s still a big thing for you to deal with. But Y/N sounds nice. I remember them from a talk I gave at the academy.”

“They said they met you! What did you think of them? I…my judgement is clouded.”

“Bright,” said Alex, “very alert and curious. They asked a lot of insightful questions afterwards and emailed me a while later to thank me for answering them.”

“They’re passionate,” Spencer nodded, “and driven.”

“Reminds me of someone else I know,” Alex laughed. Spencer frowned, it took him a moment to pick up on the meaning.

“Really? Me?”

“Yes really, but I’m guessing that it’s been hard to get to know them? Both of you have this huge weighty thing hanging over you that touches every interaction.”

“So what do I do?” Spencer threw up his hands. I don’t feel like I can ignore it but they don’t feel that way.”

“Do you?” Alex asked and for a moment Spencer was silent.

“No.“  
  
“It ridiculous to expect someone to fall head over heels for a complete stranger in any circumstances. Society has turned the soulmate bond into something iron and inflexible over generations,” Alex explained, “when in reality it isn’t that at all. The bond is as unique as the people connected by it.”

“You and James-“

“Got a lot of heat for the fact that we have spent much of our married life apart,” Alex cut in, “doesn’t matter to them that it works for us. There have been plenty of people, our family and friends even, that find it strange that we care so much about our jobs. What’s a job compared to a soulmate? It doesn’t matter to them that James and I consider it an integral part of who we are.”

Alex reached out and took his hand, squeezing tight.

“You and Y/N are two complete, whole people beyond this connection between you. You’re not obligated to feel or act a certain way.”

Spencer didn’t say anything, just squeezed Alex’s hand back, feeling freer than he had in a while.


	13. Chapter 13

After the case in Washington you needed to be around people who weren’t FBI agents. Your friends knew you well enough to pick up up on the fact that you didn’t want to talk about the job. Instead you sat in your garden with a bottle of wine and a cheeseboard and listened to Callum talk about looking for houses with his husband and Max offering them advice on local schools. Nancy gushed about a new punk night she was running at the bar she managed and how you all needed to come along and Al refusing because the last time they had attended one of Nancy’s events they had ended up losing their left shoe and adopting a cat they ended up naming Fozzi Bear. It had been a wild night.

You sat back and listened to your friends playfully bicker and then lapse into telling stories from your shared misspent youth. The four of them were your found family, far more accepting of your sexual and romantic identity than your real family and more importantly for you more understanding about how you felt about the soulmate bond.

“You’re pretty quiet there Y/N,” Max nudged you, her voice lowered. She had that teacher look in her eyes, where she was trying to suss out what the root of the problem was and try and fix it in such a way that you didn’t realise what was going on. You smiled back at her.

“Just enjoying being with the people I love,” you said, giving her a gentle pat on the arm.

“I am here if you ever need to talk,” Max said solemnly, “you know that right?”

“I do and I might end up taking you up on that but not right now,” you said. Truthfully you wanted to see what would happen next with Spencer. There was very little you could do about his conflicted feelings except watch and wait and guard yourself against being coerced into something you didn’t feel comfortable with.

You had iron resolve but the constant pressure from almost everyone you encountered got to you from time to time.

“Are you at least happy with the job? Helping people and tracking down serial killers I mean,” Max thankfully interrupted your thoughts as they verged on the melancholy. The concern in her eyes softened as you smiled at her.

“For the most part yeah,” you nodded, trying not to think about Washington, “I think I could do some real good.” As if something out in the universe heard you, your phone began to ring. “Terrible for my social life though, excuse me.”

“Hey Y/N!”

“Spencer do we have a case?” You silently pleaded with whatever force was out there that there wasn’t. You needed a little longer to feel normal.

“No. Oh did I interrupt something? God I’m so sorry!”

“No I have a few friends over, we’re hanging out in my garden.”

“Wow uh that’s sounds really nice,” he said. He sounded cheerful, more so than he had before but given your job he hadn’t really had occasion to come across that way so you didn’t want to read too much into it. “I um, I spoke to Alex yesterday and I know I could have waited until we were back at work tomorrow but I thought you’d really like to know that she’s agreed to help up with the linguistics of the letters.”

“Really! That’s fantastic. I’ve already made copies. Does she want them sent to her?”

“I can pick them up if that’s easier,” Spencer said, “I’ve made plans to meet her for lunch on Monday so I could hand them over.”

“Really?” You bit your lip, glancing at your friends laughing and joking. You felt a little weird at the idea of your work life and personal life coming into contact but you were desperate to make some headway on the letters. You knew in your gut there was an unsub out there that would seek out someone to carry on Lamb’s bloody mission and you needed to identify them fast. “That’s really kind of you. You have my address?”

An hour later the doorbell rang. You’d prepped your friends in as casual a manner as possible but that didn’t stop them craning their heads to watch you open your front door.

“Hey,” Spencer beamed at you as you answered. He looked different in casual clothes, his overall bearing too was far more relaxed. “Sorry to bother you on a Sunday.”

“It’s not a bother. This means a lot to me.” Spencer nodded, smiling sympathetically. “Hey, do you want a drink before you go, or a bite to eat?”

Spencer’s eyes slid to the empty doorway your friends had scrambled out of.

“I don’t want to intrude…”

“It’s not an intrusion if I’m inviting you in,” you said and you realised you meant it, “and like I said this means a lot to me and I want to thank you for helping me.” Spencer nodded shyly and followed you through your little house out to the back yard.

“Guys this is my colleague Spencer. Spencer these are my friends. That’s Callum, Nancy, Max, and Al.” They all gave a wave or a hello as you introduced them.

“Uh hi, nice to meet you,” Spencer stuttered. You ushered him to a free seat and encouraged the others to return to their conversation so he wouldn’t feel studied. He watched the others closely as Al and Nancy started debating superhero movies.

You slid into the chair next to him and held out a soda.

“What do you think Spencer?” Nancy turned to him pointedly. He froze, can half raised to his lips, eyes wide.

“Don’t put him on the spot!” Max nudged Nancy, “Spencer ignore her. She loves a debate.”

“I do not!”

There was a chorus of “do too”s that descended into bickering. You gave Max a sly wink as a thank you and then jumped into the conversation, arguing with Al about Marvel vs DC.

“Thanks for that,” Spencer turned to Max. “That really wasn’t my area of expertise.”

“Me neither,” laughed Max. “Everything I know about superheroes I’ve picked up from my kids by osmosis.”

“My friend JJ did the same,” Spencer laughed, “when her son got into comics so did she. She actually enjoys them more than he does now.”

“Oh I’m a teacher,” Max blushed, “I don’t have kids of my own. I probably shouldn’t call them that. Is that weird?”

“Not at all! It shows you have a protective instinct. How old are they?”

“Between six and eight,” Max explained, settling back in her seat. Everyone else was carrying on with their conversation, it was just the two of them. “I studied art history at college and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do afterwards but I’ve always loved kids and when we’re that young we aren’t afraid of or self conscious about our creativity you know? It’s such a great way to navigate the world and growing up and- oh god I’m rambling like a crazy person aren’t I?”

“No, not at all!” Spencer didn’t want her to stop talking. It was the most normal conversation he’d had since…well it had been a while. “There’s nothing better than hearing people talk about stuff they’re passionate about.”

“You sound like Y/N!” Max said. “They said the exact same thing almost word for word.” She looked over at you with a warm smile on her face as you laughed at one of Callum’s jokes.

“How long have you two been friends?”

“It feels like forever,” said Max, “Y/N transferred to my high school when we were about fourteen or fifteen and we’ve been best friends ever since.” There was a weight behind the words, an implication of something. It wasn’t romance or tragedy, that much Spencer could tell, but it was clear yours and Max’s friendship had been a pivotal one.

Which meant that Max probably knew about the soulmate bond. Maybe all of your friends did Spencer realised, panic rising in him. His hand flew to the opposite arm, clasping the area of the mark, covered by his sleeves.

“Hey,” Max’s voice was soft but firm. “Everything’s okay.” She nodded to Spencer’s arm as he frowned at her. “We’ve all known Y/N long enough to know how they feel about that.”

Spencer’s grip relaxed, tension leaving his body. The rest of the group hadn’t noticed anything amiss. You had gotten up to grab some speakers and was fumbling around looking for some music to play while the others shouted out requests. 

“I don’t know how much they told you,” Max said slowly, “but Y/N had it kinda rough going when they were younger. That’s pretty much why they transferred and started spending more time at my place than their parents. They feel things really strongly. Y/N has the biggest heart of anyone I know.”

“That’s clear through our work,” Spencer nodded. It had been obvious how much you had cared about the victims in Washington, how relentlessly you would pursue justice on their behalf. “It’s a good trait to have when dealing with people on the worst day of their lives.”

“Honestly, I was worried when they went off to the academy. Seeing all that death must have an effect on the soul.”

“It does,” Spencer said, slowly, “and that’s something we have to learn to manage and deal with.” He didn’t add that he wasn’t sure whether he had acquired that particular skill yet.

“Can you do me a favour?” Max asked, looking at you to make sure you weren’t listening, “don’t let Y/N burn themselves out please.”

“I promise.” Spencer didn’t know why he’d agreed without hesitation and so eagerly. Maybe he wanted to reassure Max or maybe he wanted to commit to your wellbeing after the conversation with Alex the day before. He wasn’t sure why either or both of those things might be pushing him to make that promise but he found he didn’t care. He wanted to make it regardless.

“Thank you. That’s decent of you,” Max smiled. “I’m glad Y/N has people they can trust at work. Between you and the famous Penelope I think they’ll be okay.”

“You’ve heard about her?” Spencer laughed. It was relief to move on to a different topic on conversation. “She makes an impression even before she’s met people.”

“She sounds wonderful!”

“She is!”

“What are you guys gossiping about?” You made your way over, gathering up empty bottles and cans.

“Penelope Garcia.”

“A worthy topic of conversation! I’ve been invited to a movie night you know.”

“You should go,” Spencer said, “Garcia makes everything fun. We used to go to the horror movie marathon they run at Halloween every year. This was back when Agent Morgan was on the team. We even dressed up a couple of times.”

“Oh I would have paid to see that!” Your eyes widened. “But I wouldn’t have guessed she was a horror fan.”

“I think it may have been an excuse to cuddle up to Morgan,” Spencer chuckled, “and she got us to stay over at her place a couple of times afterwards.”

You looked like you were going to ask a question but then thought better of it and instead shook your head. 

“I’ll suggest a comedy or action movie instead. Horror gives me the newbie jeebies.”

The conversation carried on for a while, flowing between topics as one by one your friends headed out. Finally it was just you, Spencer and Max left and she had class the next day.

“It was lovely meeting you,” she said to Spencer with a wave.

“Likewise.”

When you came back from seeing her to the door you had a thick folder in your hands.

“Didn’t think these were appropriate to bring out in front of everyone,” you explained. “You think Dr Blake will be able to get something?”

“She’s brilliant,” Spencer assured you, “if anyone can its her. Thank you for letting me help with this,” he added.

“I think…I think we got off on the wrong foot. We both have baggage. Well-earned baggage,” you said. “And we have this thing hanging over us but it doesn’t define us.”

“We can define it,” Spencer said. “The bond is whatever we choose to make it. Can we start again?”

“I’m Agent Y/N,” you stuck out your hand with a grin, “pleased to meet you.”

“Agent Spencer Reid,” he took your hand and gave it a gentle shake, his skin warm against yours. “I look forward to working with you.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Good weekend?” Garcia asked you brightly as you stepped out of the elevator.

“Actually yeah it was. Had some friends over, took it easy. It was nice after…everything.” You didn’t mention Spencer had been there too or that he had agreed to help here with the unsub letters. That felt personal, private. “What about you?”

“Oh you know…” Penelope’s gaze dropped to her perfectly manicured nails. “This and that. Seeing people too. Hanging out. Socialising. Human interaction.”

“Oh yeah? Do anything fun?”

“Oh no Emily has that stern “we have a case an its a bad one” look about her. I should totally go and see what that’s about?” Before you could respond she was half running down the hallway towards where Emily was in deep conversation with Cruz.

“Morning Y/N. Everything okay?” Spencer came up behind you with JJ at his side. You gave a small shrug.

“I think so. Just asking Garcia about her weekend but I think we have case.”

“Oh yeah that’s Emily’s “it’s going to be rough” face,” sighed JJ. “I was really hoping for a paperwork day.”

“Maybe it’s a local one,” Spencer said hopefully.

“Don’t jinx it!” JJ hissed.

“‘Jinxing’ isn’t real,” Spencer argued, “me saying that will have absolutely no effect on a crime that has already taken place.” 

“Y/N back me up here!” This was the first time that she’d attempted any kind of banter with you and for a moment you were stunned. Spencer was looking at you somewhat pleadingly. When you gathered yourself you held up your hands in mock surrender.

“The universe is a weird place. Who says we didn’t jinx it some other way?”

“Because jinxing isn’t real. It’s illogical!”

“I dunno, you work in this job long enough and you start to wonder,” JJ sighed. “Emily’s waving us over. Hope you’ve packed your go bags.”

You and Spencer watched her head up to the countable room, followed by Luke and Matt who both looked like Christmas can be cancelled.

“Can you always tell when it’s going to be a bad one this early?” You asked Spencer who paused before answering.

“Bad is a subjective term, especially when our entire job is seeing people on the worst days of their lives. By the way I ended up meeting Alex for breakfast this morning so I managed to give her the files sooner than I thought.”

“Spencer that’s amazing, especially if we end up being called away!”

“She’ll get back to us soon,” Spencer nodded eagerly and when the pair of you walked into the briefing you felt a little less heavy.

JJ needn’t have worried, the case was local. It was a really bad one however, a family annihilator had killed his wife and three daughters then absconded with his son. There wasn’t even time to breathe as you, Spencer and Luke headed to the crime scene. 

The smell hit you first, even before you had made your way into the living room where Sandra Lane and her three daughters had been killed.

“The bodies are with the ME and crime scene techs have finished their sweep,” said Luke. “The girls’ died first and then Sandy. A single gunshot to the head for each of them.”

“There’s so much blood,” you muttered, more to yourself than them. “The son, Rory? Do we think he was here too?”

“Neighbour saw Christopher Lane and his son leave the house around one, just after the gunshots were heard and she said it look liked Rory was bleeding but CSU haven’t matched his blood type to any of the pools here.”

“So it was secondary transfer for his mother or one of his sisters,” you said. You nodded to the walls. “There’s twice as many pictures of Rory and Christopher compared to the rest of the family.”

“He was the favourite,” Spencer said, peering at the largest picture of the two by a lake. Rory had a tight smile on his face that didn’t reach his eyes while Christopher was beaming. “Christopher clearly valued his son over his daughters and even his wife. It may explain why he didn’t kill him. His son is an extension of himself, his heir, while his wife and daughters are just property.”

“Bastard. We should check Christopher’s office and Rory’s room. Its likely Christopher will take them somewhere with significance to both of them,” you said. Spencer headed to the office in the basement with you while Luke took Rory’s room.

“Well this is creepy,” you said as you headed down the stairs. “It’s got an industrial lock on the door. Mr Lane clearly didn’t want to be disturbed down here.” There were three filing cabinets next to the desk and a stack of boxes in another corner. You weren’t looking forward to going through those.

“Garcia’s been going through the family’s finances. Mrs Lane didn’t have her own bank account and Christopher deposited his oldest daughter’s pay checks from her Saturday job,” Spencer explained. “The family were in debt. Lane’s business was failing and he kept taking out loans he couldn’t pay back.”

“So he snapped,” you sighed. “His wife may not have even known about the debt. God she must have been so terrified.”

“Loads of business books here. Pop psychology, motivational guides, how to succeed at anything.” Spencer ran his finger along the spines of the books on the shelf. “And underneath there are trophies but they all seem to be from when he was in high school and college.”

“A middle aged man reliving his glory years as his professional life falls apart.” You lifted the lid off the top box. It was filled with loose bits of paper, bills and invoices by the looks of them. No order whatsoever.

“It’s definitely a cliche. People shouldn’t have families if they can’t take care of them, if they constantly want something else” said Spencer, a tremor of anger in his voice. You looked up at him, a silent question in your gaze. For a moment he looked like he wanted to bolt from the room before shrugging. “My uh father left my mother when the symptoms of her schizophrenia worsened. We needed him most and he just walked out.”

“That’s terrible. Spencer I’m so sorry!”

“Sometimes I think we were better off without him,” Spencer said in a way that suggested the opposite. 

“Still, families are hard. Their blows hurt worse.” Spencer looked at you questioningly. “My relationship with my parents is fraught. We don’t see eye to eye on the whole…” You pointed to your arm, where the soulmate mark was under your sleeve.

“Have you looked at it?”

“No,” you shook your head. Marks were unique to the pairs of soulmates. Some people thought the shape or pattern of the mark held meaning but it was nonsense. It was random. “Have you looked at yours?”

“I looked at it after you arrived. Briefly. Then I kept it covered until…um, last night actually.” Spencer said after a brief pause. He was still studying the bookshelf but his gaze seemed more pointed, like he didn’t want to look at you accidentally.

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what to say to that. Was it because you were in a better place after he hung out with your friends? You both had a better idea of where you stood in relation to each other so perhaps it finally felt safe to look. 

You stopped what you were doing and pulled off your latex gloves. With steady fingers you began to roll up your sleeve.

“You don’t have to do that”

“I want to,” you said and you meant it. The mark was silvery, just a shade lighter than the rest of your skin. The lines of the mark were thin, almost wispy and the entire mark couldn’t have been more than two inches. It was wider one end that the other, rounded with tendrils or vines spreading down your arm.

“It kind of looks like a comet with a tail,” you said, squinting.

“I think it looks more like a jellyfish,” said Spencer, “you have the bell here and then the tentacles, see?”

You opened your mouth to protest, it was clearly more comet shaped, when Luke called down the stairs to ask if you’d found anything.

“Lane was hiding his dodgy financials,” you pointed to the box stuffed with papers. ‘Is there anything in Rory’s room?”

“A bunch of sports stuff but I get the impression he was only playing on teams for his father. Garcia is pulling his and the girls’ school records but from the look of Rory’s room, he was a smart kid. Preferred science and math over sports.”

“Show us.”

It was just as Luke said. Sports trophies and certificates lined the wall but Rory’s bookshelf was filled with textbooks, some of them college level. Under his bed was a model of the solar system, a box of comics in protective sleeves and a stack of report cards from his teachers.

“They wanted Rory to take advanced classes,” Spencer said quietly, reading through the reports. There was something far away in his stare.

"I just got a text from JJ.” Luke held up his phone. “Mrs Lane was very active in Church, she and the girls went every week and they were in the choir and bible study groups. Christopher and Rory never went but they did go on a Church fishing trip once. It ended when Christopher got into an argument with the pastor for trying to show Rory how to fish”

“Christopher wouldn’t have wanted anyone other than himself to have any influence over his son,” said Spencer. “Most of the photos of them together are taken outside. They fished, hiked and did general outdoorsman things.”

“There’s a National Park about sixty miles from here,” you said. You picked up a photo on Rory’s night stand. The boy looked grim faced next to his beaming father, a sign for a campsite behind them. “Christopher might think escaping into the wilderness with Rory might solve all his problems.”

“He’s a fantasist,” Spencer ran his hands through his hair, “he doesn’t care about Rory as a person, just as an extension of himself. If Rory isn’t compliant then Christopher will kill him.”

“Rory’s a smart kid and he took the trouble to keep his father happy. The things he holds dear are hidden away and he puts everything his father values on display. He must have strong survival instincts so he could keep Christopher on side until we reach them,” you said hopefully. It felt hollow though. This was a twelve year old boy. He shouldn’t have spent his life placating a monster.

“He saw his mother and sisters murdered,” Spencer put the reports down on the bed and prodded a bump under the duvet. Lifting it up you saw there was an old, tattered rabbit, one eye missing, shoved were no one could see it. “No one can stay vigilant indefinitely. He’s terrified and traumatised.”

“I’m gonna call Matt, he’s with the local PD. We need to get footage from traffic cameras on all the routes between here and the National Park,” said Luke. You waited for him to step outside before turning to Spencer who still held the rabbit in his hands.

“We’re going to do everything we can to find Rory,” you promised.

“I know,” Spencer said without looking up, “but can we do that before Christopher snaps? It won’t take much. He’s a malignant narcissist.”

“Rory’s smart and brave, he shouldn’t have had to be but he is. Like someone else I know.”

“You think I’m projecting,” Spencer frowned at you.

“I think you’re empathising,” you said, “and I think Rory needs that right now.”

Spencer looked back at the stuffed toy before laying it carefully on Rory’s pillow. For a moment it felt like you had a glimpse into what he was like when he was Rory’s age. 

“You know what?” Spencer looked up at you. “I think you’re right. It does look like a jellyfish.” You smiled gently at him, your throat tight. Spencer rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“Let’s go find Rory,” he said thickly.


	15. Chapter 15

There was a chill in the air as the BAU arrived with local PD at the last campsite in the direction that traffic cameras had picked up Christopher Lane. Alerts had gone out across the area over the past two days and there had been some sightings but none of them had panned out until now. 

Spencer looked nervous, shuffling on the spot, clearly agitated to get going. The problem was that unless Christopher and his son were still there in their tent then they could be anywhere in the surrounding area. It was thick forest, rocky hills and overall rough terrain. Any searches would be slow and hampered severely if the weather turned. The thick grey clouds hung ominously over everything.

“Why do we keep ending up chasing psychopaths into the goddamn woods?” Matt sighed as he an Emily approached the rest of the team.

“The campsite manager said that Christopher and Rory came here yesterday morning and pitched their tent in section C. Officers are heading there now but we think they went into the foothills just after dawn this morning.”

“Of course they did,” groaned Rossi, “maybe there’s a clue at the tent?”

“Wouldn’t want to ruin those expensive Italian leather shoes huh?” Emily asked, dryly. “JJ can you give him a hand? Matt I want you and I to co-ordinate the search here. Christopher is armed so we need to be careful. There’s two directions they could have gone in. Luke and Tara will take a group and head up route A, Y/N and Spencer will do the same for route B. Go slow, radio in every ten minutes, when one of you picks up the trail the other group will respond as back up. All clear?”

You all nodded and swiftly everything kicked up a gear. You fell into step with Spencer, heading up a track that headed around the hills rather than upwards. The trees weren’t as close together but the path was rocky and judging by Spencer’s map it followed a river and led around a couple of lakes.

“It’s less well travelled than the route Luke and Tara are taking,” Spencer explained, to which you rose an eyebrow. “The tourism board releases yearly reports on visitor numbers and their use of the land here.”

“Light reading huh?”

“Something like that.” The small smile Spencer flashed you made you feel a little better, both for him and for you. “I swear not every case the BAU works will have you traipsing through the wilderness.”

“Yeah this is the worst sense of deja vu,” you said. You didn’t mention Lamb or the Washington case as you headed further down the path. A rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance but you guessed you had a little while. If a storm hit you would have to turn back and you didn’t want to think about Rory out there with an unstable father. You wondered if it would be better if you and Spencer found him, or Tara and Luke.

“Agents!” Ahead of you a couple of officers were standing around something that turned out to be a red cap with a soccer team’s logo on.

“There were banners for that team in Rory’s room,” Spencer said.

“So he may have dropped it as he and his Dad were heading through here.” There was something that felt inevitable about the pair of you leading the team that found Rory but you couldn’t face that feeling right there.

“Maybe,” Spencer said slowly, “or maybe Rory placed it here deliberately. Was this how you found it?” One of the officer’s nodded. 

“What are you thinking?”

“See those sticks by the hat. The ones that kind of look like an arrow? I think that’s meant to be a tracking sign. Rory’s telling up they headed this way. He may be trying to lead us to where his Dad is taking him.”

Just as you started to ask whether it could be a coincidence there was a shout from officer’s further ahead. It was a set of sticks laid out in the same way. Definitely not a coincidence. You radioed Emily and headed down the track. The next rumble of thunder sounded closer and the sky was beginning to darken as the clouds thickened. Ten minutes later you found another sign, exactly the same. Your heart was beginning to beat faster, Spencer’s jaw was clenched, determination burning in his eyes. 

“The signs are different,” you frowned as you came upon a rock with two half semi-circles drawn above it. “What does that one mean?”

“Hide,” Spencer said as he looked around. “They must have left the track to avoid detection.”

“The ground gets steeper up there but Christopher is fit. The only other way is towards the river.” Either way was possible but it was getting dark and every moment you spent deliberating was a moment Christopher and his son got further away.

“Emily can you hear me?” Spencer clicked on the radio. “We think Christopher is trying to throw us off. Is there anything near us that could be used as a natural shelter? A cave, overhang or something like that?”

There was a crackling sound as Matt and Emily searched through the maps of the area.

“Okay about two miles from your current position there’s a ravine that hikers use to provide cover during storms. Head in the direction of the river and then carry on eastwards,” said Matt. “We’re sending the other team to back you up. Rossi and JJ found empty boxes of ammo in the tent so be careful.”

You all headed in the direction of the river, the thick grass reaching above your knees and the trees hanging lower. You started to notice evidence that Christopher and Rory had headed this way. They had hacked through the undergrowth and trampled a path that became more and more obvious.

“He’s not bothering to cover his tracks, should we be worried?” Spencer didn’t answer your question. Perhaps he didn’t want to admit it out loud.

“The ravine should be just up ahead,” he said instead, coming to a stop. “We need to approach carefully and quietly. If Christopher feels cornered he will lash out.”

“Let me scout ahead.”

“No you stay here and co-ordinate the officers. When I give you the signal, you should fan out to both sides of the ravine so we can box him in.”

“Spencer!” But he was already making his way towards the ravine, keeping close to the trees that hung over. You couldn’t make out voices in the distance or the glow of a campfire so all you could do is start giving the officers directions and hoping Spencer would be okay.

Spencer had tunnel vision as he sped round the ravine. Peering over he could see Christopher and Rory huddled round a campfire. The boy looked pale, knees hugged to his chest and eyes darting from side to side while Christopher stoked the flames.

“They’ll never find us out here,” he said, more to himself than Rory. “We’re too smart for them you know?” Rory shifted backwards and even from above Spencer could see the boy’s shoulders shaking as he struggled to keep the tears in. Fear pierced Spencer. Christopher wouldn’t want to see any signs of weakness in his son.

“I’m talking to you!”

“Yes, sir,” Rory mumbled, “sorry, sir.”

Spencer looked around. Further down the slope into the ravin even out a little and looked easier to climb down. He might even be able to approach from behind and take Christopher by surprise. It was his only hope. The officers were heading towards the ravine, ready to take position with you at the helm.

As quietly as he could, Spencer scrambled down. He was in better shape than before prison but it was still a struggle for him and twice he lost his balance and had to cling to the rock to keep from falling. Finally he reached the ground and drew his weapon, only to have Christopher appear from the darkness.

“Christopher Lane, FBI! Get down on the ground with your hands behind your head.”

“You’re not taking my son away from me,” Christopher snarled.

“You’re surrounded.” The officers appeared over the edge of the ravine, guns and torches pointed squarely at Christopher. “Surrender now and your son will live.”

“I’d rather we die together.” Christopher reached behind him for his weapon but his scowl turned into a look of confusion. Then Spencer heard a click.

The gun looked wrong in Rory’s small hands. He couldn’t even hold it steady but that could also have been down to the sobs wracking his body. Spencer heard to approach from behind with another officer, weapons trained on Christopher.

“Rory…” Spencer said gently.

“He killed my Mom. He killed Becky and Kayla too,” Rory cried, “I hate him.”

“I know you do,” Spencer holstered his weapon and moved forward slowly, hands raised. “He’s going to go to prison for what he did so he can never hurt anyone again.”

“I don’t want him to go to prison, I want him to die!”

“Do it, go on Rory do it,” Christopher urged.

“Don’t move Lane,” you hissed.

“Rory you’re a good kid. You’re nothing like your Dad,” Spencer moved forward a little more, coming level with Christopher. “You’re not a killer.” 

“Maybe I am! Maybe I’m just like him. That’s what he wanted!”

“You aren’t like him and you don’t want to be like him. Your Mom wouldn’t want you to be like him. She’d want you safe and happy.”

“But she’s not here,” Rory sobbed, “she’s gone and it’s all because of him.”

“Killing him won’t bring her back,” said Spencer, “and I know it would break her heart. So please just give me the gun Rory and we’ll make sure your Dad pays.” For a moment he thought his pleas had fallen of deaf ears and then the gun few to the ground. At the same moment you and the officers tackled Christopher to the ground, Rory fell in to Spencer’s arms.

“It’s okay, it’s over,” Spencer said as the boy howled like a wounded animal. It felt like they were there forever as the officers dragged Christopher away and secured the scene. It was easy enough to walk Rory out fo there after he calmed down somewhat. He was still crying but it was softer now, his gaze unfocused.

“Will you stay with me?” Rory asked quietly as they made it to the SUVs.

“Sure,” Spencer said, “we’re going to take you to the station and then your Grandma is flying in from Kentucky.”

“I don’t know her,” sniffed Rory, “Dad never let Mom’s family visit.”

“She’s really excited to see you,” you said, climbing into the driver’s seat with Luke beside you. Rory and Spencer sat in the back and you turned round to give the boy a small smile. He tried to give one back but it was strained. Spencer couldn’t blame him given the trauma he’d experienced over the past few days.

“Where’s my Mom and sisters?” he asked Spencer quietly as they drove away. 

“They’re at the coroner’s office,” he said after a pause. “They’re being taken care of and when you Grandmother arrives their bodies can be released.”

“What does that mean?”

“They can be buried.” Rory nodded, staring down at his hands. For a while they drove in silence. Spencer remembered being a child and hating being forced to talk, whether by his mother or teachers or the parade of therapists he was forced to see after his father left them. Instead Spencer, turned a little, ready and open in Rory wanted to say anything, you and Luke following his lead and remaining quiet.

“Can I ask you something?” Rory said after while. “Do you think my Mom is mad at me?”

“Why would she be mad?”

“I didn’t stop my Dad…”

“I know she wouldn’t be mad,” Spencer shook his head, “she’d be really proud of you.”

“How do you know?”

“Mothers are like that. They want their children to be safe more than they want anything else in the world. Now you are.” Rory said nothing and for a moment Spencer was tempted to fall silent again as they approached the station but something tugged at him. “I know it hurts now. It’ll hurt for a while but slowly, very slowly, you’ll find a way to manage that pain and you won’t be alone when you do that. Okay?” Rory nodded and Spencer pulled his card from his pocket.

“You need anything, day or night, you call me okay? Even if you just want to talk or not say anything at all.” Rory mumbled a thank you, the tears streaming down his cheeks once more. As he entered the station and charged towards his Grandmother, he still had the card gripped tightly in his hand.

“That was a really brave thing you did,” you said, appearing at Spencer’s elbow, “and really kind too.” 

Spencer gave a small shrug and the two of you watched the happy reunion in contented silence.


	16. Chapter 16

“So do you feel like you’ve settled in at the BAU yet?” Max asked as the pair of you sat down for coffee one weekend towards the end of summer. It had been a couple of weeks since the Lane case and things had quieted down. You had just returned from a fairly open and shut arson case in North Carolina and had been doing a lot of consulting work, all in all you felt like you had a handle on the work side of things.

“The work is good,” you said, digging into the lemon cupcake Max had treated you to, “I feel like I’m getting to know the team better too. I’m still the new kid but before there was…thing hanging over me and now there isn’t.”

“Because you and Spencer have sorted it out?” You nodded and couldn’t help a smile creeping across your face. ”What?” Max asked.

“You ask about him nearly every time we meet up you know that?”

“He’s your soulmate!” Max argued, “I’m just making sure you’re okay.” If anyone else had brought it up it would have made you uncomfortable but with Max it was different. Perhaps because when she said it, it wasn’t so laden with implication. You gave a “mmhmm” in response and let Max change the subject but you couldn’t help but mull it over.

They were similar, Max and Spencer, and no matter what Max said Spencer had clearly made an impression the first time they met. She’d oh so casually asked after him a couple of times since them and whenever you talked about work she would latch onto your mentions of Spencer. 

And Max wasn’t alone. When Spencer asked how you weekend was he would usually follow up by asking how Max was doing, how she found teaching etc. You kind of wanted to give each of them the other’s number and see how it went. They were both kind and smart and funny, both of them had a softness to them. Max would love Spencer’s thirst for knowledge and Spencer would love Max’s confidence so what was holding you back from setting them up?

_Cat fucking Adams._

She hung over everything like a rotting spectre. You had manage to reconcile Spencer’s actions. The woman had almost killed his mother and tried to murder the rest of the BAU. This was after he’d been falsely imprisoned for months, never knowing if he was going to make it through the night. You didn’t have to like what he had done but you could understand it. Max wasn’t Cat but you loved her too much to risk her getting hurt. You knew Spencer never would but it was still there, unacknowledged but frighteningly present.

On top of that was the fact that while you and Spencer knew where you stood in regards to the soulmate bond, you didn’t know if Spencer was interested in a relationship. More specifically you got the impression that Spencer felt like it would be almost inappropriate to see someone romantically, even though the two of you didn’t feel that way about each other. 

It was understandable. There would be lots of people who wouldn’t like the idea of being with someone who had a soulmate. Even if it was’t cheating, for some people it was in the same class as that.

“Where are you?” Max asked, “you spaced out.”

“I’m sorry,” you groaned, “I think I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I’m listening now.”

“This is what happens when you work on real life horror stories,” said Max, “Lemon cupcakes won’t be enough. We need brownies…”

You smiled as she headed back up to the counter. Max really was the sweetest person and you wanted her to be happy. If being happy meant being with Spencer then shouldn’t you at least talk to him about it?

When Max came back she had a frown on her face, her gaze on something outside the cafe. When you turned there wasn’t anything there.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Max shook her head and sat down. “There was a guy outside and it kind of looked like he was watching us but I think I’m imagining things. He just walked off.”

You turned round again though the street was still empty, an odd feeling fluttered in your chest.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” you said as you turned back to Max but the words felt hollow as you spoke them.

“You’re rubbing off on me,” Max laughed. “Now they had raspberry and salted caramel brownies up there and I didn’t know which to get so I thought we could get both and split them?

“You genius!”

The odd feeling faded away as the conversation turned to happier things carried by gooey, chocolaty goodness. You were so absorbed you nearly missed the text alert on your phone.

“Please tell me it’s not a case!” groaned Max.

“Nope Spencer wants to know if I’m free tomorrow.” You didn’t add that it was for a work related matter. Alex Blake had apparently finished going through the letters Spencer had given her from the case you had investigated when you first joined. Gerry Lamb had killed people he felt violated the soulmate bond but you were convinced he’d been under direction from someone.

You texted back and then carried on chatting to Max but there was a shiver of excitement running through you now. It stayed with you as you hugged Max goodbye and headed home. You couldn’t concentrate on anything all evening and you thought it might even stop you falling asleep.

So it wasn’t a surprise to you that you were early to Spencer’s the next day, greeted with a look of surprise.

“Sorry, I know I’m super early but-“

“I get it,” Spencer stepped aside with a smile. Truth be told he had been eager as well to hear what Alex had to say about the letters. The case files were spread out over the table and a fresh pot of coffee was brewing. You had a small smirk on your face and all Spencer could do was shrug. “The sooner we hear what Alex has to say the sooner we have something we can take to Emily to get the case re-opened.” 

You nodded eagerly.

“Garcia said she would put out some alerts for me but there hasn’t been any cases similar to Lamb’s. I just have this feeling though.”

“That’s normal,” Spencer busied himself pouring a mug of coffee for each of you. “If Lamb was a mission based killer then it stands to reason that the person who set him on the killing spree could have the same mission and if they do then they won’t stop until the mission is fulfilled.”

You sat down at Spencer’s table, both of you scanning the files.

“So the mission is definitely to kill anyone who violates the soulmate bond right?” You asked.

“Yes but I don’t think we should rely on the profile we created for Lamb on its own. We should look at the whole thing from the beginning. Whoever this second unsub is, they were dominant the one in the partnership.”

You sat back, breathing deeply. Spencer gave you a concerned look but didn’t say anything. He wanted to wait for you to feel comfortable enough to voice your thoughts.

“It’s just…I’m his victim type. That’s a little hard to deal with, you know?” Spencer nodded. “And whoever they are is still out there. Every time I ask Garcia about similar cases I’m so relieved and then disappointed and then guilty!”

“Relieved no one like u-like you has been hurt, disappointed because we can only add to the profile with more data and guilty because you think that makes you a bad person for needing something to help you catch him?” Your eyes widened and then your face softened into a tired smile.

“I thought there was a ban on profiling teammates?”

For a moment Spencer wanted to tease that soulmates were an exception but he wasn’t sure you would find it funny. Studies showed that soulmates were better at interpreting each others moods, micro expressions and non-verbal cues. Despite everything else he had been able to read Cat Adams unlike anyone else and she had known exactly which button to press.

“Habit sorry,” Spencer said instead. “Um…listen-“

Just then the door went and both of you jumped up before sharing a muffled chuckle. Even though he’d seen Alex a few weeks prior, Spencer pulled her into a bear hug as soon as she walked in.

“Missed you too kiddo,” she grinned, “and you must be Y/N?”

“Hi,” you held out a hand and Alex shook it with a warm smile. Spencer had always seen something motherly in Alex while being aware that it didn’t come through to others. He had overheard Garcia telling you about the first time she had met Alex. Though they had gotten past the awkwardness very quickly Spencer knew that it had stung a little for Penelope to be picked apart in such a public way and he kicked himself for not trying to diffuse the situation back then. Now though you and Alex were in full conversational flow as she quizzed you on the BAU and your background.

 _I’m not the only one who’s changed_ , Spencer reminded himself.

“I remember you from that class I taught at the academy,” Alex said, “I’m glad to see you made it all the way to the BAU.”

“I’m glad to be there,” you said, your smile fading to a more serious expression, “there’s important work to be done.”

“I hope I can help you with that.”

It felt a little like being back in class, you and Spencer sat on one side of the table while Alex went through the letters. The pair of you were buzzing but something about the way Alex was holding herself set off alarm bells for Spencer.

“Something’s wrong isn’t it?”

Alex hesitated for a moment before laying three of the letters side by side. Spencer had written a name and date on every photocopy he’d given Alex: a victim and the date of their disappearance. Before you lay the first three murders.

“The letters are brief,” Alex explained, “there’s not a lot in the way of clues but I’ve looked at phraseology, syntax and the overall style. These first two letters are written by a native English speaker and from what little I can gather I’m reasonably confident the writer is male, probably mid-fifties to early sixties. They’re well-educated.”

“So older than Lamb,” you said, “could be a mentor or father figure?”

“You said the first two letters,” Spencer said, warily. His heart sank when Alex sighed.

“Letter three was written by someone else. The structure their sentences differently, when they write about why they have chosen this victim them allude to a bible quote, something the first writer didn’t do. Looking through all the letters I would guess this second writer wrote letters three, seven and twelve.”

“Two unsubs?” You looked between Alex and Spencer in horror.

“Letter four was written by a woman,” Alex said with a small shake of her head. “But the biblical allusions are still there and she’s probably closer in age to our first writer. She wrote letters four and eleven.”

“It’s a team,” said Spencer, “but then why not kill themselves, why get Lamb to do it?”

“We profiled the killings were mission based, they could all believe in the mission but lack the ability to fulfil it somehow.”

“Writer one penned most of the notes,” Alex explained, “and their use of language veers into the aggressive at points. It’s forthright and authoritative.”

“Our leader,” you said. “So we have a group with a shared mission rooted in an ideology that sees themselves as safeguarding something sacred and they work under a leader. What does that sound like to you?”

“A cult,” Spencer said, “it sounds like a cult.”


	17. Chapter 17

“It was hard enough to convince people of one killer targeting people over the soulmate bond. No one is going to listen to us about a cult!” You wanted to hit something, the rage was bubbling up inside you and it was getting harder and harder to keep it contained. It wasn’t Alex or Spencer’s fault and you didn’t want to take it out on them so you clenched and unclenched your fists, breathing as steadily as you could through your nose until you began to feel calmer.

They both looked at you sympathetically which was oddly comforting. You felt a little less alone knowing that Spencer at least felt as strongly as you did.

“I can write up a report if that would help?” Alex offered. “Maybe making it official will help Emily sell it to the brass?”

“Thank you,” you said, your voice more even now. “Anything to legitimise our profile would be a massive help.”

“We need to be smart with how we gather evidence,” said Spencer, “as it is, you’re totally right. No one will take us seriously with just a few letters, no matter who we have onside.”

“More evidence means more killings,” said Alex and the implication hung heavily in the air. 

“Maybe there are,” Spencer said slowly, “more killings I mean. Think about it. If there’s a group and they’re this dedicated to their cause how do we know this is their first crime? It was Lamb’s sure but this kind of fanaticism becomes ingrained early on.”

“So there would be precursor crimes,” your eyes widened, “assaults, maybe vandalism or stalking?”

“Or even stuff like writing a manifesto or starting a campaign,” Alex added, “they may have tried to get their message across by legal means before turning murder. That element could have been introduced with the leader.”

“We need to widen the search across the whole country. Can we call Garcia?” You asked. Spencer and you had both agreed to keep this from the team until after you spoke to Alex. You still weren’t sure the BAU as a whole would buy this theory but you needed Garcia’s genius to cast the net wider. Spencer nodded.

“I think we should. She could also find a way to track down any posts or diatribes posted online that may- why are you looking at me like that?”

“The sheer amount of vitriol online for people who don’t worship the soulmate bond is…you wouldn’t believe it,” you said. “There was a big online movement in the mid 2000s, I’m talking message board and blogs, all targeting “broken bonders”. People would create lists of other students at schools and colleges, there was doxxing and hate sites and you name it.”

“S-seriously?”

“Oh yeah. There was a backlash about ten years ago but some of it is still around. I guess we could look at the archived pages of the biggest sites but without knowing exactly what to look for it would be like looking for a needle in a needle factory.”

“If you like I could go through these some more and see if I could pick out some more patterns you could look out for,” said Alex.

“I know you’re really busy…” you said. Alex shook her head.

“I’ll make time for this.” You kind of wanted to dive across the table and pull her into a bear hug. You settled for shaking her hand and walking her to the door along with Spencer.

“Is it mad that I want to run over to Garcia’s place right now?” You asked Spencer once Alex had left. He shook his head, leading you back to the table for more coffee.

“Not at all. It feels like we’re two steps behind these people now. I should have seen it in Washington.”

You took the mug from Spencer and sipped. In truth you felt the same way even though you knew it was ridiculous. There had been nothing on the original case that suggested that Lamb was working with anyone else, let alone a large network.

“I feel that way too,” you patted Spencer on the arm, “but it’s an emotional response not a rational one. What we need is to stay focused.”

He smiled, laying a hand over yours and then his brow furrowed.

“Um…how did you know all that stuff? About the forums and anti-bond breakers,” Spencer asked. You hesitated, biting your lip and trying to work out how best to explain.

“I’ve always known that I never wanted the type of relationship that people assume comes with the soulmate bond” you said, “and when no one around you understands that you have to go and find a place for yourself where they do. So I found a community on message boards and blogs and whatever and it made me feel less alone. The downside was that I got to see the groups of people who hated us and would come into those spaces to tell us how broken we were.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t alone though and that helped. It also allowed me to learn more about myself, about different ways of interpreting the soulmate bond and it gave me the vocabulary to describe how I see myself,” you explained, “it also pointed me in the direction of the queer community and it was how I learnt about aromanticism and asexuality. It would have taken me longer to discover that about myself on my own.”

“So that’s where you learnt about the churches, unreconciled bonds and the surgeon who can remove soulmate marks?”

“Yup. The information is out there. You just need to know where to look.”

“Do you…do you think you could point me in the direction?” Spencer asked carefully. Your face split into a smile.

“You want a study buddy?”

“Actually yes,” Spencer shifted in his seat. “I liked the idea of having a soulmate but it didn’t… It didn’t work out and I was just wondering if there’s a way for me to make sense of that you know? When I was a kid I thought if I learnt everything about schizophrenia I could grow up and cure it. That didn’t happen but…”

“You understood it better?” You added gently. “And that meant you could deal with your own feelings about it better?”

“I need to deal with my feelings about Cat,” Spencer said thickly. You nodded.

“Paper,” you demanded and confused, Spencer grabbed a sheet and slid it towards you. “I know you can read a billion books a second but I’ll start you off with a relatively short reading list. You might want to re-read each one a couple of times. Start with this one.”

“ _A complete guide to the Intensity Theory_ by Dr Helene Sauveterre. What’s the intensity theory?” Spencer asked.

“So no one really knows why the soulmate bond happens right? The idea of platonic soulmates is a contentious one but the science backs it up, we know that some people bond with their children, siblings etc. It’s not just romantic love though that’s what a lot of people what to believe. In the 90s Dr Sauveterre came up with the intensity theory to explain why there’s so much variation in the bonds. Basically she argues that soulmate bonds are born out of an intense emotional reaction or the potential for such a reaction.”

“So it wouldn’t matter what the feeling is just so long as it’s strong?”

“Exactly! And this means that strong negative feelings can count too. Cat Adams was a monster who preyed on people for money, she’s incapable of compassion or sympathy and her sole goal in life is to inflict maximum emotional pan. That would prompt a strong response in someone she targeted right?”

Spencer hesitated, eyes darting from side to side as he tried to process what you were saying. It flew in the face of what a lot of people thought about soulmates and soulmate bonds. 

“But bonds are predicted,” Spencer said slowly, “does that mean I was…I dunno destined to hate her? Or she was destined to target my mother?”

“Destiny is…in general most people ignore that aspect of it I find,” you shrugged, “people hate to lack agency and yet the soulmate bond flies in the face of that. It’s the ultimate contradiction of our species.”

“So basically under intensity theory, the reason Cat and I were soulmates was because we were complete opposites.”

“Basically. Which leads me to recommendation number two. Antony Colley’s _Art, Love and Hate_. It’s about the rivalry between Da Vinci and Michelangelo. Colley theorises they were soulmates who hated each other and that informed their animosity and their art. It’s a doorstopper and there’s loads of historical context, you’ll love it,” you added with a wink.

You wrote down a couple more books, one was another book on intensity theory with a slightly different angle to Sauveterre and the other was a book of essays spanning the entire 20th century from writers who had mixed views on the soulmate bond. Spencer listened in awe. He had never even considered the sorts of things you told him about. Cat had wanted him to admit he was in love with her and at the time that had terrified him, afterwards it had repulsed him. 

This case a different light on that though. If a soulmate bond could be forged with any type of feeling then that was…freeing.

He wasn’t in love with Cat. He wasn’t tied to a monster through affection. Hatred was poisonous and damaging but he at least felt justified in hating Cat for what she had done to his mother, to Penelope and countless other people. It was understandable in a way that any affection wasn’t.

Sitting there, Spencer felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“Thank you.”

“What for?” You stopped mid-slow, confused.

“I don’t think I can put into words what telling me this has done for me.” Spencer tried to keep his voice as steady as possible. “I feel better than I have in a long time.”

“When I joined the team everyone told me what a good person you were, that despite what you did you were gentle and kind and I should trust you,” you said, “and the more we’ve worked together on this the more I see they were right.”

Spencer wanted you to meet Diana he realised but he knew if he said anything then and there he would come on way too strong. He also wanted to spend hours talking to you about soulmates and everything else that interested you.

Instead he settled for inviting you to stay for dinner.

“You cook?”

“Not at all but I have every takeout menu in a twenty mile radius memorised,” Spencer laughed, “and Penelope bullied me into getting Netflix so we could watch something.”

“They have every season of Power Rangers on there!” Your eyes lit up just as Spencer’s clouded over with confusion. “You seriously never watched it?”

“How about you choose what we watch and I choose the food?”

“Deal.”


	18. Chapter 18

You didn’t manage to convince Spencer of the cultural importance of Power Rangers that night but you were won over by the Chicken Katsu Curry he ordered in for you and ended up staying for a couple of hours.

The next morning Spencer had a spring in his step as he jogged up the stairs of Garcia’s apartment building. He’d sent the technical analyst a quick text offering her a lift into work in the hope he could broach the subject of widening the search into the cult. He’d received a “yeh” in response so he’d stopped for coffee and one of her favourite multicoloured abominations on the way but Spencer nearly dropped both cups when he saw who answered the door.

“Tara? Are you getting ride into work with us too?”

Tara blinked rapidly and then nodded as if in slow-motion.

“…Yes I am. Is that okay?”

“Sure, yeah of course. I’m sorry I didn’t bring any extra coffee…you could have mine!”

“I’m good, I know how sweet you like yours,“ Tara laughed. “Hey Penelope, Reid’s here to give us a lift into work.”

Behind Tara, Penelope screwed up her face in confusion before it slackened and she went pale as milk, eyes wide.

“Your text…”

“It’s super nice of you to offer Spencer,” Tara smiled, “and Penelope it was so nice of you to ask me too since we live so close.”

“Don’t you live on the other side of town?”

“Okay everyone lets go now!” Penelope half yelled, brushing past the pair of them and charging down the stairs. 

“Are you gonna lock you door?” Spencer called after her

A while later they were driving into the parking lot at Quantico.

“A cult? Are you sure?” Tara asked. She was in the passenger seat as Spencer drove. He figured it was safe enough to discuss with her there, she had been so supportive on the Washington case. Spencer nodded solemnly.

“Alex Blake is certain that the letters were written by multiple people,” said Spencer. “They may be a family or tied together another way but they share an extreme ideology and they’re working under a charismatic leader.”

“I’ve widened the search to the whole country,” Garcia said, tapping away at her laptop, “when I get into the office I’ll be able to do more targeted searches. You said Alex was going to look for common phrases and patterns?”

“Yeah but she said it will be hard.”

“Leave it to me boy wonder.”

Spencer had to stop himself racing up the stairs so he could tell you as soon as possible. He knew that with Garcia on board it would feel like less of a futile task. He was practically jumping up and down on the spot in the elevator, like he could transfer his kinetic energy to the building to make it zoom up faster. He practically ran into Emily on his way out.

“I’m so so-what’s wrong?”

“I’m heading to the hospital,” she explained, “Y/N’s been in a car accident. We’re not sure how bad yet”

All the air seemed to leave the room. Tara put a gentle hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality as he struggled to make sense of Emily’s words.

“Spencer should go with you,” Tara said, “we can take care of things here while you two are out.”

“Okay, we’ve been asked to consult on a case in North Carolina but we’re doing it remotely. Rossi is setting up the roundtable room and he’s in charge while I’m gone. Spencer?”

Briefly he tapped his hand over Tara’s on his shoulder, giving her what he hoped was a grateful smile before following Emily out of the office. They sped along in one of the Bureau’s SUV, Emily clearly anticipating that this may turn official at any point.

“So they were run off the road?” Spencer repeated Emily’s story back in disbelief. Several witnesses had seen a dark car ram into yours, forcing you off the road and then speeding off. It had been seemingly unprovoked, coming out of nowhere.

“I talked to Will at Metro PD, he knows the officers assigned to the case and he told them Y/N’s an agent. They’re combing through traffic cams and evidence left at the scene. Will promised to keep us updated.”

A sickening sense of deja vu settled over Spencer the moment he walked into the hospital. He’d lost of how many times he’d been somewhere like this, waiting to find out if someone he cared for was badly hurt. It was like being suspended in mid-air and not knowing when you would get back to solid ground or whether it would be gentle or a crash. 

If Emily felt the same was she hid it well, striding up to the front desk before marching over to a doctor and shaking his hand.

“Dr Etienam,” he said, shaking both their hands, “Y/N is stable, they sustained a minor concussion in the crash and a fractured wrist. All in all it could have been a lot worse. Paramedics said they managed to manoeuvre the car so the crash was not as severe as it could have been.”

“Can we see them?” Spencer asked. Dr Etienam smiled.

“Of course. They’re awake but a little groggy so be gentle.”

Inside the room you were slumped awkwardly against the pillows but you managed a lopsided smile as Spencer and Emily entered. 

“Sorry about missing work,” you mumbled. “Did they catch the guy?”

“I think we can let it slide this one time,” Emily smiled before getting serious. “Metro PD hasn’t managed to track down the driver. They’ll want to interview you in a while but for now they’ve got some witnesses and evidence tech going over the scene.” You nodded and then winced at the pain the gesture caused.

“Do you think…was this a random attack?” You asked when the pain subsided. “I didn’t get a good look at the driver before he rammed into me but he was determined to get me off the road. It felt personal.”

“I’ll get Garcia to pull all your case files and the team can go through them,” said Emily, “excuse me.” She hurried outside to go and call the team while Spencer leaned forward.

“Are you really okay?” He asked. He knew what it felt like to be targeted, especially by someone faceless and nameless.

“Honestly? I’m a little scared,” you bit your lip. “I know it’s stupid but the timing of this…” You trailed off but Spencer understood. There was a cult out there hurting people like you and as soon as you start looking into that there’s an attempt on your life. 

“It’s probably a coincidence,” Spencer took your hand and gave you a reassuring smile, “the timing of it and the fact that you’re in a state of shock means that your mind is making connections without evidence okay?” You nodded, gripping Spencer’s hand tightly but in truth neither of you were certain what he was saying was the truth.

Whoever your attacker was, they’d failed and if it was as personal as you thought it was then there was every chance they would try again.

“Y/N!” At that moment Max flew into the room. “Oh my god are you okay?” Spencer dropped your hand and quickly backed away, allowing Max to come and give you a gentle tug.

“It looks way worse than it feels,” you lied, burying your face in her shoulder. “But I will be milking this for all its worth so prepare yourself.”

“You’re hilarious,” Max said, rolling her eyes even though they were tinged with tears. She blinked, finally noticing Spencer who gave her an awkward wave much to your amusement. “You said it was an accident,” Max said slowly.

“Some guy was being dick so the police are looking into it,” you waved her off, “Spencer and Emily are purely here for moral support.” You shot Spencer a look warning him not to tell Max the truth.

“Yeah its FBI protocol when a team member gets in an accident, even an accident where there was another party. Fidelity and… all that.”

“Uh huh,” Max raised an eyebrow. “Never thought I’d meet anyone who sucked at lying as much as Y/N.” Spencer tried to splutter out some semblance of a response as Max pulled up a seat. “We have another problem. I don’t know how but your Mom’s details must have been included on your records and-“

You didn’t let Max finish before your were struggling to sit up. Both she and Spencer moved to stop you but you brushed them off, sweat pouring down your face.

“You need to wait for the doctor to discharge you. You have a head injury!” Spencer pleaded. You didn’t care, you couldn’t be here when your mother arrived.

“You’re my emergency contact,” why would they even call her?” You asked Max who shook her head helplessly. God damn it, this was the last thing you needed.

“Y/N please. She’s already on her way, she called me as I got here. Once she sees you’re fine I’m sure between the three of us we can stop her getting so…”

“Bigoted? Controlling? Manipulative?”

“I was going to say excitable,” said Max as you finally gave up and settled down against the pillows. 

“Do not tell her you’re my soulmate.” You jabbed a finger at Spencer, his eyes going wide.

“Hey you said it was FBI protocol right?” said Max. You groaned. Your mother was as likely to see through that as Max had been. You prayed that your injuries would be a distraction but you knew your mother and your mother was well acquainted with your countdown. She’d had the exact time and date you would meet your soulmate marked down on a calendar for as long as you could remember. She would know you and Spencer had already met and wouldn’t take no for an answer if your refused to tell her who your soulmate was.

It was honestly the last thing you wanted to deal with right now.

“Okay Rossi, JJ and Luke as handling the consult and Matt and Tara are going through your case files,” Emily strode back into the room. “Dr Etienam says you’ll be discharged by the end of the day.”

“That’s not soon enough,” you practically yelled. 

“”We’ll handle your mother,” said Max, “You must be Emily? I’m Max, Y/N emergency contact.” They shook hands though Emily still looked confused.

“The doctors must have called her. I’m not looking forward to the interrogation she’ll give me.”

“My darling I don’t _interrogate_ ,” your mother’s honeyed voice made you sit up straight despite the spasms of pain the movement sent through you. “I am concerned about you and it looks like I was right to be. How did this happen?”

“Erratic driver,” you said, “clipped me and sent me off that road. It looks worse than it is.” Your mother frowned and just as she opened her mouth to say something Emily cut in.

“SSA Emily Prentiss, Unit Chief of the Behavioural Analysis Unit. Myself and SSA Dr Reid are Y/N’s colleagues,” Emily beamed while shaking your mother’s hands. It only served to make her look more confused.


	19. Chapter 19

“Behavioural… you changed units at the Bureau?” Your mother looked almost betrayed.

“It was a quick transfer and I haven’t had enough time between cases to update you.” You struggled to look at her, not because you felt bad but because you knew how it would look to an outsider. Anger rose in you.

“Did you know?” Your mother shot Max a look, half resentment half accusation. Max didn’t so much as flinch. She was well aware of what your mother was like.

“No,” you lied. “I told you, I’ve been busy. I haven’t really spoken to anyone about it. Now can I just work on getting out of here please? The last thing I need is you accusing my friends of stuff.”

The conflict dancing across your mother’s face was a site to behold. She so desperately wanted to make a scene but you were both aware of Emily and Spencer’s presence.

“Can you at least tell me about your soulmate?” she asked finally. You bit back a scream of frustration.

“Y/N has a concussion,” Spencer said gently. “They need rest. I think this is a conversation for another time.” Before you could feel any gratitude a sense of dread overwhelmed you as your mother’s eyes flicked between you and Spencer. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“Emily where’s Dr Etienam? I want to see if I can get out of here any sooner.”

There was a chorus of protests from Emily, Spencer and Max but finally Emily slipped outside. You grabbed Max’s hand and she gave it a squeeze. You thought your chest was going to burst.

“Maxine dear,” you mother said in her softest voice, “could you give us the room for a second?”

“No,” you said sharply.

“Y/N…”

“If Y/N wants me to stay, I’m staying,” Max said firmly. She gripped your hand tighter. Behind her, Spencer hovered, his entire body tense like he was ready to bolt from the room.

“Okay fine. Maybe she can convince you to be sensible about this. Did you starting your new job coincide with your countdown ending?” You scowled at her. “So one of your co-workers is your soulmate! I’m guessing Dr Reid here?”

“Ma’am…I don’t think this conversation is good for Y/N right now. They’re injured and under a lot of stress-“

“I’m right though aren’t I? Oh!” She half ran around the bed and pulled Spencer into a hug before he could register what was happening.

“Uh sorry I really don’t like to be touched by strangers,” he mumbled as he untangled himself. The look of confusion that flashed across your mother’s face was quickly replaced by a beaming smile.

“We’re not strangers, we’re _family_.”

“Ugh! Mom please, you’re making Spencer uncomfortable. Can you just stop?”

“I want to know everything,” your mother gasped, completely ignoring you, the building tension in the room and the look of horror on Spencer’s face.

“There’s nothing to know. We work together,” you snapped.

“Y/N is a really good agent,” Spencer said. He shrank under your mother’s stare but continued. “Um, they’ve helped a lot of people at the BAU, they’re great with victims and their families. An impressive agent.” Max let out a little ‘aw’, quiet enough for only you to hear. Despite everything, it almost made you smile.

“Well I’m very proud of course but that’s not what I meant. How are you getting to know one another? How is dating? When are you planning on moving in? Though you seem like the traditional type, do you want to wait until after marriage?”

It was like the air left the room. You’d expected a response like this but actually hearing her talk that way was a completely different experience. It was like she’d driven a knife in your chest. Your throat tightened and tears began to prick the corner of your eyes. You hated that she could provoke that kind of response in response you after all this time, after all the hard work you had put into being secure and confident in yourself.

“Ma’am that’s completely inappropriate,” Spencer said. His tone was so sharp both you and Max stared at him. “In fact that’s offensive.”

“Offensive? I-“

“Our relationship, soulmate or otherwise, is no one’s business but ours.”

“I’m their mother!”

“You’re not mine,” Spencer drew himself up to his full height, shoulders squared. “I met you less than ten minutes ago and you think you’re an authority on who I should be living with? Who I should be dating?”

Your mother looked at you, alarmed, silently pleading with you to say something. You shrugged but inside you were buzzing.

“We’re not dating, we’re not seeing each other and we’re definitely not moving in together or getting married. I respect Y/N as an agent and I’ve come to appreciate their friendship and that is as important to me as any romantic relationship. But it’s our relationship, no one else’s. Given what you know about Y/N’s feelings on the whole thing, it’s cruel to talk this way.”

The silence was thick and heavy. Your mother trembled slightly, reeling from Spencer’s words. He in contrast, looked calmer and more assured than he had done since arriving. Max was fighting a smile that threatened to spread across her face and you were biting back tears. This time though they weren’t tears of despair.

“Um…Dr Etienam says he will be by in a moment,” Emily stopped as she entered, the atmosphere obvious. “He’s put a rush on the tests so you could be out in a few hours…”

“Mom I’ll call you later okay?” You sighed, wiping your eyes. She looked like she wanted to argue but thought better. With a mumbled goodbye she left, and you knew you weren’t the only one who felt lighter.

“I think that might be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen,” Max shook her head.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked you. 

“Yeah,” your voice cracked, “yeah I’m good. Thank you for saying all that.”

“It was the truth.”

“I feel like I missed something major,” Emily said. “I think your mom and mine might have a lot in common.”

“Is that so?” you laughed. The difference in the past couple of minutes was astounding. You almost felt better. You still felt like you’d been hit by an eighteen wheeler truck but emotional you felt fantastic.

“Any update from the team?” Spencer asked. Emily glanced at Max who gave you a gentle hug.

“I’m going to grab us some coffees okay?”

“You’re the best.”

After she was gone Emily closed the door and called up Garcia, putting her on speaker phone.

“Y/N are you okay? Are they treating you alright? Do you need any supplies?”

“I’m fine Garcia,” you laughed. “Emily says you have an update on the driver who hit me. Has Metro PD found him?”

“Yes but it’s bad news. He’s dead.” You shifted in the bed slightly, trying to process her words. Garcia continued. “Justin Fields was twenty-two and originally from Massachusetts, he moved to DC two years ago and worked odd jobs. No police record. No living relatives. No social media accounts that I can see but I’m digging. Metro PD got his licence plate from a camera about two miles from where he ran you off the road. When officers got to his house they found signs of a struggle and Fields was dead in his backyard from a single gunshot wound to the head.”

A single gunshot wound to the head. Just like the women in the mass grave in Washington. You looked up at Spencer and you could see your thoughts mirrored in his eyes. Emily frowned.

“Given Fields is dead it’s unlikely your car accident was a random act of violence,” she said, her suspicion clear. “Garcia is going to mine his background but I suspect you two already have a theory.” Garcia made an awkward squeaking sound in shock. “My mistake, make that the three of you.”

“We’ve been looking at the Washington case,” Spencer said. He had the same bearing as when he confronted your mother: authoritative, confident, assertive. His whole demeanour declared: I am right about this and I will not be swayed. “We know Lamb was given orders to kill. I gave the letters to Alex Blake to analyse and she thinks there are multiple writers.”

“A group?” Emily looked at you in disbelief. You nodded.

“When we spoke to her she’d identified three distinct voices. The leader is likely an older male and Blake thinks there is a woman of the same age and a younger man working with him,” you said. Your head was beginning to throb and you were so tired but it was vital you convinced Emily of your theory.

“I uh, I have kind of been writing algorithms for similar crimes in Washington and when I found out about Y/N and Reid’s theory this morning I opened it up the whole country,” Garcia said sheepishly, “A few cases have come up but I haven’t had a chance to look through them.”

“Where?” Spencer asked.

“California, Arizona, and Virginia,” she said, “I’ll know more soon.”

“Virginia is close, can you see if Fields has any connection to the area?” Spencer asked.

“Hold on,” Emily held up a hand, “we’re getting ahead of ourselves. If there is a group of unsubs, how would they even know to target Y/N?”

“They were following the case in Washington.”

“And then we left,” countered Emily. “Why come all the way here?”

“We profiled they were like a cult,” you said, “and mission oriented. We’re getting in the way of that mission.”

“But how could they know that?”

“The alerts.” You both turned to look at Spencer. “Someone in law enforcement in any of the states Garcia has found cases in may have noticed files being accessed. They could have alerted the leader.”

“Dirty, fucking cops,” you groaned, slumping against the pillows. 

“This is all conjecture right now,” Emily said. Spencer went to protest but she silenced him. “You’re going to bring everything you guys have to the BAU and we’ll go through it as a team. Call Alex Blake and ask if she’ll consult. Garcia I need to know everything about Fields and the cases you’ve found. If there’s a connection we’ll find it.”

“You believe us?” Spencer asked.

“It’s a solid theory,” Emily said. “There are too many coincidences around Y/N’s accident but we need to tread carefully, no fitting the evidence to your theory. As a precaution I’m having a security detail posted outside Y/N’s hospital room and then they’re going to bring them straight to Quantico.”

“Music to my ears,” you grinned. At least you wouldn’t have to deal with your mother for a while. Max was another story. You didn’t want her worrying but there was no way she would miss security right outside your room. She wouldn’t buy it being Bureau protocol either.

“If you like, I could explain to Max.” Spencer said gently. You looked at him open mouthed but he shrugged and gave a lopsided smile in response. Was it because he was a profiler or your soulmate?

Or was it because he had a crush on Max and actually just wanted an excuse to talk to her?

That thought actually made you feel a little better.

“She’ll worry,” you sighed. “I don’t want that to be a burden for her.”

“She’s your friend, she’s already worried because you were in a car accident and you’re hiding why.” Spencer’s tone was just gentle enough not to be chiding.

“I should be the one to tell her,” you said, “but I’d appreciate the company.”

“I’ll see you both back at Quantico,” said Emily. “Y/N, you’ll need to take it easy when you get there. I think we’re already pushing Dr Etienam to let you go earlier than he wants.”

But Quantico is safer. It was unspoken but evident to everyone there. You gave a little nod and promised Emily to keep her updated.

“You know Spencer,” you said once you two were alone. “You need to be careful too.”

“I know,” he said. “If they targeted you for the investigation then they will come after me too.”


	20. Chapter 20

Max was as furious as you’d expected when you filled her in on the true reason for your accident. You were grateful that Spencer was there to help you explain things until it became clear he wouldn’t be able to calm Max down either.

“I understand you’re worried about me I do, but this is my job Max,” you pleaded. “Right now there’s someone out there hurting people. Can you wait until we catch him to be mad at me?” Max rolled her eyes.

“What if they get to you first huh?” Max argued. “Someone ran you off the road Y/N! And now they’re dead. You don’t even know who they are!”

“Quantico is the safest place,” Spencer said. “There’s hundreds of highly trained FBI agents in the building and we have the best minds working on tracking down this cult. Y/N will be safe.”

“Can you promise me that?” Max turned to him. You started to protest.

“Max please-“

“Yes,” Spencer said firmly, “on my life.” He stuck out a hand for Max to shake. You weren’t sure what shocked you more. You glared at him over Max’s shoulder. It was stupid thing to promise. He couldn’t guarantee your safety and it wasn’t his responsibility. If something happened to you Spencer would feel like it was his fault and you hated the thought of that.

Before you could say anything else, Dr Etienam returned with your discharge paperwork. Less than an hour later you had given Max the tightest hug goodbye and Spencer was driving you back to Quantico.

“Why the hell did you promise Max that?” You said eventually. “You can’t make a promise like that!” I don’t want to be something else you torture yourself with, you wanted to add but couldn’t bring yourself too.

“Because I meant it!” Spencer said. “And I can. We’re going straight to Quantico and you aren’t leaving until we catch these people.”

“I’m not?” The look on Spencer’s face told you not to argue. You gritted your teeth, slumping down further into the car seat. You weren’t benched but it felt pretty close.

“You’re our expert on this,” Spencer said, his tone more gentle this time, “no one else on the team knows half as much about the soulmate bond as you do. You know what these people will be looking for, you know the types of people likely to make up our potential victim pool and more than anything else you understand them.”

You made a non-committal grunt in response. He was right of course but that didn’t make it any easier.

“But why did you promise Max that?” You asked. “You could have said it any number of ways.”

“I uh…I don’t know.” Spencer looked uncomfortable. “She looked like she needed it. Max cares about you. She asked me to look out for you when we talked at your house. I guess I just felt like I should promise her.” He was very pointedly not looking at you as a blush crept up on his cheeks. You bit back a soft laugh.

“You’ll never be able to ask her out if I die then,” you said, staring out of the window. Spencer made a squeak of surprise and he began to stutter out a protest that had you rolling your eyes. “Max is fantastic, you have great taste.”

“I…we’re in the middle of a…and she’s your…and I’m…” Spencer shook his head. “We need to stay focused.”

“We do,” you nodded, “but once this is all over we need to have a talk about this. Max is my best friend, she deserves to be happy. So do you.” Spencer’s face was unreadable and the rest of the drive to Quantico was silent. It wasn’t uncomfortable but could have sworn you heard the gears in Spencer’s brain going a mile a minute.

As you climbed into the elevator you began to feel a sense of unease creeping over you. You didn’t want to face the team, to have the thing that made you different laid out so openly for everyone to see. You felt exposed and vulnerable.

“It’s going to be okay,” Spencer said quietly but you weren’t sure if it was directed at you or he was trying to reassure himself.

“It’s going to be okay,” you repeated.

You didn’t make it into the hall before Penelope had enveloped you in a hug. She smelled like powdered sugar you realised as you blinked away tears in her fluffy jumper.

“Hey,” you laughed, “I’m okay, but if you hug me any tighter you might crack the rest of my ribs.”

“Joking. You’re telling jokes at a time like this? Really?” Penelope finally released you. “I cannot believe you right now.”

_Hey it was better than crying._

The rest of the team were in the round table with several evidence boards around them and the screens filled with faces you didn’t recognise. Your heart sank.

“All these people are potential victims?” A shared look of discomfort passed round the team.

“Some of them are confirmed,” Rossi said. “For the past couple of hours we’ve been going through the alerts Garcia has been getting.”

“The case in California was one of three suspected to be the work of a single individual,” Emily explained. “Three women have all disappeared in apparent home invasions and abductions in the past four years. On digging further it turns out all of them ended their relationships with their soulmates. No bodies have been found yet.”

“In Arizona it was a similar story but this time the victims were men and their bodies were left at the kill sites. Four men killed in their cars over an eighteen month period. All were shot multiple times. Messier than the Washington murders but all the men had a partner who had broken up with their soulmate to be with them,” Emily explained.

“But there’s a catch,” said JJ. “The police had a suspect. Brad Denner, thirty-eight was seen at the final crime scene and when officers went to his home to question him they got into a shoot out. Denner was killed.”

“Like Lamb and Fields,” Spencer said. “Is there any evidence that Denner was being told who to murder?”

“Local PD didn’t make the connection to the soulmate bond, they thought all Denner’s killings were crimes of opportunity,” Luke said. “But I have a buddy at the Phoenix Field Office and she and her partner went to Denner’s old house. His mother still lives there and she told officers that Brad’s soul mate ran off with another man three years ago and since then his life fell apart. He lost his job and his house and then all of a sudden he started being secretive and going out after dark. She found these after he died.” Luke handed you three evidence bags. Each one contained a typed letter, identical to the ones you and Spencer had found in Lamb’s cabin.

“So we were right,” you said. As certain as you had been in your theory it was something else to be holding physical evidence in your hands.

“You were,” Tara nodded. “We have a group of unsubs that are coercing people into murder because they believe the soulmate bond has been violated in some way. We were able to find murders and disappearances in six other states so far that could be connected to this group.”

“Lamb was the most prolific,” said Matt, “but we may not have found all the accomplices so far. Who knows how many victims there could be?”

Your legs felt shaky. Spencer pulled out a chair for you but as you sat down you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the faces on that screen. People like you who had only wanted to live their lives, who had been killed for being themselves. JJ placed a glass of water in front of you with a tender look while Emily continued.

“So we have a central group and then around that we have god knows how many unsubs acting on their orders,” she said. “Now we need to be careful alerting local PD because they’re the most likely source of information regarding Garcia’s alerts and the continued investigation. It may have just been one rogue officer in Washington but we can’t take that risk. I have a meeting with the director in an hour, I’m going to propose that every field office in the states where we have cases put together an emergency task force that we can co-ordinate from Quantico.”

“In the meantime we need to go for the head. We already have Y/N and Spencer’s preliminary profile and we have Fields, Lamb and Denner, our three known accomplices.”

“The Denner letters are longer than the ones we found at Lamb’s cabin,” you said. “It looks like they expected Denner to do a lot of the stalking and recon work.”

“Which means they could have done that themselves in Washington,” Spencer nodded. “Our unsubs could be from there.”

“It’s the area with the most victims so far,” said Garcia.

“It’s a starting point,” Spencer gave you a reassuring smile, “and with this extra information we can try and find out how they reached out to the killers and how they tracked down the victims.”

“Blake has been working on the Denner letters,” said Emily, “she should be here in the next hour or so with some more information for the profile.”

“So what’s the plan?” You asked. 

“JJ, Matt I want you two to run point at Fields’ house. We need to find the letters he was sent, there may be one prompting him to go after Y/N. Keep us updated. Luke and Rossi, you concentrate on the Washington case. We need to expand that profile now we know it’s part of something bigger. Spencer you did a geographical profile for the area right? Great. We can use that. Then I want you and Tara to start constructing a timeline from the potential victims we have here. That should go some way to giving us a profile.”

“And me?” You were damned if you were going to be left out on this.

“I want to know how these people are recruiting. You know the soulmate bond better than any of us. How would they reach out to people who share their ideals?”

“Online makes the most sense. Outright hatred isn’t so mainstream anymore but like I told Spencer that is a very deep, dark hole.”

“I was born to dig my lovely though I’d prefer to be burrowing for something more pleasant,” Garcia nudged you. “I have some Dark Web leads and between us we can find the most likely holes these creeps have scratched out.”

It was still an impossible task, akin to trying to find a needle in a pile of needles. But something about the way Garcia looked at you made it feel slightly less hopeless. The news that Blake was going to be here to help you as well was reassuring.

“Thank you. All of you. I know that a lot of you…there’s complicated feelings around soulmates.” There were a range of expressions looking back at you. Or staring down at the floor in some cases. “No one deserves to die because of that though. Thank you for caring.” 

There was an odd pause and you knew some of the team were going to protest that of course they cared and you would be eternally grateful that they thought better of it. Empty platitudes were of no help to anyone right now. 

The moment passed and everyone headed to their battle stations. You followed Garcia down to the bat cave. Of all the places to be stuck working on this case, it was probably the best. Coloured lights and flashing toys cast patterns on the walls and ceiling, every surface was covered in knick knacks and they were all wonderfully tactile.

“This one you can just throw against the wall when you get mad.” Garcia winked at you and pressed a pink glitter jellyfish into your hands. For a moment you found yourself thinking of your own soulmate mark and a wave of emotions you couldn’t begin to describe flooded through you.

“I think I’m going to need this,” you said, throat tight. Garcia laid a hand over yours.

“We’re going to catch these people. You’re going to be okay, we’re all going to be okay.” And for the first time you actually believed that.


	21. Chapter 21

There was a tense atmosphere in the roundtable room. Spencer was glad that you were with Penelope in the bat cave. He knew how difficult this whole thing must be for you and as well meaning as the team was, it was easy to feel smothered.

He’d given Luke and Rossi all the info for the geographical profile and they were trying to find any evidence of precursor crimes in the area. It was difficult though. A seemingly random attack on a woman with a soulmate mark may just be a coincidence given how many people had them.

Not that he and Tara were having much more luck with their timelines. All they had been able to determine was that the group had started recruiting killers from across the country at least ten years ago. Lamb’s first victim had been the earliest found so far.

“There’s a gap between Lamb starting killing and the California murders,” Tara mused, “Six years. It could have just taken that time for them to feel confident that they could replicate their success.”

“Or perhaps another stressor?” Spencer rubbed his eyes, “something made them feel like their mission was more urgent?”

“I think I need some air,” Tara groaned, “take a walk?”

Outside the air was cool. The changing of the seasons was always one of Spencer’s favourite times. He loved the processes on display, nature in all her glory powering forward and no person could stop her.

“How are you holding up?” Tara asked as they wandered round the perimeter of the building. Yellow and orange leaves dotted their paths, the ones of the trees mostly green, the change barely upon them.

“Me? I’m fine. I mean I was worried about Y/N and there’s the fact that someone could be watching all of us now and if these people know we’re on to them they might escalate their plans…but other than that I’m fine,” Spencer sighed. “Sorry I don’t mean to unload on you.”

“I understand,” Tara said and then she stopped, looking thoughtful. “I mean…I really understand.”

Spencer looked at her, brow furrowed as Tara carefully rolled up her sleeve to reveal and intricate soulmate mark. Much like his own it wasn’t an image of anything though it sort of reminded of a tree, branches spreading outwards. It was a warmer colour than his too, closer to rose gold than silver.

“I didn’t know,” Spencer said softly. It felt safer than saying the mark looked beautiful.

“I’m really careful about hiding it,” Tara explained, pulling her sleeve down. “I don’t want anyone to know. Didn’t. I think I can trust you,” she added with a grin. Spencer attempted to mirror the smile but he was too overwhelmed by the sheer amount of trust implicit in Tara’s gesture. 

“Please don’t feel like you have to tell me,” he said quietly.

“No I want to. I was married, a long time ago. His name was Daryl and we were both in grad school. I thought I was in love. Maybe I was, but it was the kind of love that makes you blind, makes you miss all the little signs that things are going wrong. It took me a long time to see Daryl was addicted to the pills he was using to get him through the long nights.”

Tara’s gaze dropped to the floor and Spencer felt the now familiar prickle of shame up the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he said, though to who and for what Spencer couldn’t say. Tara shook her head. She had known all about Tobias Hankel and dilaudid. That had come out when he was arrested but no one had ever mentioned it when Spencer was released. He was both grateful and a little disappointed. There was something freeing about admitting the truth. Like Tara was doing now.

“It’s fine. I made my peace a long time ago when I realised love wasn’t enough. I was lucky, Daryl understood in a way. It took years to get a divorce because of the soulmate bond. He nearly died, several times. I think that’s what convinced a judge in the end. My husband remarried and he got clean and sometimes I wonder if this stupid bond is so special why wasn’t I enough to convince him to get help…”

“Because it doesn’t work like that,” said Spencer with a sad smile that Tara returned.

“Because it doesn’t work like that. I saw you reading a book on the Intensity theory. Y/N give you that?”

“Yeah. It helped me find a new way of seeing the whole Cat Adams situation,” said Spencer. “You?”

“I went looking for answers and while I don’t think I’ve found all of them, I’ve found peace. I’ve found happiness.”

“With Penelope?” Spencer grinned. “I am not as obtuse as everyone thinks. Why else where you there so early that morning?”

“A ride?” Tara said innocently, only to dissolve into a fit of giggles so infectious that it wasn’t long before Spencer found himself laughing too. “If I believed in soulmates I think she would be mine,” Tara said eventually when the laughter subsided.

“You don’t believe in them?” Spencer frowned. Wasn’t that like saying you didn’t believe in gravity? The timers and marks were there.

“Sometimes I think it’s a fluke that we’ve ascribed meaning to,” Tara said with a shrug. “People hate not having answers. We can weave the most random chaos into a story through sheer force of will. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean anything,” she added seeing the look on Spencer’s face.

It meant that the meaning could be anything they wanted it to be. 

Spencer was reminded of the way he felt after talking to Blake, after getting the book recommendations from you. There was a lightness inside him.

“Thank you Tara. For everything.”

“No problem. We should head back, we’ve got killers to catch.”

When they returned to the roundtable room it was to be greeted by you and Penelope, worried looks on your faces.

No, worried was an understatement Spencer realised the more he looked at you. You looked like you were fighting back tears and exhaustion in equal measure. 

“So we looked at the largest sites and forums on the web where people…” Penelope looked at you as her voice trailed off.

“So apparently they call themselves Bond Warriors now,” you tried to scoff but it came out thickly. “Y’know because they’re fighting for the sanctity of the soulmate bond? There’s a lot of chest pounding and misogyny and misappropriation of Norse and Roman history. It’s a fucking mess and what’s worse is that these groups are even bigger than I thought.”

“So it will be difficult to find our unsub that way,” Rossi said quietly.

“There may be another way,” said Penelope. “We’ve noticed a kind of icky, frustrating trend. There are calls for real world action.”

“Specifically people calling for a kind of legal enforcement of the soul mate bond,” you sighed, “like forbidding soulmates from divorcing, creating a registry of everyone with marks. It seems like something our unsubs would be drawn to and there are mailing lists and campaigns.”

“A way to get the details of likeminded individuals who may be persuaded to kill,” Spencer’s eyes widened and you nodded.

“It’s a huge list though…”

Spencer’s phone buzzed. JJ and Matt were calling from Justin Fields’ house. Spencer put them on speaker phone and updated the pair of them on what you and Penelope had found.

“We’ll send over Fields laptop ASAP and see what sites he went on,” said JJ. “In the meantime we found some letters and I’ve spoken to local PD. They match up with three disappearances over the last year.”

“Who were the victims?”

“Joseph Patrick, 38. He was real estate agent with a wife and three kids. Janice Tucker, 27 a waitress and grad student and Martha Bianch, 52. She was haematologist who did a lot of volunteer work with the homeless community after her son died on the streets,” explained Matt. “They all had soulmates they were married to or in a relationship with at the time of their deaths,” He added in anticipation of the inevitable question.

“So why were they targets?” You asked.

“Unreconciled bonds,” JJ said with a note of sadness.

“That’s not their fault though,” gasped Garcia, “would the unsub really blame them for that?”

“Fields might,” said Matt. “According to a neighbour his soulmate timer ran down just over a year ago only to find out that his soul mate, a Kathleen Janssen she already had one. They’ve been married five years. We looked her up and she disappeared two weeks ago. Her car was found abandoned by a river.”

The entire room lapsed into a strained silence. You rubbed your eyes, your head throbbing as you struggled to make sense of everything.

“But there wasn’t a letter for her?” Rossi asked.

“No.”

“Fields went off mission,” you said thickly, “that would have pissed off our leader right?” Rossi nodded.

“I’m guessing that guy likes order and control. Attacking you may have been a kind of penance to prove he could follow orders. When he failed he was gotten rid of.”

“Doesn’t that mean he’s here then in DC?” Garcia’s eyes went wide. “He wouldn’t leave that to chance.”

“Fields must have confessed to killing Kathleen and that brought the leader here,” said Tara, “we need to add that to the timeline and it means we need to be even more careful.”

A ripple of curses under breaths was the only sound as the collective brain power of the BAU went into over drive.

The whole thing felt too chaotic to you. You had your central trio, the family pulling the strings, then you had a bunch of strangers they had reached out to and vetted to make sure they would comply with the orders given. And yet the murders were so personal. In Washington Gerry Lamb had killed exclusively women because his wife had left him. In Arizona Brad Denner had killed men who’d taken up with someone else’s soulmate because someone had done that with his wife. They had directed their anger at different parties and so had been driven to kill different people. And now there was Fields and his hatred for the Unreconciled bond.

The leader had to have known the details of their stressors while being sophisticated enough to redirect their anger towards his cause. It was psychological manipulation of the highest order and that was before taking into account he had been able to follow your investigation across the country.

“It’s…” all faces turned to you. “It’s almost super human…”

“No,” Tara said sharply. “It just feels that way because we don’t know who these people are. Once we find them you’ll be shocked at how human, how ordinary they are.”

“The leader is smart,” nodded Rossi, “but we’re smarter and he’s made a mistake already.”

“What?”

“He worked for a long time under the assumption that no one would connect murders across the country with different MOs and victimology,” said Rossi, “Now we have three identified killers The amount of stuff that can connect these three men is limited and he knows that it’s only a matter of time before we work out how he did that.”

“Speaking of which,” a smile spread across Spencer face as he held up his phone, “reinforcements have arrived. Blake’s downstairs and she has more of a profile on our letter writers.”


	22. Chapter 22

Spencer pulled Alex into a tight hug without hesitation as soon as she entered the roundtable room a short while later.

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered in his ear before they broke apart. “I’ve gone through the new letters sent over, the longer ones from Brad Denner’s mother in Arizona.”

“Did anything stand out?” You asked. Blake nodded and handed out copies of her detailed notes, your hands shook as you took them.

“All the letters were written by the same person, I’m convinced it’s the dominant member of the group. The male unsub. I’m sticking with my estimate for his age and I believe he has either a STEM or technical background based on his phrasing. He also has a lot of aggression that he’s good at hiding. It slips out at certain points.”

“Are there any phrases he uses that we could search for?” Garcia asked, breaking into a smile when Blake handed her another sheet of notes. “Dr Blake, astounding as always. I’ll run these through our bond warrior sites and see what we come up with.”

It was coming together. Spencer shot a sideways glance at you. There was the slightest glimmer of hope in his eyes, tempered by the grim reality that this was still an uphill battle. He knew he shouldn’t expect it to be so easy, they still had a long way to go. You however were staring off into the distance, deep in thought.

“In the mean time I had some thoughts about our other unsubs,” Blake continued. “Older man and woman and younger man? Could be a family. Going back over the youngest member’s letters, as they go on I started to see hints of patterns that remind me of our leader. Like he is mimicking him or learning from him.”

“We’re thinking Washington State as a home base,” said Rossi, “how does that square with what you found?”

“There’s aren’t any major clues about regionality,” Blake said apologetically.

“But if they are a family then the stressor could be something that affected all of them,” Luke suggested, “that might help us narrow it down.”

“We should look at people who’ve been exposed to a lot of self improvement, therapy or some kind of programme,” you declared, causing everyone to look at you. “Given what Blake said about his background I don’t think he works in that field but it would explain something else.”

“Why each individual set of murders follows its own pattern,” Tara finished, eyes wide. “This guy knows enough to work out what each recruit would look for most in a victim. Gerry Lamb went after women like his wife. It would have been harder to convince him to kill men. Brad Denner on the other hand harboured a lot of rage against the man his wife left him for.”

“He knew exactly which buttons to press,” you nodded. “They wouldn’t have let their guard down with just anyone. Our leader is skilled at getting people to open up and then winning them over to the mission by exploiting what they went through and redirecting their hatred and anger.”

“My darling Avengers it appears we have a profile!” cheered Garcia and Tara started putting it on the board. Male, 50s, experience with therapy, professional with highly developed personal skills.

“Emily just texted. The director has given the go ahead for a co-ordinated response to this from all field offices,” said Rossi. “JJ and Matt get back here. We need all hands on deck to go through what Garcia finds. Even with a profile it will take some time.”

That turned out to be an understatement. An hour later, with the addition of JJ, Matt and Fields’ laptop, Garcia had picked up twelve separate sites, forums or chat rooms that looked like likely candidates for the leader’s hunting ground. Reading through the bile and hatred made you sick but you powered through. Looking around you, you weren’t alone. Emily had sat down next to you on her return and you caught her giving you worried glances. You tried to give her a reassuring smile back but it wasn’t working.

“Any time you need a break you tell me,” she said quietly enough so no one else heard. You nodded but as much as it exhausted and crushed you, you wouldn’t let up until you had something.

“I may have found something,” said Luke, “there’s a guy using a lot of therapy speak and engaging with some pretty intense rants. He’s using the same handles on three sites so far. Lex Taliomis.”

“The Law of Retaliation, basically an eye for an eye” translated Spencer. “I’ve seen that too…”

Spencer leafed through his pile at lightning speed, spreading out pages before him with large, highlighted sections. Lex Taliomis had injected himself into some pretty heated discussions. It wasn’t obvious at first but he had a way getting these people to spill their life stories with minimal persuasion.

“Fields spoke with him a lot and the language used reminds me of a therapist,” JJ said, bringing Fields’ emails up on one of the screens. “He talks about setting achievable goals and finding ways for Fields to feel fulfilled, accepting what he can’t change and finding new approaches.”

“That’s sinister,” said Blake. “The writing style definitely matches our leader.”

“Lamb interacted with him too!” Tara said, “I have some messages from a now defunct Facebook page. When the page was in danger of being taken down Lex invited Lamb to message him directly. Can we get hold of those messages Garcia?”

“On it! In the meantime I found an anonymous blog post on a hate site that could be written by him.”

“Do I want to know?” You winced.

“I’ll spare you the details but broadly speaking he calls for tighter laws protecting soulmates from prosecution when they commit crimes against one another and he advocates for “an elevated position in society”. Basically he thinks that anyone with a soulmate is an “advanced human being”, we’re the future of the human race and society needs to be rebuilt to accommodate that. Step one would be harsh punishments for those who violated the bond. The writer describes people who break up soulmates’ relationships as being on the same level as murderers and rapists because they’re “attacking the foundations of civilised society”.”

“Okay that’s worrying but also familiar,” you frowned, “there was an essay written in the early 90s I think that called for the same thing. Less extreme language but there was still a huge backlash when she argued that there should be rehabilitation centres for those who left relationships with their soulmates. It had some weird new age cult vibes. Shit what was her name?”

“Could that be the partner?” Spencer asked. “Even in a community like this, two people with such extreme views would know of each other right?”

“The woman definitely uses pseudo-religious jargon in contrast to the leader,” said Blake. “She’s the submissive partner.”

“Yeah this woman was all about “the wife’s rightful place” and shit like that,” you said as you tapped away at your tablet. “Here it is: “A Better World Through Bonds” published in a semi-reputable new age journal in 1995 by Karina Campbell.”

Brought up an online copy of the article and pushed your laptop over to Blake. Frowning, she started to go through the article line by line with copies of the woman’s letters by her side. Your heart was in your mouth and you tore your gaze away reluctantly to fill Garcia in more.

“Her website hasn’t been updated in about fifteen years but it lists her as a ‘spiritual therapist’ and she was attached to a soulmate church back then.”

“Got her. Karina Campbell, fifty three years old. Born in Connecticut to very religious parents. Her mother killed herself and Karina’s two brothers when she was nine by driving off a bridge. Her father remarried twice, there was a history of violence in the house but no charges were ever filed. Karina always stated that her step-mothers were making up claims of abuse.” Garcia’s eyes widened. “Yikes these are some long and vaguely disturbing statements. It’s all ‘my father is a saint’ and he’s ‘taking pity on these poor women and this is how they repay him’.”

“The parents were soulmates and every woman who came after could never live up to that,” you shook your head, “I’d put money on it. Is there any connection with Washington?”

“When she was thirty Karina’s father died and she took her inheritance and started a ‘healing centre’ sixty miles from our mass grave,” said Garcia, “so yeah there’s a connection”

“Okay that’s one. What’s the betting there’s a husband and son?” said Spencer. Garcia frowned and you leaned forward. Something felt wrong.

“No record of a marriage or of Karina having any children. Sorry crime fighters, maybe it’s not her…”

“No it is, it definitely is,” Blake said. “The semi-religious phrasing, use of specific terminology and a lot of reliance on the passive voice. Karina definitely wrote these letters.”

“I’m going to call the Seattle Field Office,” Emily said, “tell them we have a suspect. In the meantime dig deeper. Maybe she lives with a partner or the younger member of the group isn’t a blood relation but got drawn in any way?”

On paper Karina was unremarkable. She paid all her bills on time and her taxes were all in order. What little credit card information Garcia could find indicated she lived very simply.

“Okay there may be something but it’s weird…” Garcia frowned. “A short while after Karina started her therapy business a partner came on board but I can’t find anything on him though. The name George Stephens was on one piece of documentation but that’s it. There’s no social security, no record of if he’s based in Washington or elsewhere. It’s probably an alias and it’s a fairly common name so…”

“George Stephens could be Lex Taliomis,” said Spencer.

“They’re sending agents to Karina Campbell’s place to ask some questions,” explained Emily as she returned, “but interestingly they already knew her. It seems that several “clients” over the years have accused her of defrauding them. No charges have ever been brought and by all accounts the wrote her off as a harmless eccentric.”

You looked at the photo on the about me page of her website. She was mousy-haired with a slight built, and grey, sad eyes despite her smile. She looked like teacher or the woman at church who did the flowers. Nothing about her screamed killer.

You needed air. You needed to go home, have a hot shower and decompress. You needed a break in this fucking case, Hours of research and all you had were more questions and vague assertions. 


	23. Chapter 23

“Y/N?” Spencer shook you awake gently. You could only groan in response. Two nights sleeping on the couch in JJ’s old office at Quantico did your injuries from the crash no favours and they howled in protest as you stretched and stood. Sleep had been evasive, not just because of the couch but because you were anxiously awaiting news from Washington about Karina.

“What’s the time?” You mumbled, wiping the sleep from your eyes.

“10am. Prentiss said you were up until about 4am and I wanted to let you sleep.”

You murmured a thanks. You’d spent all night going through online posts trying to work out where Fields had met the unsubs. You and Garcia had a pretty good idea of Lex Taliomis’s online profile and how he’d drawn in angry, prejudiced people ripe for training as serial killers. You even had a leader on the Colorado killer which you knew should make you relieved but you were no closer to finding out who was leading this group.

“We have an update on Karina. She returned home last night.” That woke you up. Two days before, Emily had told the Seattle field office about Karina but there had been a delay in sending agents to question her and by the time they arrived at her place she had left town according to a neighbour. Then there had been problems getting the warrants to her property.

You followed Spencer back to the round table room where Matt was handing out coffee he’d picked up on his way in.

“Are those bagels? Matt Simmons you are a saint!” Tara gasped.

“We could all use them,” he smiled and handed you a bag of powdered doughnuts with a wink. You could have burst into tears right there if you weren’t so desperate for an update.

“Rossi and JJ left in the jet to go and interview Karina in Washington. State police picked her up in the early hours of this morning with weapons in her car,” Emily explained as everyone settled down. “She’s refusing to answer questions but the agent I spoke says she seemed on edge and distressed.”

“Rossi and JJ will get through to her,” Luke said. “What about her home?” Emily’s mouth was set in a grim line and she pressed a button on Garcia’s bibby, bringing up a video feed on the screen. It was a fairly standard looking dining room except for the case files laid out on the table. The camera moved in closer and a soft gasp echoed around the roundtable room.

“They’re stalking us?” Tara said. There were newspaper clippings, screenshots from press conferences and printouts from online articles about every member of the team. Someone had scribbled notes on them in red pen, too messy to make out.

“It looks like it’s not just Y/N who drew their attention. I have agents posted to everyone’s homes, even Blake’s just in case they’re aware she helped us. Quantico is on high alert. It goes without saying that we all need to be extra vigilant from here on out.”

“It says something about their psychology,” Spencer said, leaning back. You were surprised he was taking this so calmly. Everyone else looked ashen. “We’re the enemy now. Collectively I mean. We’re standing in the way of their mission and their response is to find out everything they can about us. To profile us.”

“They’re convinced they’re the good guys,” you said in disgust.

“The heroes of their story,” said Spencer. “We need to find a way to puncture that. Maybe that will get Karina to talk?”

“Did they find anything else?” Tara asked. Emily Brough up another video.

“There’s clearly other people living here,” said Emily as the video showed a bedroom with a single bed in it. There was a desk and shelves piled with books, art supplies, and knick knacks. Some of it looked handmade. The walls were covered in scrawled quotes in the same handwriting as on the files on the table. On the door were scratches. The agent holding the camera opened it to reveal a padlock on the outside.

“That could be the room of our younger unsub,” said Luke.

“That’s what I thought,” said Emily. “There’s signs of another man in the house. His clothes in the wardrobe with Karina’s, toiletries in the bathroom etc. But no other locked doors like this. There is a basement full of boxes of stuff that they’re going through but it’s chaotic.”

“Why lock him up?” you asked, leaning forward. “If he’s their child are they hiding him? Did they take him or something?”

“They’ve taken DNA to run against Karina’s,” said Emily, “but the neighbour the locals interviewed said that it was known in the area that Karina had a son and a husband but that the husband worked away a lot and the son was very ill. They were all under the impression that he was in some kind of facility or hospital.”

“But instead he was locked up,” said Spencer. “Could this be due to what happened with Karina’s brothers? Maybe she’s trying to protect her child in a warped way?”

“Or this could be Lex’s doing,” you said. “We still don’t know what his motivation is or what sent him on this mission.”

“There’s no photos in the house. There’s belongings there but other than that this guy is a ghost just like the younger unsub…” Emily had a faraway look in her eyes as she trailed off.

“I could try cross referencing school and doctors records,” Garcia said hesitantly, “but if they’ve gone to this much trouble to hide themselves…”

It was unlikely Karina enrolled her child in school or took them to the doctors. There was something deeply unsettling about the whole thing.

For the next few hours you put together an action plan for JJ and Rossi’s interrogation of Karina. There was no doubting she was a true believer. Her childhood had left a deep imprint on her, moulding her into a zealot. You had contacted the journal she had published in and someone had reached out to make contact but the name was fake and the number had been disconnected a long time ago. Garcia suspected it had only been used to talk to Karina and after few months the calls had stopped. It had been in the late nineties. Karina would have been in her early thirties, having lived on her own for a while. In a transition period of her life she would be desperate for connection.

“Rossi and JJ are going to start the interview in around an hour,” Emily announced. “Karina’s been on her own for a while now, she’s on edge and we have details of the various crimes that we think could trigger an emotional response. The locals have set up a feed so we can watch the interview in real time from here and they’ll have ear pieces in so we can feed them information. Everyone take a break so we can come at this with fresh eyes. Y/N, Tara can I see you in my office please?”

You shared a confused look with Tara but the pair of you followed Emily out. If the rest of the team thought it was strange you two were being pulled aside they didn’t say anything though you felt Spencer’s gaze on you.

“Normally I would discuss this with both of yourseparately but we are short on time here,” said Emily, gesturing for you to both sit down. “I’ve been sent a pretty comprehensive catalogue of what Karina and her partners had on the team at our house. There’s a few points of concern…”

“Isn’t the whole thing concerning?” You asked, trying and failing to keep your tone light.

“Yes but the three of us in particular have been…singled out. Tara there was an article from a student newspaper when you were a postgrad. It mentioned you and your ex husband and the fact you were soulmates. There was a note scribbled on it about your divorce…”

There was a brief pause. Your heart was slamming in your chest but Tara just nodded slowly, eyes closed in a serene manner.

“I should call him and warn him,” she said finally with a sigh. 

“I’ll send agents to his house,” Emily said. “Y/N about twelve years ago your mother was involved with a group called “Protect the bond”?”

“Oh my god,” your head fell into your hands. “I knew she got their newsletters and stuff but was she a member?”

“It looks like it,” Emily frowned. “What is it?”

“A group for people - mostly overbearing parents - worried about ‘the younger generation’ not respecting the soulmate bond enough,” you groaned. “They fund these godawful PSAs and run workshops and summer camps. They have a phone line where parents can call for help and I’m pretty sure my Mom spent so long talking to them she bankrolled them for the year.”

“There’s a transcript…” Emily said gently. “Your mother phoned them and gave details about…how you felt about your soulmate mark. Somehow Karina got hold of it. We’ve sent agents to your mother’s house too.”

“I guess it makes sense they would reach out to nut jobs like Protect The Bond,” you sighed, “and they would want to know if some of us were enemies in more than one sense.”

Emily swallowed, staring down at her hands. She clenched and unclenched her fists a few times.

“You don’t have to tell us,” you looked sideways as Tara who nodded in agreement.

“I outed your secrets,” said Emily. You shrugged.

“I think everyone already worked out that I’m not the world’s biggest fan of the soulmate bond,” smiled.

“And I spilled the beans earlier this week,” said Tara, “what’s two more people knowing? Especially two people I trust.”

“On the plus side we know who their police contact is. A detective named Murphy milked his contacts at the Seattle field office to find out about an undercover op that I did prior to joining the BAU,” Emily explained.

“I hope the fucker’s in custody,” you said darkly.

“He is but he still managed to give them some information. Years ago I was sent uncover to investigate a former IRA captain turned arms dealer named Ian Doyle. When we set the meet I realised he was my soulmate.”

Just like you and Spencer. You thought back to that first day and how gentle and patient Emily had been with you. The whole thing must have brought back horrible memories.

“I sent him to prison but long story short he got out and came after me. It was…a difficult time. I don’t…it’s hard to talk about. The team know, ask them about my…temporary leave of absence and they’ll fill you in. I just wanted you both to know that’s in the same boat as you. The director isn’t pulling us off the case but we’ll be staying at Quantico while the rest of the team goes into the field. We’re the most likely targets and the danger of collateral is too high if we’re attacked.”

“I understand,” you nodded, “and thank you for telling us. I know how hard it is to talk about.”

“It’s a scar, not an open wound,” Emily said with a sad smile, “but I’ve learned to live with it. Doyle is dead, I’m not.”

“Sounds like a win,” said Tara, “and we’re going to win again. We have Karina in custody and the profile points to her as the weakest link in this chain.”

“Tara’s right, between us we can at least get enough to find out who is calling calling the shots and we have an advantage right now,” you said.

“Which is?”

“He’s scared, I know it. That’s why they gathered this intel and it’s why they got Fields to try and take me out. They read up about us and knew they didn’t stand a chance.”

Tension ebbed from the room, replaced by a swell of confidence at your words. You meant every single one of them. It was like a fire had been lit in your chest. You and the Bau were going to take this people down. 


	24. Chapter 24

The entire team sat in tense silence as the Garcia brought up the feed of the interrogation room in Washington. Karina sat opposite JJ and Rossi, arms crossed protectively over her chest, eyes darting between the pair of them.

She had lost the hippy look from the photo on her website. Dark circles ringed her eyes and she looked gaunt and hungry like a starving animal. 

“Okay Karina here’s the deal,” Rossi barked as JJ pushed a glass of water in front of Karina. Good cop, bad cop it was then. “You’re looking at a lot of time for those unregistered weapons. You’re going to prison and that’s a fact. Right now however we’re in the middle of an investigation we’re pretty sure you can help with. Now I don’t care one way or another, we’re good at what we do and it’s only a matter of time before we find your partner and your boy-“ Karina’s gaze bored into Rossi at the mention of her son but she said nothing, “-but there’s other people who think we should give you the opportunity to help in exchange for time off your sentence.”

Silence. Tension rippled through Karina’s shoulders and her nails dug deeper into her arms.

“Here’s what we know,” JJ said gently. “We know that you lost your mother and your brothers in terrible circumstances. We know your father remarried women who were cruel. Your entire world was upended and you suffered because your parents couldn’t honour the simplest, most profound force in the universe. That must have been difficult, no one should live like that.”

JJ touched her bare arm lightly, stroking the soulmate mark with her fingers. Though she was facing away from the camera Spencer could picture the exact look on her face. It was the one she got whenever she spoke about Will and the boys. 

“This is going to work,” he whispered to you. You’d sat in tense silence since the interview started, your leg bouncing under the table. There was doubt in your expression when you looked at Spencer but he nodded. JJ and Rossi could do this.

“You believe this is some moral crusade right?” Rossi leaned back in the chair. “You believe that people who don’t feel the same way you do are what? Wrong? Evil? Corrupt? You believe they deserve to die.”

“Gerry Lamb in Washington. Brad Denner in Colorado. Justin Fields in DC. All of them were contacted by letter urging them to hunt down and kill people who rejected the soulmate bond. We got word that your home computer contains the files for the letters,” JJ said and Karina’s eyes widened.

“I know right?” Rossi said. “You think you can delete files and its like they never existed but they leave a trace. Isn’t technology wonderful?”

“Is that strictly true?” Luke asked and Garcia shook her head.

“Local PD couldn’t find anything on the PC but judging by Karina’s reaction she’d not tech savvy enough to know that.”

“We’ll find more messages,” said Rossi, “we have agents up and down the country breaking down doors and bringing in your hired thugs.”

“They aren’t….thugs.” Karina’s outburst died before if even started.

“What are they?” JJ asked quietly. Karina paused for a moment, mouth twisted and tears welling in her eyes.

“Crusaders.”

Rossi let out a harsh laugh.

“You don’t understand, you’re just like the rest of them,” snapped Karina.

“Fourteen dead women in a mass grave here in Washington alone and how many more slaughtered, beaten, disappeared elsewhere? All because they didn’t live their lives in a way you deemed appropriate.”

“You know what the worst thing is?” Rossi leaned forward. “You and that partner of yours are too cowardly to do this yourself. You’re not a crusader are you? You skulk and hide in the shadows and get others to do your dirty work. If you were a true believer you’d do it yourself.”

“Laurence and Brian both did,” Karina snapped and as soon as the words escaped her lips the colour drained from her face.

“Garcia?” Emily asked.

“On it but there are lots of Brians and Laurences in DC, I need more information…”

“Your husband and son?” JJ asked gently. Karina began to sob. “You’ve been through so much. You have a chance to end this all now.”

“We’re already going to,” Karina cried.

“That doesn’t sound good,” said Tara, “there’s an endgame here. Do we know any more about the guns that Karina was carrying?”

Luke grabbed his tablet and began to swipe through.

“Locals said she bought them from a local dealer, serial numbers all filed off.”

“She’s not gunning anyone down,” said Matt, “at least not yet. So she’s planning something and her husband and son are still involved.”

“What if they came to DC to scope out a target,” Emily asked, “a big one?” All eyes turned to you, deep in thought.

“I mean there are some groups that meet in person but not huge. The community is largely online…” you frowned and then your eyes grew wide as you fumbled round the table for some papers. Before you had found them Spencer realised what you were looking for.

“Their research into the BAU. You think they’re coming here?”

“That would be a suicide mission,” said Matt.

“The Messiah tried it,” Spencer said darkly.

On the screen JJ had reached over to take Karina’s hand. She hadn’t pulled away but she was still crying. Was she not expecting to see her husband or son ever again or was it tears over Rossi’s taunt? Did she feel like a failure? 

A growing sense of panic was taking over Spencer. Everything was so muddied.

“There’s a map of Quantico on the table,” you said, holding up a printout of the video you’d seen. “As well as information about the surrounding area. These people are smart. If they’ve come to DC it’s to scope us out. They don’t have the weapons yet. I don’t think they asked Fields to take me out. I think they wanted him to do recon and they killed him for going too far.”

“Garcia can you pull all the security cameras around Quantico for the past week?” asked Emily. “I want to know if they managed to get close enough.”

“I can, it will take some time though. Can we get Anderson in here to help?”

“Do it.” Emily spoke into the microphone, addressing Rossi. “Dave the endgame is Quantico. Her partner and son are here in DC to do recon. Tell her we know and give her an ultimatum.”

“Okay Karina we know you and the rest of your family are planning to attack the BAU for stopping your mission. That’s what the guns are for. Agent Jareau and I are stepping out of this room for thirty minutes. In that time you’re going to decide whether you son lives or dies. You can either tell us where to find them or every cop in Virginia is going to be on the lookout for him and your partner.”

Without another word they stood up and left the crying Karina. The screen went black.

“Will she go for it?” Luke asked. “She’s in pretty deep.”

“She is,” said Tara, ‘but her concern for her child may override that. It comes down to whether she values him over the mission.”

“We need a plan if Karina doesn’t take the bait,” sighed Emily. Spencer felt a pang of sympathy for her as she rubbed her eyes.

“If they came here in the past week I will get their faces and send it to every cop on the East Coast,” said Garcia. “I can run facial recognition and in the mean time I’ve been searching for any records of Laurences or Brians around Karina’s life.”

“Why hide her son? That’s what’s still confusing me,” said Matt.

“Distrust of the authorities?” You suggested. “They live as far removed from society as you can without being completely off the grid. Karina is the only one that has any contact with people. What if that has something to do with the partner’s motivation?”

“Okay Y/N, Spencer and Matt I want you three to spend the next thirty minutes going through all the Lex Talionis material that we attributed to this unsub to see if we can get any more clues to his identity. Tara and Luke, we’re going to call all heads of local law enforcement and-“

“I’ve got them!” cried Garcia. The room went quiet as everyone processed her words. On the screen she pulled up a CCTV photo of a car in the Quantico parking lot. Zooming in you could make out a young man with similar features to Karina, hair scraped back in a ponytail. The man in the driver’s seat was older and something tugged at your memory though you weren’t sure what it was. He had dark, intense eyes and there was something predatory in the way he held himself, like an animal waiting to strike.

“This was from the morning of your accident,” said Garcia, “and then they returned last night. All they did was drive round and leave.”

“We need to get the pictures out there ASAP Garcia!”

“On it boss! I’ll run them through the databases in Washington too.”

“Okay we have thirty minutes before Rossi and JJ go back in there,” said Emily, “let’s get as much as we can on these two.”

Your mind was all over the place as you, Spencer and Matt went through all of Lex’s online activity. It was coherent, not rambling and the three of you agreed that it supported Alex’s theory of a technical background. Garcia had promised to run the photo against college yearbooks but so far nothing and Matt had wondered whether he had avoided being too noticeable even before meeting Karina.

It felt like you were hunting a ghost. You had a face, a family and so far two aliases and yet you still didn’t know who this was. So why did he feel so familiar?

“I need coffee, how about you two?” you asked.

“I’ve had three cups already,” Matt winced, “but thank you.”

Spencer nodded and followed you out to the kitchen area. You rolled your shoulders while you prepped but the muscles were tightly knotted, cracking with your movements.

“You’ve been…preoccupied,” Spencer said carefully. He grabbed two mugs and the sugar, setting them out carefully. “I’m not saying you’re not doing job but it just seems like you’re grappling with something?”

“Lex. He looks familiar,” you said with a sigh. “There’s gaps that we can’t fill. Why is he so hard to find? Why live the way they do? Did they reach out to more people? If they didn’t what happened during that six year gap of getting Lamb to kill for them and them finding someone else?”

You half threw the spoon into the mug, the high pitch sound cutting right through you.

“We don’t need all the answers now,” Spencer said gently, a hand finding your sagging shoulders. “We just need enough to catch him.”

“I know and maybe it’s just because this feels so…personal.” You poured the coffee, breathing the bitter aroma. Some time since joining the BAU you had become to find the smell pleasant, even comforting. “God that makes me sound so weak…”

“No,” the sharpness of Spencer’s tone shocked you. “You might be a lot of things but weak is not one of them. Since the moment I first met you it was clear you’re one of the strongest people I know.”

“Since the moment you first met me?” You raised an eyebrow. “You mean when I was puking my guts up in the bathroom just down the hall because I was so terrified of meeting you?”

“I mean when you turned round and told me exactly who you were and what you wanted from life,” said Spencer. “When you listened to me confess my deepest darkest secret and made it clear you didn’t condone what I did but you still decided to work here and give me a chance.”

You swallowed thickly, your throat clicking. It felt so long ago. The people in that bathroom had been strangers and now…

“Y/N?” Spencer asked, “Y/N you’ve gone pale.”

“I’m so stupid.” The realisation was like a tidal wave, how could you have not realised? “It was the first conversation we had. It’s…God it’s probably the most significant…fuck!”

You tore off back to the roundtable room, coffee unpaired, anger at yourself mixed with the jubilation of working it out. Spencer was hot on your heels, arriving just in time to hear you announce to the room…

“I know who Lex Taliosen is! I know our unsub’s identity.”


	25. Chapter 25

“I know who Lex Taliomis is! I know our unsub’s identity.”

Everyone froze as you burst into the roundtable room. Garcia let you take the bibby from her hand and bring up the security footage from the parking lot. You felt like kicking yourself, the resemblance was obvious.

“I knew I recognised him…”

“Who is he?” Spencer followed you to the screen, frowning, “and what does this have to do with the first conversation we had?”

“We talked about how the soulmate bond can put you above the law right?” You said, “we talked about the first case, the most famous case in the US of that. Larry Turner killed his wife in 1979, confessed and still got off.”

“Karina called them Laurence and Brian,” Luke said, “Larry is short for Laurence.”

“Wait a sec wasn’t Turner in his fifties back then?” Tara held up her hands, “Y/N this guy is too young…”

“Larry Turner Jr,” you grinned. “The Turners’ twelve year old son was the one who found his father with his mother’s body. He was on some kind of school trip and ended up being dropped off by a teacher two days early because he was unwell. Larry Sr had been lying with his wife’s body in the living room for four days, I read a report that said the boy went into shock. He couldn’t communicate with first responders or police. It was months before he said a word.”

“That’s a hell of a stressor,” said Emily, “to walk in and find your parents like that? And when they were soulmates, it makes sense that he would want to kill people who he saw as being like his father. We need to find out what happened to Larry Turner Jr after the murder. Garcia?”

“On it boss, though I’m guessing super agent here may already have an inkling?”

You shook your head. The boy had effectively been hidden during Turner’s trial. The entire world had been focused on the proceedings and as far as you knew Larry Jr had been kept out of the limelight. Then had come the fallout when Turner was acquitted. He’d had to change his name and go into hiding. You’d always assumed that his son had gone too and you told the team as much.

“Not according to this,” Garcia frowned, “okay there’s lots of redacted stuff here but from what I can make out Turner Sr had some kind of massive breakdown after the trial. He wasn’t relocated he was hospitalised and his son was adopted by his late wife’s sister but within a year he had been placed in the foster system.”

“Why?” You asked. Disciplinary reports and medical files popped up on the screen by the security footage. Fights at school, truancy and multiple visits to the emergency room with fractures and broken bones. And lots of brutal “psychological treatments” to control his behaviour.

“He was lashing out and the stigma attached to his father’s crime must have been immense,: said Spencer, “I’m guessing he was given a new identity in the foster system?”

“You guess right boy wonder. Larry Turner Jr became George Turner and he was placed with the Stephens family. George Stephens was the name I found in the paperwork for Karina’s business!”

“It’s got to be him!” You felt electricity buzzing through your veins.

“He never legally changed his name to Stephens so it would have been difficult to connect the dots,” Garcia carried on typing frantically. A driver’s licence, undergrad and master’s degree certificates and a record of employment flashed up on screen. “He studied engineering in Washington State, he’s a freelancer specialising in demolitions and working with several business up and down the West Coast, travels a lot and the only address on file is a PO Box. Bank records are clean but…hello…”

“Garcia what is it?” Tara asked.

“Six years ago he received a large sum of money. £250k.”

Six years ago was when Turner and Karina had begun to seek out other killers apart from Lamb, when they had made the choice to step up their mission. Something must have happened, something big.

“Inheritance?” You wondered allowed, causing everyone’s heads to turn towards you. “I…No one knows what happened to his father. He vanished. Could he have-“

“You’re right,” Garcia cut in, bring up a death certificate. “Six years ago Larry turner Sr died from cancer. He’d been sick for about four years.”

“That’s what prompted him to start persuading people to kill,” Spencer said. “His father got sick and he couldn’t punish him for what he did to his mother then when his father died he began expanding his mission.”

You didn’t think it was possible to feel both elated and nauseous at once as everyone sprang into action. Tara was on the phone to Rossi and JJ, relaying everything you had just learned and Emily called up the brass to get the information filtered out to the task force and field offices. The ghost had a name to go with the face. You had the motive, the story behind this whole thing which meant you were closer to finding Turner and stopping him and yet it felt like there was a stone in your chest.

You couldn’t explain it. Perhaps the horror of the whole thing was too overwhelming. Perhaps you had gotten used to thinking of him as a monster in the shadows that it was unsettling now to see he was just a man.

“You okay?” Spencer asked gently.

“I…don’t know,” you answered honestly. “We still haven’t caught him.”

“But we will, we have the pieces now,” Spencer gave your shoulder a squeeze. “He’s come to us, he’s out of his comfort zone.”

“It’s risky.”

“His mission is threatened,” said Spencer, “his entire life has been constructed around this and then we closed in on him. He’ll make a mistake.”

“Or he could lash out.” You almost couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud.

“We’ll get to him before he can do that,” said Emily. “Turner doesn’t now we know who he is. Garcia can you get hold of his financials, is there a paper trail to DC?”

“It’s shady stuff boss lady but I’ll see what I can dig up.”

“In the meantime our twenty minutes are up. JJ and Rossi are going to go back in and see if we can rattle Karina into telling us where they are,” Emily grabbed the bibby and brought the video feed from the interrogation room back online. You were all still working as JJ and Rossi re-entered the room but you could sense the tension as everyone kept one eye on the screen while going through their tablets or papers.

“Okay Karina,” Rossi sat down first, leaning forward, “have you thought about what we said.”

“I have,” she said calmly, a far away look in her eyes. It sent chills rippling across your skin. “I know what you think of me, of us and our work. You think we’re monsters. What we’ve had to do…is extreme. I know that. If it were easy then anyone could do it but it falls to us because we have the strength, the conviction, the drive to do this.”

“So you know you’re hurting people,” JJ leaned back. “How does it make you feel?”

“How does your job make you feel agent Jareau?” Karina asked.

“Oh she isn’t seriously comparing being a serial killer to catching them is she?” groaned Luke. 

“Tired,” JJ answered, “sad for all the terrible things that people can do to each other and for all the people we can’t save. And relieved for those we can.” Karina spread her hands, in an “as do I” gesture that made your blood boil. You weren’t the only one.

“Do Laurence and Brian feel the same way?” Rossi asked. That got Karina to turn to him sharply, brow furrowed. “With Laurence it makes sense…given his childhood.” Karina’s eyes widened. That was all the conformation you needed.

“When did he tell you?” JJ asked. “It wouldn’t have been straight away. He worked hard to distance himself from his father’s crime and the trial.”

“I’m guessing he approached you about the manifesto you wrote for that New Age journal and then after oh let’s say six months of correspondence he dropped the whole “I’m Larry Turner’s son” bombshell,” said Rossi. “Is that why your son was hidden away? He wanted Brian hidden from the world like he was?”

“Brian was protected,” Karina snapped. “Can you even begin to imagine what life was like after the trial? The entire world looked on and judged and mocked. Doing what you’re doing right now. Picking apart everything trying to figure out what went wrong. We didn’t want that for Brian. Laurence knew what kind of pain was out in the world.”

“And you,” JJ leaned back, “you lost your mother too.”

“Are you enjoying this? Causing pain?”

“No,” Rossi cut in. “We’re not. Not at all. The last thing I want is to come back into this room with news that Brian is hurt or dead but that is the way it’s going if Laurence goes through with his plan to attack Quantico. If Laurence gets your son killed then he’s no different from the father he hates.”

“Hates?” Karina’s brow furrowed. “You think Laurence hates his father? Larry was his hero. He loved him more than anything else in this world. When Larry got sick and then when he died I thought I’d lose him to the grief. It took everything I had to pull him out of it, to get him to refocus.”

Alarm rippled through the roundtable room. You’d been totally wrong about Turner’s motivations and Karina’s passivity based on the wild look in her eyes in that moment.

“She was going to leave him.”

“Laurence’s mother?”

“Yes. That…woman was going to walk out on her soulmate because she had found someone else. God gave Larry the strength to make things right and the world punished him for it.”

“He got off.” You could hear JJ fighting the urge to shout. “He walked free. His guilt-“

“He wasn’t guilty. He was acting in accordance with the rules of nature. He corrected a wrong. The courts eventually saw sense but the torment and the ridicule was too much to bear. He was a martyr.”

“Karina-“

“No!” She slammed her hands down on the table. “We are all willing to die for this cause. You can do whatever you like to me. I am never telling you where they are.”

That was it. No matter what JJ and Rossi tried they couldn’t get Karina to open up. Eventually a guard came and took her away and Karina grinned the entire time.

“I’m so sorry guys,” JJ turned to the camera, eyes glassy.

“You tried,” Emily said. “We need to change tactics. So their initial plan was to get people to kill for them, eliminating people who go against their beliefs. Then the BAU became the focus of their investigation. They’ll find out soon enough that we have Karina so the question is what is their back up plan?”

“Something deadly,” said Spencer. “Karina said they were all willing to die for the cause.”

“They’ve scoped out Quantico but they have no weapons,” said Tara. “Laurence was an engineer right?”

“Yeah and…oh”

“Garcia?”

“He has expertise in demolitions,” Garcia looked up from her screen, her face pale. Emily didn’t have a chance to issue the order before the technical analyst was hunting for thefts or purchases of explosives and demolition equipment.

“We need to set up a perimeter around Quantico, stop anyone getting in or out. Luke and Matt can you co-ordinate with local PD?” Emily asked. “Spencer you and Y/N-“

She was cut off by your phone ringing, Max’s name flashing up on the screen. She knew you were in the middle of a case, it had to be an emergency. Then the ringing stopped and a text message flashed up. 

You dropped the phone, the room spinning.

“Y/N, hey there. You okay?” Matt guided you gently into a seat as Spencer snatched up your phone.

“We have her,” he read aloud, “the proof of your deviance. We will call to arrange terms.”

“How?” You began to hyperventilate. “How could they know about Max? I need to go, I need to-“

Matt gently by firmly grasped you by the shoulders as you went to stand. Emily planted herself firmly in front of you.

“That’s what they want,” Emily said. “It’s a trap.”

“I don’t care!” You shouted. “They have Max!”


	26. Chapter 26

It took the combined efforts of the entire team to try and calm you down. Spencer’s heart ached to see you in such distress but he was also worried for Max. Emily had dispatched Matt and Luke to meet up with local PD at Max’s apartment but it looked like she hadn’t made it home from school that day. There were no signs of a struggle and her neighbours hadn’t noticed anything strange. When Luke and Emily had spoken to her colleagues at the school nothing had stood out to them that day.

“They must have taken her on the way home from work,” Spencer said. Tara sat with her arm around you as you sobbed quietly.

“They said they would call. Why haven’t they called?” Spencer wished he had an answer for you. His stomach was twisting into knots at not being able to help. He had promised Max he would keep you safe but you were tearing apart inside.

“Emily and Luke are on their way back,” Garcia came into the roundtable room. “I’m trying to find out how they new who Max was. I’m guessing that they watched us all.”

“The coffee shop. A few weeks ago Max and I met for coffee at the weekend and she mentioned someone was watching us!” You said, eyes wide. “But that was ages ago. Could they have been in DC that long?”

“Gimme the address, I’ll search security footage from the surrounding streets,” Garcia held out her hand and led you to the bat cave. Your phone was still on the table and Garcia gave Tara a pointed look.

“Y/N will want to hear that call,” said Spencer.

“She will.” Tara grabbed the phone. “But I’m going to have Anderson set up a trap and trace first. Maybe we’ll get lucky. In the meantime, how are you holding up.?”

Spencer looked at Tara in surprise. He wasn’t really the focus here, Max was your friend. And yet that connected her to him.

“I want to be able to fix this,” he said eventually. “I just don’t know how. It feels like these people are ten steps ahead of us.”

“And it feels personal,” Tara nodded. It did, Spencer couldn’t ignore that any longer. He was just as much a target of their hatred as you.

As was Tara he realised, and Emily. He remembered how pointedly they had all ignored the implications of the Doyle case when Emily had returned. Upon her eventual return as Unit Chief there had been other things hanging over them and so it had remained in the background.

“It is a trap,” Spencer said slowly. “If we go and rescue Max then we’ll be out in the open. They know about our personal lives, the way they think we’ve transgressed. It’s as much about punishing us for our sins against the bond as it it stopping us because we’re standing in the way of their mission.”

“Yeah that’s what I thought,” sighed Tara, “we’re playing right into their hands but we can’t leave Max.”

They were stuck. Spencer felt a sick sense of deja vu. Another psychopath had suckered him into playing a game he couldn’t win.

In the bat cave you watched dully as Garcia set up search after search, switching between screens and running through information at break neck speed. Your own thought process was like walking through molasses and you were grateful that every atom of her superhuman abilities was focused on finding Max.

“If something happens to her I’m not sure what I’m going to do,” you said quietly, earning you a shush from Penelope.

“We always win in the end.”

“But-“

“But nothing. Max is going to be fine. Boss lady?”

Emily was in the doorway, looking the most tired you had ever seen. The words “they’re calling” were barely out of her mouth before you were sprinting down the corridor towards the bullpen. Anderson had set up a trap and trace and everyone was gathered round your desk.

“Stay calm,” Emily ordered. “They want you to lose your cool.” You nodded and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Agent Y/N.” The man’s voice was gravely. It must be Laurence. 

“I’d like to speak to Max. I want to know she’s okay.”

“She’s fine.” You looked at Emily who gave a small nod.

“Prove it.”

There was a pause and a muffled sound. Were Laurence and Brian arguing? 

“Y/N?” Max ’s voice was trembling, thick with tears. “Y/N I’m sorry. This guy flagged me down, I thought he needed help-“

“Okay that’s enough,” a different voice said, younger and more nasal. Brian. 

“We’re willing to do an exchange. Your…friend here for Karina,” Laurence said. Emily scribbled something on a piece of paper for you to read.

“Karina is in custody on the other side of the country,” you explained. “It’s going to take time.”

“Four hours,” said Laurence. “We’ll send you an address an hour before the meet.”

The line went dead before anyone else could say anything. You buried your face in your hands and Tara put a reassuring arm around you.

“We know Max is alive and we know she’s probably unharmed. She would have said otherwise,” Tara said. “And he’s given us enough time to track her down.”

“He must know his request for Karina to be released is never going to happen,” frowned Matt.

“We think it’s a trap to take out the team,” explained Spencer. “It’s why Laurence wants to give us the address at such short notice.”

“Obviously we can’t let that happen, we need to find out where they’re holding Max before the meet,” said Emily. “We also can’t bring Karina here and risk endangering anymore lives.”

“They somehow know she’s in custody though,” said Luke, “so they’ll know if we don’t transport her.”

“So we’ll make it look like we did,” Emily said. “Okay here’s what we’re going to do. We need to work out where Laurence and Brian could be hiding. They’ve been in DC longer than we thought and probably visited multiple times in the lead up to this. Matt will help you and co-ordinate with local PD. Tara, Luke go back through everything that we have on Laurence, there may be a clue there. I am going to brief JJ and Rossi and see if we can find a way to convince Turner we’re complying.”

“What about me and Spencer?” You asked. “Please Emily, I can’t sit here and do nothing.”

“I’ve had the locals in Washington send over everything they had on us at Karina’s house. We can profile them by how they profiled us,” said Emily. Spencer wasn’t sure what good that could do but you needed to be busy right now. As everyone went to their battle stations he pulled you aside.

“It feels stupid to ask how you’re doing,” he said softly, “but I’m going to anyway.”

“She apologised,” you said, lip trembling. “Max has been kidnapped and the first thing she said was that she was sorry for pulling over to help someone she thought was in trouble. I can’t…it’s just…” You threw up your arms, face twisted in torment. “I always bug my friends about stuff that doesn’t seem dangerous to them. Max always took me seriously and I hate that she felt she had to apologise for doing a good thing. I hate that doing that could mean she…” You shook your head, unable to continue.

“The entire team is working on this. We will find her, I promise.”

Spencer had done it again, made another promise that realistically he couldn’t guarantee keeping. But the look in your eyes, not hope but something close enough, made it worth it.

The pair of you spent the next hour going through every scrap on information Laurence and his family had collected on the BAU. The Doyle stuff brought back some tough memories but nothing compared to the feeling that washed over him when Spencer saw they had a redacted version of the Cat Adams report. Half of it was blacked out but both their names were there and while it wasn’t stated outright any one would see the implication of the soulmate bond.

Spencer pushed the file away in disgust, but no before you had glanced over. You face softened.

“I’m sorry. I know this is hard for everyone, not just me.”

“If anything I’d think Laurence would approve,” Spencer said, mouth twisted. “He thought his father did the right thing by killing his mother. Maybe he’d think this was the right thing too.”

“Let’s not go down that road,” you frowned. “Their whole ideology is twisted and inconsistent. They just hate and use that as an excuse. Look at how the interrogation with Karina went. It doesn’t matter what we say or do.”

“They’d think of us as hypocrites anyway.” Spencer waved a hand at the collected files. There were rambling notes pinned to photos, hasting sketched out diagrams guessing at the team’s connections and soulmates. The family had gathered information on most of the team’s social circle. 

“Max isn’t here,” Spencer frowned. “Look they have Matt’s children listed, they have stuff on Will but Max’s name doesn’t come up anywhere. You said they watched you at a coffeeshop?”

“Yeah a couple of weeks back. I go there with Max all the time, she loves the cakes.”

“But they didn’t think her being there was significant otherwise there would be a note of it here,” Spencer frowned.

“So why did they decide to take her?” You cried. “She’s not an agent, she has nothing to do with case.”

“I think I know,” Garcia said quietly as she appeared in the doorway of the roundtable room. Tara and Luke followed her in as Garcia took over the screen. “He looks familiar.” She pointed to the security footage that was playing. It was a hospital corridor, the exact hospital you had been taken to after your car accident. When your mother came striding down the hall Spencer realised it wasn’t just the same hospital but that exact day. Outside your room a young, dark haired man hovered around in an orderly’s uniform, completely ignored by everyone around him.

“That’s Brian from the Quantico video right?” Tara said. “He was working there?”

He must have hung around when you were brought it, listening and realising you and Max were close. Given what he and his father already knew about the team and overhearing the argument with your mother, Brian must have seen Max as an impediment to yours and Spencer’s bond.

“How easy is it to get a job in a hospital with no records?” Spencer asked.

“There’s a Brian Campbell on the volunteer list,” Garcia said. “He provided a short CV that lists hospitals in Idaho and Washington, he works on the children’s ward, no disciplinary issues. Actually there’s some commendations for good work here and a note saying they wanted to offer him a full-time job…and an address in DC.”

“We have to go!” You started to stand up but Spencer put a hand on your shoulder.

“We don’t want to spook them,’ Luke said, “I’ll call Matt and see if any local units can do a drive by. We need to be careful. For Max.” You sank back down in the chair. Luke was right but you were desperate.

“Is there anything else on Brian?”

“Records show he’s been at this property since the week after you guys got back from Washington. It’s a duplex in a quiet part of the town. Bills are all paid on time but he doesn’t have a phone line or internet access,” Garcia tapped away at her keyboard.

“Who’s paying the rent if Brian isn’t doing paid work?” Spencer asked.

“Well hello! Our old friend George Stephens has been paying the rent and all bills since Brian moved in. He pays on time every month… and my beautiful crime fighters we have a paper trail!”

“They knew we were on to them so they established a base in DC,” you said. Luke came back. No one had been at the apartment and after the drive by one of the officers had a casual chat with Brian’s neighbour. Brian had claimed to be out of town for a few days visiting family.

“They’re holding Max somewhere else,” Emily said. “I’ll get a warrant for Brian’s apartment, Matt and Luke you head over there and see if we can find anything that points to where they could be holding Max. Garcia follow that paper trail. Rossi and JJ will be arriving within the next hour and then we’ve still got time before Laurence calls us back with the address.”

She looked at you pointedly.

“We’re going to get your friend back and then we’re taking these bastards down.”


	27. Chapter 27

It felt like time had simultaneously slowed down and sped up. The deadline for the exchange was rapidly approaching but the BAU still had no idea where the unsubs were hiding. 

Brian’s apartment had been bare. It looked like he just slept and ate the occasional meal there. The only food in the kitchen were TV dinners, there were travel size soap, toothpaste and shampoo in the bathroom and only one set of sheets. Nothing remotely personal could be found and there were no books or a TV. 

“I’m so sorry,” Matt said over the phone as he described the place to you. 

“It kind of reminds of the sort of place they stick you in when you’re undercover,” Luke chimed in. “He’s living here but it isn’t home.”

It left you back at square one though and you were running out of time.

Max was running out of time. 

“It tells us that Brian has to spending all the time he wasn’t working at the hospital somewhere else,” Spencer said. He unfolded a huge map of the area on the table, shoving everything else to the side. He pulled out a red marker. “Here’s his workplace and here’s his apartment.”

“The starting point for his comfort zone,” Emily said slowly. She smiled at you and gripped your shoulder and you began to get it. Spencer could narrow down the area Brian and his father were most likely to be hiding.

“Fields’ place is over here,” Tara pointed to the map.

“They would stay away from his area of operation completely,” said Spencer, “deny any connection.”

“Okay good what else. This is still a huge area.” Your heart was beginning to hurt, it was pounding so fast. 

“There’s a lot of residential properties here, we can rule them out. They wouldn’t want neighbours that might might report a disturbance,” said Spencer. The red marker cut through part of the comfort zone, ruling it out. “Now we have a shopping distract that I’d rule out for the same reasons. What’s left are commercial areas. Garcia is there anything here that’s abandoned?”

“There’s a strip mall being renovated.”

“No workers could stumble across them.”

“Okay there’s an old factory being turned into housing. I’m guessing that’s the same problem.” Garcia was typing furiously, her face contorted in both anguish and concentration and it still took every fibre of your being not scream. The fact that everyone was working so hard to find Max made it all the harder that nothing was working.

“Turner’s an expert in demolitions right? Has he done any work in DC?” Emily asked. Garcia’s eyes widened.

“That’s why your the boss lady! He has several contracts in the DC area and has worked in the comfort zone. Gah, but there’s no projects there right now!”

You were going to be sick, you were sure of it. Max was going to die and it was all your fault.

“Wait a sec I have an idea.” Garcia didn’t elaborate as she continued to type. The seconds stretched out.

“Garcia?” Spencer prompted gently with a sideways glance at you.

“The same account that rents Brian’s apartment also pays rent on an office building very near a former project of Turner’s. There’s several businesses there though that rent out the space…but according to this a memo was sent out a week ago saying the building was being fumigated. I’m not seeing any contractors being brought in though. Turner owns the storage area connected to the building and there’s no evidence that’s being rented, it’s just lying empty address in your tablets.”

“It sounds like the storage area could be a good place to have the meet,” Luke said over the phone. “They can probably move from the office, control the whole area.”

“It’s a ruse, that where they’re luring us to make their last stand,” said Emily. “I’m calling SWAT the entire building could be rigged.”

“If they see us coming…” you gasped.

“They won’t,” Spencer gripped your shoulders, “they think they have the element of surprise but we know where they are.”

“Rossi just texted. He and JJ are here. Here’s the plan. Y/N, you and I are going to rendezvous with them on the tarmac and then set off when we get the location from Turner. Everyone else I want you to go to that building with SWAT, the entire area must be swept for booby traps. We stay in constant contract from the second we leave Quantico. They need to believe we’re playing ball.”

Everyone nodded and began to move, the tension razor sharp.

“Emily if it’s alright by you I’d like to accompany you and Y/N,” Spencer said. Emily frowned. “I promised…I promised Max I would keep Y/N safe.”

“Spencer…” you weren’t sure what you wanted to say in response, your emotions were in turmoil.

“Okay, you’re with us,” Emily said finally, “when Rossi completes the handover I’ll send him to back up the others.”

“Wait handover?” You frowned, “I thought we weren’t bringing Karina over?”

Emily only grinned in response.

***

“I think we can all agree orange is not my colour,” JJ smiled weakly as Emily slipped the cuffs round her wrists, loose enough so that JJ would be able to slip them off and pull out the weapon hidden in her pockets with ease. 

On the way to plane Turner had texted an address and just like the team had guessed it was the warehouse adjacent to the office block. Matt, Luke and Tara had set out with a SWAT team and quietly set up a perimeter to keep out any civilians. They had drones going over the area and when you had reached the plane there hadn’t been any sign of Max yet.

The plan was dress JJ up as Karina in her prison jumpsuit, place a bag over her head to disguise her face and march her into the warehouse so Turner and Brian would assume the team were co-operating.

“This isn’t going to work,” Spencer shook his head. Since seeing JJ his skin had taken on a sick, green hue and he felt shaky. It was too familiar. His heart pounded as the memories of his imprisonment came flooding back.

“It was my idea,” JJ said firmly. “I can do this.”

“I’m not saying you can’t-“

“We don’t have time for anything else,” Emily said firmly. “This is Max’s only hope.”

Since JJ was in the back of the SUV the bag could come off once they were settled. There was no chance of someone seeing through the tinted windows. Spencer hoped that the whole thing was an overreaction, that Turner hadn’t managed to win an agent or someone else within the bureau over to his side.

“SWAT have cleared the ground floor of the building and two drones in the air.” Emily said, twisting round in the passenger seat as her phone bleeped.

“Any sign of Max?” You asked.

“Not yet but there were some small explosives round the building entrance. They disabled them easily but it’s probably just a precaution if the hideout is breached. Matt thinks that there’s probably more.”

So the plan is to get us to the location and bring the place down on top of us?” JJ asked. “There’s no way Brian and Turner would make it out.”

“I think that’s the point,” you said, a tremor in your voice. “We know who they are, what their mission is. They have nothing to lose and they want to do as much damage as they can to end this thing on their terms.”

Your lip was trembling and you bit down to halt the tears. Spencer could see determination in your eyes. The team had to save Max, there was no other option. 

“Thank you for doing this JJ,” you said quietly as you arrived in front of the warehouse. It was dingy, run down building. Behind it you could see the office block, the windows all dark.

“Luke anything we need to know before heading in?” Emily asked over the phone as Spencer helped JJ with the bag.

“We’ve cleared the first and second floor. They were all deserted but we can hear movement above,” Luke whispered. “”We think one of them has stayed behind to detonate the explosives which means the other is on his own with Max in the warehouse.”

“Okay we need to time this right,” said Emily, “keep all channels of communication open, we’re heading in now.”

The warehouse was dark inside but Spencer could make out two figures shrouded in darkness at the other end. Beside him your breaths were rapid as you all shuffled forwards.

“Laurence Turner.” Emily’s voice echoed through the warehouse, steady and clear. It was a far cry from how Spencer, and he suspected you too, felt. “I’m SSA Prentiss with the FBI. We have Karina here.”

“That’s far enough,” barked Turner followed by the click of a weapon.

‘There’s no trade off until we see that Max is okay,” Emily said. There was a pause and then Turner emerged into the sliver of light from the open door behind them, pulling Max with him. Her face was streaked with dirty tears but she appeared uninjured. Her eyes darted back and forth between you and Spencer, relief visible in the sagging of her shoulders. But she wasn’t out of danger yet.

“Send her over,” Emily ordered but Turner only laughed in response.

“Karina first.”

“That’s not how this works Turner.”

“It works however I say it does,” he chuckled, “and I say that you send Karina over to me first or I paint the floor with the bitch’s brains.” Max’s squirmed in Turner’s grasp and you began to shake. As subtly as he could manage Spencer brushed your hand with his. 

_It’s going to be okay, it’s all going to be okay._

“How about this,” Emily said, “we send them both out at the same time, make the trade simultaneously.” Turner shrugged and nodded. 

It didn’t matter to him, Spencer realised, he expected they would all be dead soon anyway.

Emily pretended to fuss with JJ’s cuffs while Spencer helped. You stood glaring at Turner while they worked, eyes burning. He could only smirk in response.

“Any word from the others?” Spencer whispered. 

“They’re preparing to breach, we need to move fast,” Emily said. “JJ you good?” A swift nod in response and then they turned, Emily giving JJ a gentle nudge. Turner shoved Max forward, yelling at her to move. 

Your hands twitched to reach out for her as she and JJ passed one another.Spencer saw Max glance to the side, as if absorbing something JJ whispered to her. Everyone was holding their breaths as the two women carried on walking. 

There was a crackle from a radio that made everyone flinch.

“Dad they brought SWAT, its a trap!” Brian’s voice, distorted and warped, rang through the air.

“Hit the switch,” Turner screamed and raised his gun, pointing it directly at Max’s back.

He pulled the trigger and everything seemed to happen at once.


	28. Chapter 28

Simultaneously there was a gunshot, an explosion and a scream.

The scream was yours, pulled from you as you saw Turner shoot at Max. You were frozen in place, only dimly aware of a blur rushing past you. Then everything shook, dust and debris raining down on you, shockwaves sending you flying. 

Someone was calling your name but all you could think about was Max. You struggled to your feet but the air was so thick with dust that you couldn’t see anything. You legs were shaking and there was a ringing in your ears.

It was JJ who took you by the arm and shook you gently. There was a bullet hole in the prison jumpsuit but you could see a bullet had lodged in her vest underneath. A nasty cut on her forehead oozed blood but other than she seemed alert, her weapon gripped tightly in her hand.

“Y/N can you hear me?” You nodded.

“Max? I need to find Max. I-“

“She’s fine,” Spencer croaked. He was in a heap a short distance away and curled underneath him was Max. He had been the blur tearing past you, you realised. He’d thrown himself in front of Turner’s bullet. 

You charged forward, pulling Max into a hug.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” she mumbled through sobs. “Spencer saved me.” You grabbed him just as he swayed to his feet, pulling him into the hug too.

“That was reckless,” you mumbled into his shoulder, throat tight with emotion. “But thank you.”

Emily and JJ came up behind you both, Emily looked alright considering but Turner was no where to be seen except for a thin trail of blood heading towards the back of the warehouse.

“I got off two shots,” explained JJ, “but he got away.”

“Matt? Luke? Tara? Can anyone hear me?” Emily tried the comms. There was only static in response. In the distance you could hear sirens.

“Get Max to the officers at the perimeter,” Emily ordered. “We need to find Turner and Brian.”

“I’ll take her and see if we can reach the rest of the team,” said JJ. Max grudgingly extracted herself from your embrace.

“Stay safe,” she pleaded and you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, just nodded in response. 

“I’ll make sure she’s safe,” JJ said to you. “Max will probably need to be checked out at a hospital. I’ll make sure she’s with agents every step of the way.”

“I will come and find you as soon as we take these guys down,” you said thickly. It did nothing to ease the worry in every inch of Max’s face but she allowed herself to be guided away by JJ as you, Emily and Spencer headed towards the back of the warehouse.

The blood trail led outside to a shared alley between the warehouse and the office block. You stared up in horror as a flames engulfed the upper part of the building.

Matt, Luke and Tara had been in there. Nausea threatened to overwhelm you as you tried to make sense of what you were seeing.

“Brian must have had the detonator,” said Emily. “The team was on the floor below so maybe…”

From the smoke that was billowing around the building a shape appeared that morphed into Tara and Matt, carrying a limping Luke between them and followed by a handful of SWAT officers. 

“Oh thank god!”

“Brian’s dead,” Matt said, “We tried to get him out but…”

“Turner’s escaped but we managed to save Max,” Emily explained. “Get Luke to the perimeter so he can be seen by a medic.”

“I’m fine.”

“Luke you’re bleeding!”

“I’ll take him,” said Tara, “we got Rossi on the radio, extra agents are being brought in and fire and ambulances are on their way. He’s co-ordinating everything from down the block.”

“There’s no way Turner can get out of the area,” Spencer said. “What’s his plan now? He can’t take us all out on his own.” You looked at the trail of blood you had been following. It was getting heavier as Turner had headed towards the office building. 

“He must know Brian couldn’t have survived that,” Matt said, squinting up at the burning building.

“Were the explosions just on this side?” you asked. Matt nodded. “The warehouse has roof access. Maybe he thinks he can get avoid the perimeter if he goes up?”

Emily sighed but nodded. Matt and Tara helped Luke away and the rest of you headed back into the warehouse. The dust had begun to settle and the damage was clearer now. The side of the warehouse connected to the office building had a giant hole in it but the roof was still intact and as you looked around you could see that the walkway that led up to the roof was stable. 

“Only one way up and out,” said Emily, “he could be waiting for us.”

“I don’t think so. This is it, he’s done. Turner’s lost everything.”

“He still has his mission,” said Spencer. “The question is will that be enough to make him keep going?”

“Emily I want to go up there.” You didn’t think you could take him down but there was a need inside you to see this entire thing through to completion. After a pause, Emily nodded.

They stood by the door as you kicked it open, weapon raised. A rush of cold night air hit you as you stepped onto the roof. Turner was about fifty feet away at the edge of the roof, staring up at the burning office building.

“Laurence Turner FBI, hands up!”

Turner’s gaze was unfocused as he looked at you, slowly turning. His gun was still in his hand and he made no attempt to throw it away or follow your instructions.

For a moment the two of you just stood there in silence. You inched forward and thought about telling Turner that you knew all about the people he had persuaded to kill and you would find the rest. But he already knew that so what was the point?

You thought about telling him Karina was in custody and if he came quietly there may be a plea deal in it for her. But it was clear that neither death nor prison were too high a price to pay for their mission. 

“You know who I am?” You asked instead, remembering the pages and pages of information that they had on the team at Karina’s house.

“Yes agent,” Turner smiled lazily. For a moment you thought you caught a hint of sadness in his eyes but it was gone in a flash.

“You’re under arrest for god knows how many murders, conspiracy and kidnapping. Is it too much to hope you’ll come quietly?”

“I thought it would end differently,” Turner mused. “I thought I could change the world and I could make some of this…pain…go away.”

You bit back the anger boiling up inside you.

“What about the pain you caused? What about the parents and siblings and children of all the people that you sent to their deaths?”

“I relieved their burdens and corrected mistakes,” Turner said calmly.

“Your father beat your mother,” you said. “It’s one of the few pieces of information that came out at his trial. He was an abusive bastard and she was going to leave to protect you.”

Turner’s face was blank.

“Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“Sometimes agent, life is pain and we need to learn to accept that.”

“I’ll make sure they tell Karina that when we inform her of Brian’s death,” you snarled. You heard Spencer come up behind you with his gun raised.

“It’s okay. He won’t be alone,” said Turner and before either of you could move, he was gone. You raced to the edge but Turner had already hit the ground, arms and legs splayed awkwardly as he stared up with blank eyes.

You weren’t sure how to feel as you and Spencer just stood there, Emily coming up after you. None of you spoke. You hadn’t expected a revelation or even an explanation. Turner didn’t think enough of you or the team to spill his secrets. Karina wouldn’t help on that front either.

You followed Emily and Spencer mutely away from the scene and towards the SUVs. No tears, no screaming, no words. 

“We need to debrief but would you like to go and see Max first?” Emily asked. You nodded. “Okay Spencer can take you and then I’ll see you both back at Quantico.”

“It doesn’t feel real,” you muttered as you and Spencer drove away. It was finally over and you weren’t even relieved. 

“It will,” Spencer warned. “Maybe not yet but as some point in the very near future it’s going to hit you. You’ll need to talk to someone, take some time but most importantly you need to know that you were the driving force behind this case. If you hadn’t pushed then the Washington case would have been the end of it and Turner and his family would have gotten away with sending more and more people to their deaths.”

You swallowed, unable to speak for the lump in your throat. There weren’t enough words to express how grateful you were to hear Spencer say that and to have him with you ink the immediate aftermath.

Just having him there kept you grounded as you made your way through the hospital to Max’s room. Her eyes lit up as she saw you, jumping off the bed where the doctor was finishing up her examination and charging towards you, arms wide.

“I am so so-“

“No!” Max shushed you. “You aren’t doing that. You’re not blaming yourself for this.”

“But-“  
  
“But nothing.” Max pulled you into a hug before the doctor ordered her back to bed. She wasn’t badly hurt and so all that was needed was to fill out the discharge paperwork and then to bring her back in if she she didn’t feel right.

“And you! You promised you’d keep Y/N safe,” Max said to Spencer as the three of you waited for the doctor’s return. 

“I did!”

“You were awfully fast throwing yourself between Max and that bullet,” you said with a smirk. Spencer bit back a smile as a blush rose in his cheeks. “The building was falling on me too.”

“That’s true,” Max nodded solemnly.

“Hey,” Spencer protested. “Yeah you asked me to look out for Y/N but A) they are perfectly capable of handling themselves and B) you’re the most important thing to them so by protecting you…” Spencer trailed off, unable to maintain eye contact with Max as he grew redder and Max looked like she was going swoon.

“Oh that’s smooth Doctor,” she laughed breathily and you rolled your eyes.

“You two are ridiculous,” you declared but inside your wanted to burst. Spencer mumbled something about going to bring the car round, running out of the room as fast as he could while the pair of you chuckled.

“Give him some time,” you told Max, “or rather give me sometime to convince him to ask you out.”

“Y/N… are you going to be okay?” Max asked gently as your laughter subsided. The look of concern on her face made your chest ache.

“I think so,” you said after a pause. “Eventually.”

“You know you aren’t alone with this right?”

Yes, you did know. You knew that better than ever before. 


	29. Chapter 29

“I don’t understand.” Your mother looked blankly through the papers you had given her. As hard as it was you tempered the anger you felt rising inside. It wouldn’t help you today. “This…is this to do with that case that’s been all over the news? Those awful people who…”

“Who recruited serial killers to murder people like me,” you finished. “yes. This was actually found at their house in Washington.” It was the call logs and information from your mother’s appointments with a group that purported to support family members of those who rejected the bond. After your debriefing you’d asked Emily if you could have copies. The originals were all in evidence.

“But how?”

“Those people-“ you flicked the paper she was holding, “hold the same ideology as those killers. So when Laurence Turner reached out online to the group he was able to convince them really easily that he was doing research on young people so he could get hold of the data of hundreds of potential victims in DC.”

Your mother’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak but you didn’t give her a chance to protest.

“They used information you gave them against me. You set serial killers on your own child. Inadvertently yes but all because you can’t deal with a fundamental part of who I am as a person. And it could have been worse. The man they got to run me off the road? We’ve found two homicides that could be attributed to him. A man and a woman whose parents called the same phone line you did.”

“I didn’t think-“

“That’s clear,” you snapped as you pulled on your coat to leave. The other patrons of the cafe were beginning to stare but you couldn’t care less. 

“Sweetheart-“

“There is a good chance that the DC police will want to interview you about that,” you nodded to the pile of papers. “I’m guessing you’ve been following the story in the media?”

The reaction to the Turner case had been nothing short of explosive. Firstly there had been horror at the scale of what the family had done and then anger that they had managed to go unnoticed for so long. There there had been debates and arguments, rallies and protests. You had always felt so alone and yet now it seemed like so many people were standing up to say how damaging society’s attitudes to the soulmate bond were. 

An investigation had been launched. Your case files would be submitted as evidence and the whole team would need to testify but that was only a small part of it. Scholars and experts were being brought in and there was a push to scrap all soulmate exceptions from law. If that worked ether would never be another Larry turner killing someone and getting away with it. 

“You need to learn to deal with this,” you told your mother. “I am not changing who I am for anyone, even if some bastard wants to kill me over it. When you learn to accept that maybe we can have something resembling a relationship.” You didn’t give her a chance to respond before you were out of the door.

It was on her now.

To say the past couple of months or so since you closed the Turner case had been hectic would be an understatement. Debriefing had taken a long time and then there had been a department review and an order from above that the entire BAU needed to take six weeks off to decompress. For you most of that time had consisted of therapy.

Spencer had been right. Once you didn’t have the debriefing or case reports to distract you Turner’s death and the fallout from the case had hit you like a hurricane. Most of it was a blur now. You had a vague recollection of Max pulling you off your couch and dragging you over to her apartment for about a month until the mental fog cleared and you could function again.

Since then it had been slow and hard but with the sadness and confusion came relief and a small glimmer of hope. 

Quantico was buzzing as, an hour or so later, you made your way across the bullpen to your desk. Spencer looked up instantly and you shot him a small smile as you sat down.

“I told you it would be fine,” you said.

“I know, but it was a big thing for you.” He wasn’t wrong there. You had rehearsed that speech to your mother over and over for about a week straight. 

“It’s over now. Whatever happens next is down to her,” you said with a shrug. “So, any cases come in while I was out?”

“No all quiet on the serial killer front,” Spencer shook his head. “There are some reports though.”

“So that means we’re likely to get out of here on time tonight,” you grinned. “So you’re coming to movie night with me and Garcia!” Several expressions fought for control over Spencer’s face giving you enough time to wave over Garcia and announce there would be three of you tonight.

“You’ll love it boy wonder, it’s an old movie!” Garcia practically jumped for joy. Spencer sighed but a smile played on his lips.

‘What are we watching?”

“Tod Browning’s Dracula from 1931,” you said and Spencer’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Garcia you hate horror!”

“Yeah but it’s old so it won’t be that scary and it’s a classic and the movie theatre is putting on a whole thing and shut up okay.” The words tumbled out all in one go even as Garcia was heading back to the bat cave. Spencer turned to you but you were already pulling out case files.

“I’ll pick you up around seven okay?”

“Are you two planning something?”

“Other than an awesome movie night?” You asked innocently.

“Y/N…”

***

True to your word you picked Spencer up at 7pm along with Penelope. Tara was giving a guest lecture out of state otherwise she would have been there too. Sometime during the mandatory six week break they had gone to Emily, filled out all the relevant forms and declared their relationship to the team. Everyone had done their best to look surprised.

“If this case showed me anything it’s that I should be proud of my relationship and not care what anyone thinks about a stupid mark.” Garcia folded you into a cotton candy scented hug as the team had gathered round to congratulate them both on the first day back. It had made you happier than you could put into words.

“This theatre regularly shows classic movies so maybe we can bring Tara next time. I think they’re do a monster movie marathon for Halloween, sounds like your thing Spencer.”

“It is,” he said slowly. He knew something was up. You steered the conversation to movies in general to pass the relatively short drive to the movie theatre.

It was an old, 1930s building recently renovated. Inside everything was navy blue and gold with a plush carpet and a vintage concession stand. They decorated the place with classic Hollywood movie posters and the ushers were dressed up in blue and gold uniforms.

“I feel like we should have dressed up,” sighed Penelope, “It’s amazing.”

“I told you,” you nudged Spencer. He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off but someone excitedly calling your name. A young woman hurried towards you pulling you into a hug.

“Eloise!” You hugged her back, a huge grin on your face. “You look great how are you doing?”

“Same old, same old,” she said with a wave. “Are you here for the movie night too?”

“I am. These are friends of mine from work, Penelope Garcia and Spencer Reid.” They smiled and said hello as Eloise’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide with wonder.

“You’re Spencer Reid?”

“I- yes?” Eloise threw her arms around him and you had to clamp a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from chuckling.

“Um El. Spencer isn’t really a hugger…”

“Oh my God I am so sorry!” Eloise yelped and practically jumped backwards. Garcia looked like she was having the time of her life while Spencer struggled to work out what was going on. “I’m just so grateful for what you did. I don’t think we can thank you enough and we’ve been asking Y/N if we could meet you. I know you must all be super busy solving crimes…”

“Whoa Boy Wonder what did you do?” Garcia laughed. Spencer shook his head.

“I am so sorry I have no idea.”

“Oh right I didn’t say who I was!” Eloise pressed her hands to her face, “god I must look like a complete crazy person right.”

“You don’t!” You put a reassuring hand on Eloise’s shoulder. “Eloise is Max’s sister. Max and I told her family about you jumping in front of a bullet to save her and you’re kind of a super hero now.”

“I…oh…no…It’s my job Ma’am. I mean Miss. I…uh”

“Y/N?” You turned around at the sound of your name, trying to flash your brightest, yet most innocent smile. Arms folded across her chest, Max was in full what-exactly-is-going-on-here teacher mode.

“Oh hey Max! Fancy seeing you here.”

“We always come to these screenings.”

“You do?” Spencer asked, voice quiet. He shot you a look that you couldn’t quite decipher and you just shrugged in response.

“Huh. Must have slipped my mind. Is your Dad here?”

“He’s getting the tickets. Don’t change the su-“

You grabbed Eloise and Garcia’s hands in each of yours and began leading them away.

“Okay I need to say hi. Garcia you’ll love Don, he is the funniest guy and he’s crazy about movies. Spencer we’ll grab you a soda!” You called over your shoulder, leaving the pair of them. You could hear Spencer’s brain whirring as he tried to process everything and Max just shook her head. You weren’t bothered, she would forgive you later.

“Oh so that’s why you chose this screening,” said Garcia. “God they are so cute together.”

“And our seats are in the same row,” you grinned. “They have been dancing around each other since I went to stay at Max’s. Honestly this is for my sanity as much as it is for them. The tension is unbearable.”

“And he saved her life,” Eloise sighed. “Is there a more romantic way to start off a relationship?”

She and Garcia began swooning and chatting excitedly as you reached the counter. While they ordered you watched Spencer and Max talking. Neither could hold eye contact for very long, Spencer’s hands began to twitch and Max was doing that thing she did when she was nervous, folding and unfolding her arms. 

“Shall we take our seats?”

“In a sec,” you told Garcia, “I’m going to grab some snacks. I’ll see you in there!”

The foyer slowly emptied as people made their way inside. You ordered gummy bears, Reese’s pieces and the soda you promised Spencer. As if summoned he appeared by your side.

“Let me carry that.”

“So gallant!” You joked. “You didn’t go in with Max?”

“She’s saving me a seat,” Spencer blushed. “Next to her.”

“Finally!” You raised your eyes heavenwards. Spencer smiled and there was something in his look that made you pause. “I hope you don’t think I overstepped. I just-“

“I’m really glad you’re my soulmate Y/N.”

Something in your chest hummed, not painfully, but it felt full and warm. You were glad too, you realised. As difficult and painful as the world had made the soulmate bond for you standing in that place and that time you were incredibly grateful that of all the billions of people in the world Spencer had been the one to share your mark. 

There was no obligation or expectation. Instead there was love and friendship and respect and trust.

“I still don’t know how I think of the bond in general,” Spencer admitted. “I loved Maeve. I loved her romantically and I like to think that if she had lived then we would have been happy. I can’t accept the fact that her death was…destined to happen? I hate Cat for what she did and everything that came after. There’s a lot off pain there but it means a lot that that pain led to you and to being your friend.”

“I don’t think it has to make sense,” you said after a moment, your voice thick with emotion. “There’s lots of things in the universe that don’t make sense, that hurt us. God you know when people say “everything happens for a reason”? I hate that so much. Sometimes stuff is just chaos you know?”

“Oh yeah,” Spencer laughed, though his eyes were shiny. “I know chaos.”

“It’s how we respond to the chaos, how we try and navigate it and find a purpose. That’s what matters and I think being your friend is a good purpose. The best purpose.”

For a moment you just stood there, overwhelmed with happiness, goofy smiles on your faces and trying to hold back happy tears. You went inside eventually, Spencer took Max’s hand partway through the film and separately both of them flashed you grins in the dark before the film was over. You smiled back and at Don, Garcia and Eloise though they couldn’t see you.

That was what mattered. That was the purpose in the chaos, love of all kinds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it folks! We've reached the end. Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story, I know it is not a typical fic but a lot of love went into it and your comments and feedback mean a lot to me ❤️


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